My Sweet Lord!

I wish I could find that photo of myself.

I’m about 12/13 and am sitting on a sand dune on Ballinaclash beach in Co. Wexford. I’ve got my legs crossed and my hands on my knee with a ‘strike a pose’ look on my face. I’m wearing a red bathing suit and there are at least three places to ‘pinch an inch’; but I don’t seem to care. In fact, I don’t remember being aware of the ‘rolls’ as I posed for the photo.

I doubt there’s a photo of me after that time where I’m not self-conscious about how I look. (Discount any where I’m not sober.)

If you’re familiar with this blog then you’ll know that every so often, the subject of eating and weight rears its rotten head. My blogging journey started with a series of posts about weight loss (or not) it’s been coming around like Christmas (only not as often…) You’ll find some examples here and here.

For the last few months I’ve been reading blogs and Facebook pages about the subject; most posts giving actual pain because they talk about a land that I’ve not been to for a long time. A land where I’ve got my food:activity ratio as it should be. A land where I’m looking after myself properly. And more importantly, a land where I’m happy with myself; and my swimsuit, with its rolls.

25482907745_d195113ddd_qIt might sound like I’m jumping on the band wagon, but I’ve known for a long time that sugar is my nemesis. I’ve said before that I’ve an issue with food, but I’ve never really believed that I am an addict. I do now though. I love, want, need and crave sugar – in any and all of its forms. Have you read those articles that tell you sugar lights up the same parts of the brain that a cocaine hit does? I’m not a bit surprised. I can think of nothing better than a bucket load of chocolate and a key. To lock the door behind me so I can eat it in secret.

So… about a month ago I quit. None in coffee, none on cereal – in fact no cereal except porridge. No processed food, just fresh meat and vegetables, salads and fruit; you know… all the good stuff. I’m allowing myself a minimal amount of bread and potatoes. (Come on, I’m Irish. I’d have to hand in my passport if I stopped eating the spuds altogether).

I worry about writing a post like this. Saying it out loud is usually the beginning of the end of a diet for me. I’m praying that this is a life change, a turning of my heart towards full dependence on God, and not a sugar buzz, to give me joy.

I’ll be honest, I’m grieving a bit. I’m sad that (please God) I’ll never eat a whole bag of Haribo in one sitting again. That I won’t be enjoying sugary chocolate with sugary coffee on a regular basis. And I’m scared – cos sugar makes me feel better, and what if my whole food bars and a cup of green tea don’t do the same?

I pray these words from Psalm 119: 103 will be true for me and I will get the sweet rush I need from Him.

“How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!”

If you’re interested, the FB pages I’ve been following are Teresa Sheilds Parker, Sundi Jo and Just Eat Real Food  and if you’re a prayer, please pray for me. I need it!

Thanks, A x

photo credit: Sugar via photopin (license)

11 thoughts on “My Sweet Lord!

  1. workingmarried

    Hi Annmarie,

    Just thought I’d drop you a quick mail – well done on your decision! We’ve been through a massive change of diet over the last few months. We have also cut out processed sugar, cow’s milk, processed foods, wheat… and we’re all well on it. 🙂

    We found that what helped us was getting our thinking right first. After watching Jason Vales ‘s SuperJuiceMe and various other videos we found that we didn’t _want_ to eat things other than what God had given us…. well, mostly! I have a wife who’ll sing Jason’s praises with regard to weight loss on the 14 day challenge. 14lbs in 14 days and kept it off! 🙂

    If you’ve not read The Maker’s Diet, I highly recommend that too.

    Anyway, stick with it – the first few days are the hardest as you go through withdrawal and detox, from there on it gets easier. 🙂 Happy to take any questions on any of that if you want.

    Be encouraged, Chris.

    P.s. If you eventually want /some/ grains, we’ve opted for making spelt sourdough bread as that’s way better than “regular” breads. I’ve been writing a bit about that on my blog if you’re interested.

    *Chris Goodchild*

    e: twitter: @cpgoodchild

    On 02/06/16 17:24, Just another Christian woman… talking through her hat! wrote: > > auntyamo posted: “I wish I could find that photo of myself. I’m about > 12/13 and am sitting on a sand dune on Ballinaclash beach in Co. > Wexford. I’ve got my legs crossed and my hands on my knee with a > ‘strike a pose’ look on my face. I’m wearing a red bathing suit and th” >

  2. gigglingfattie

    Good luck with your new healthy eating! I’m kind of in the middle of that as well. Just trying to cut down on carbs. I LOVE CARBS. And salty snacks like chips – I feel your pain and know the desire to overcome.

      1. gigglingfattie

        Oh goodness I LOVE bread! haha I think it’s hard because we get a sense of comfort from certain things. Food is definitely one of the things that brings a lot of people comfort – memories of home and family and growing up.

  3. Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored at work so I decided to browse your site
    on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the knowledge you present here and can’t wait to take
    a look when I get home. I’m shocked at how quick your blog loaded on my
    cell phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G ..
    Anyhow, superb blog!

  4. Wow! I’m so proud of you for quitting ‘cold turkey,’ Annmarie! How’s it going? Are you sticking with it? Carbs and sweets are definitely the biggest challenges to permanent weight loss, but I believe in you and in God’s willingness and ability to give you the strength to persevere. If only we’d all live by the words in Psalm 119:103!

  5. Pingback: You’re so sweet for asking… | Just another Christian woman… talking through her hat!

  6. First of all I want to say superb blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like
    to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts before writing.
    I’ve had a difficult time clearing my thoughts in getting
    my thoughts out. I do enjoy writing however it
    just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally
    wasted simply just trying to figure out how to
    begin. Any recommendations or tips? Appreciate it!

  7. Pingback: H is for Have Mercy – Just another Christian woman…

  8. Pingback: Looking after the bricks and mortar – Just another Christian woman…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.