Tag Archives: sugar addiction

You’re so sweet for asking…


I’ve had a few requests for an update, since I wrote my blogpost about giving up sugar, almost 5 months ago. So, here you go…

I went off radar when my sugar withdrawal started. Mainly because, as well as dealing with the eating issues, I also had to do something about my sedentary lifestyle. My health and well-being were suffering. I decided that apart from having to sit at a desk to work, anything that kept me in the chair too long HAD TO GO! That included sitting looking at a blank page – not getting any writing done.

amo-in-running-gearSo I ignored the blog for a while and joined a running club. I don’t do real running. I call it ‘enthusiastic walking’. The dark evenings don’t stop me, I’m kitted out with illuminous arm bands and a headlamp, (these do stop me, but only from running into a tree). Most of the time I want to die (of embarrassment and lack of oxygen, alternatively), but I am glad to be doing it and I feel the better for it.

I’ve been asked for ‘before and after’ photos too. I’m always nervous about them. Cos usually they sound the death knell of any efforts to lose weight. I do think I’m in the best frame of mind I’ve ever been though. In a blog post about dieting, which I wrote eons ago, I said the fatal words, ‘I think I have a handle on the eating thing now.’ That signalled a major falling off the wagon. I wonder if a sugar addict like me ever gets a real handle on it. Probably not, but I’m certainly winning at the moment.

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I wasn’t confident enough to take a ‘progress’ photo until after the first stone had gone.  Already my favourite comfortable top was starting to hang (a little) and I could see my face changing. I can’t even bring myself to post photos from before that. I don’t think I even ‘saw’ them at the time. I see them now and I can’t believe it. I’m not ashamed of them, just very sad that I waited so long to sort myself out.

I know lots of people don’t like to let the scales rule their progress, but I have to have that weekly accountability. The photos are great and the fact that now I’ve had to buy smaller clothes is fantastic, however the numbers still mean something to me. I try not to get hung up on them, but they do help.

amo-3-and-a-half-2So, if I lose 1lb this week, I’ll have lost 3 and a half stone. I’ve been using myfitnesspal since 2012 but never got anywhere near this number until I vamoosed processed food and sugar from my life. I can’t begin to tell you how different I feel, in every way. I have been praying for years about my weight. Asking God to help me and show me what I need to do. I really believe that this is the answer to those many years of prayer. I’m not saying I won’t ever make a blunder, or lose the plot. I just know that this is the way I can conquer my addiction.

And now it feels like time to get my bum back into the chair – but not for too long. I’m looking forward to writing again, and finding a balance between my writing life and my active life.

Thank you so much to those who’ve been with me on this journey. And thank you blog followers for sticking with me. Hopefully… normal service is resumed.

Whatever that is! 🙂 x

 

My Sweet Lord!


I wish I could find that photo of myself.

I’m about 12/13 and am sitting on a sand dune on Ballinaclash beach in Co. Wexford. I’ve got my legs crossed and my hands on my knee with a ‘strike a pose’ look on my face. I’m wearing a red bathing suit and there are at least three places to ‘pinch an inch’; but I don’t seem to care. In fact, I don’t remember being aware of the ‘rolls’ as I posed for the photo.

I doubt there’s a photo of me after that time where I’m not self-conscious about how I look. (Discount any where I’m not sober.)

If you’re familiar with this blog then you’ll know that every so often, the subject of eating and weight rears its rotten head. My blogging journey started with a series of posts about weight loss (or not) it’s been coming around like Christmas (only not as often…) You’ll find some examples here and here.

For the last few months I’ve been reading blogs and Facebook pages about the subject; most posts giving actual pain because they talk about a land that I’ve not been to for a long time. A land where I’ve got my food:activity ratio as it should be. A land where I’m looking after myself properly. And more importantly, a land where I’m happy with myself; and my swimsuit, with its rolls.

25482907745_d195113ddd_qIt might sound like I’m jumping on the band wagon, but I’ve known for a long time that sugar is my nemesis. I’ve said before that I’ve an issue with food, but I’ve really believed that I am an addict. I do now though. I love, want, need and crave sugar – in any and all of its forms. Have you read those articles that tell you sugar lights up the same parts of the brain that a cocaine hit does? I’m not a bit surprised. I can think of nothing better than a bucket load of chocolate and a key. To lock the door behind me so I can eat it in secret.

So… about a month ago I quit. None in coffee, none on cereal – in fact no cereal except porridge. No processed food, just fresh meat and vegetables, salads and fruit; you know… all the good stuff. I’m allowing myself a minimal amount of bread and potatoes. (Come on, I’m Irish. I’d have to hand in my passport if I stopped eating the spuds altogether).

I worry about writing a post like this. Saying it out loud is usually the beginning of the end of a diet for me. I’m praying that this is a life change, a turning of my heart towards full dependence on God, and not a sugar buzz, to give me joy.

I’ll be honest, I’m grieving a bit. I’m sad that (please God) I’ll never eat a whole bag of Haribo in one sitting again. That I won’t be enjoying sugary chocolate with sugary coffee on a regular basis. And I’m scared – cos sugar makes me feel better, and what if my whole food bars and a cup of green tea don’t do the same?

I pray these words from Psalm 119: 103 will be true for me and I will get the sweet rush I need from Him.

“How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!”

If you’re interested, the FB pages I’ve been following are Teresa Sheilds Parker, Sundi Jo and Just Eat Real Food  and if you’re a prayer, please pray for me. I need it!

Thanks, A x

photo credit: Sugar via photopin (license)