April AtoZ Challenge…

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Writing, Blogging etcLeave a comment

A2Z badgeI’m going to be missing for a while as I take part in the April AtoZ Challenge over on the blog of my new writer’s website. http://www.annmariemiles.com/blog

Hope to see you there 🙂

ps if you sign up to receive regular updates about my writing and as a thank you for trusting me with your email address I’ll send you two brand new stories written just to celebrate launching the website 🙂

Just go to http://www.annmariemiles.com and drop your email address at the nr the bottom of the homepage.

Thanks, A x

Oh My Papa

On By auntyamoIn Family13 Comments

Christy Keeley April 1930 - Feb 2014
Christy Keeley April 1930 – Mar 2014

On Monday 3rd my dad breathed his last after almost 84 years. He’d been unwell for a couple of months and just 2 weeks ago moved into a great nursing home, with staff who were very caring of him and us.

In some ways I lost my Dad in 1985 when I was 13. He was knocked down by a car and sustained a massive head injury which he battled with until he died. I know my mam found it very hard at times. Over the years he came back to us a little – he certainly didn’t lose his sense of humour or his love of a drink and a sing song. Thankfully, we had lots of moments where his real personality got out in front of the struggles he had with mental health. He had a great ability to tell a story you’d already heard (more than once) and still make you laugh. He had an endless supply of songs and energy to sing them. And the combination of his and mam’s love of music and parties, and just being together was passed on to us.

At the funeral last week, my brother mentioned that we had trouble keeping up with him. We really did! Right up to the last couple of months he was constantly on the go. And right up to the last few days he had great intentions to keep going.

He loved Christmas. No really… he LOVED Christmas. And he was always prepared well in advance. Another trait he passed on. One of my abiding memories of him is his work ethic. I used to say that my leg would have to fall off before he’d let me take a day off school. And even then he’d ask if I could carry it!

I’m still in shock to be honest and have all the usual ‘why didn’t I…?’ questions rolling around my head. But although we spent a lot of time worrying about him, he was as happy as larry most of the time. So I’m going to remember his life and sense of humour. His hilarious stories and comprehensive Christmas card list. His lively singing voice and charming smile.

“No better man” was a phrase he used a lot. But I love that he didn’t only use it about himself. “No better man” and “No better girl” was a compliment given to us all at one stage or another. He didn’t mind sharing the title.

I’m sorry I never got to talk to him about my book. He did talk to others about it and was surprised that I was able to write so many stories. When that report came back to me I was laughing & thinking… “eh hello… and where did I get that from do you think???”
But I did find his copy of my book with a little note on it and like most things after the owner is gone – it’s all the more precious.

No better endorsement :)
No better endorsement 🙂

This weekend we’ll be thinking of him and my mam as it is her 9th anniversary. It’s a strange thing to have no parents any more. But I’m so blessed to have had them both as my parents. And I know my family feel the same. 

This life was meant to shine

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuffLeave a comment

As I write I’m almost submerged under a duvet – tissues on one side, paracetamol on the other. So it’s hard to get into the mood of writing about the above title. Problem is, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. I haven’t written here for almost a month. Although I’ve been busy with other writing, it’s been hard to write here cos, I don’t make stuff up here.

This blog has always been about the way things are  – no fiction allowed. My last two posts are about sadness and it’s all I felt I could write. Didn’t want to write more of that, so… I didn’t write anything. For the last two weeks I’ve had an ‘ear worm’. You know when you hear a song and it won’t go away. Well my ear worm is ‘This Life’ by MercyMe. I had a random old playlist on my iphone and the song came on. Hadn’t heard it in ages – even though it’s one of my faves.

There’s a few words in the song that struck me as I sang along.

“Hold your heads up high
This is our moment to rise
We were meant to shine
Not just survive”

We were meant to shine, not just survive. It occurred to me that for a good few weeks I’ve been ‘surviving’. Not being dramatic or anything, but a lot of days have been… “ok just do what you can do today. What NEEDS to be done today? Who needs to be paid today? Just get through today and you’ll be fine.”

There must be a balance between what it says in Matthew 6 “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” – and doing more than just surviving.

I’m not quite sure what it is, but maybe even saying it out loud is the first step to finding out 🙂

Meanwhile, it’s a fab song – give it a listen.

I’ll never be the same again

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Random RamblingsLeave a comment

The last two weeks have changed me forever and I know I’ll never be the same again.

I don’t mean that I will always grieve or that I will always be sad. I know that over time I will get used to the fact that my dear friend Tom O’Gorman is gone; and the ‘how’ of his death will become easier to bear.

I know this because I remember in 2002 when it was confirmed I would never have children, I thought I’d never get over it. I lost my ‘sparkle’ and thought I’d never get it back. But I did. It took many years and still at times it makes me sad. But it turned out that it’s true…
Time heals almost everything.

I remember at my lowest, God brought me to this verse, 1 Peter 5:10
“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”
I clung to that promise then and I do so again now; the promise that Christ himself, will restore me, will confirm me, will strengthen me and will establish me.

When I say I’ll never be the same again what I mean is, I’ll never look at the newspaper headlines the same again. I’ll never pass a shocking front page and wow for 20 seconds before returning to what I was doing without further thought. I’ll never see a leader without knowing that there are people who will be distressed by the giant printed words on a page. I will never trust the papers again. To my knowledge, nothing they reported was untrue. But they were not compassionate, they were not caring or kind. I wouldn’t have expected The Sun to be anyway – but I expected more and better from The Independent. And I will never look at their business in quite the same way.

So though I am sad now, I will not always be sad. But I will always remember that behind the dramatic headlines there are people hurting and grieving.
And I think that makes it a good thing, that I will never be the same again.

Added note (27th Jan 2014) I should add that my comments above re newspaper headlines, refer to the initial reports of Tom’s death. I acknowledge that there were some lovely tributes reported in the following days.

On the loss of a dear friend, Tom O’Gorman

On By auntyamoIn Family, Getting to grips with God stuff14 Comments

One of the photos on Tom's FB wall. It means 'Love conquers all'
One of the photos on Tom’s FB wall.
It means ‘Love conquers all’

I wish I was writing this on my fiction blog. A tale that I made up in a mad creative moment. But no… it really happened. The life of my lovely friend Tom was taken in a way which I can hardly believe and certainly cannot put here.

I met Tom on Independence Day 2012. Though we’d had a bit of Facebook banter before then. We met to help our mutual American friend, far from home, celebrate the 4th of July. Within a few minutes we were slagging each, other which for me is always a good sign. 🙂 I’d travelled on public transport that night and there was no way he would let me walk across town to the Luas stop on my own. He took an alternative (and convoluted) route home so that he could walk with me. He was a total gentleman – in every sense.

He had many interests – politics, faith, ethics, law, history and sport to name a few. He was way cleverer than me and though we talked about faith and work a lot, most of the time we laughed and joked. He had such a fantastic sense of humour. He was a great writer and told me that he would love to try his hand at writing comedy. He thought I was funny too – not a comedienne though… he said I was more a humourist. I liked that 🙂 He thought I was funnier in person than on paper though. So we decided that we’d give it a go and write a comedy sketch together.  Sadly we never got around to it.

Over the last few months I could sense a deepening in his devotion to God and when we talked, it was more and more about spiritual matters. He was eager to serve God more and better and he shared with me some of his hopes and plans for the next few years. It is painful to think they will not come to pass. He became like a big brother figure in my life. Checking in with me regularly, asking me how I was. Always promising to pray for me, which I’m sure he did.

Tom had many many friends. Most of them knew him longer and I’m sure better than me. But over the last 18 months we became great buddies. Or ‘budsos’ as we called each other.

Tom had an amazing range of accents and was even better at the ‘Tallaght’ accent than I was.  Our parting greeting was usually in ‘Tallafornian’.
He’d always say something along the lines of…

“See ya soon bud yeah?”

My answer always was – and is today, “Deffo!”

*****

My sincere condolences and prayers go to his family, work colleagues, friends and all who mourn the loss of such a great guy

Tom RIP

I hope the folk from Pro Life Campaign Ireland don’t mind that I used this lovely photo of Tom that they posted on FB yesterday…

Turn around when possible…

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Random Ramblings1 Comment

You know when you’re about to set off on a journey but the sat nav hasn’t given you your first instruction yet? So you move forward so it knows which way you’re heading and then (usually in my case) it says its favourite words – ‘turn around when possible!’

compassThe start of 2014 has me feeling a little bit nervous about which way I should go. I’ve never had a great sense of direction and have regularly taken wrong turns – even with sat nav help. I’ve been looking back at some blog posts and it seems I’m the same in life. I’ve shared a few posts on this before, not knowing where to go or what to do next. But through the year things happened with God opening some surprising doors and in some cases he closed doors It thought were for me.
2013 has been fantastic though – who would have thought it would turn out like it did?

This seems to be a time for reviews… so here’s my quick look back at 2013. 

Attended the launch of the National Emerging Writer’s Programme and took to some serious writing
Did the AtoZ Challenge & 1City1Book in April
Stopped short of the Masters in Theology and finished with a Post Grad Diploma (so I could go write some other stuff)
Shortlisted for Blog Awards Ireland
Quit @auntyamo on Twitter to re-emerge as @amowriting
Was made redundant from my 9to5 job
Got to be involved in the Red Line & Dublin Book Festivals as well as the Dublin Christian Arts Festival
Completed NaNoWriMo
PUBLISHED A BOOK! with Emu Ink (still ‘whooping’ over that one 😀 )
Prepared myself to say goodbye to my dad for the third time in my life and… he’s still with us.

Most of that stuff was a complete surprise to me and certainly not where I thought I was heading. And I have no idea what is in store for 2014. So all I can do is start moving. I think I know what way to go, but if I’m going the wrong way my prayer is that God will speak to me. God is my ultimate sat nav and I trust Him to direct me and when I go the wrong way, to tell me to ‘turn around when possible.’

Happy New Year everyone, and thanks all your visits and comments in 2013 x

photo credit: gwgs via photopin cc

More than you could ask or imagine

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Writing, Blogging etc1 Comment

There’s a series of Christmas stories over on my fiction blog, Fictitious Amo, one each day by a different author. I’m delighted with the contributions. You should take a look… 🙂

In the meantime – my lastest musings…

I’d heard about it lots of times but I don’t remember experiencing it.

pile booksIt’s quite possible that I actually experience it every day and never notice. Maybe having clean air and clean water and a roof over my head… That could well be it and I just never spotted it.

But whether I’ve experienced it before or not, I’ve only noticed it recently. For the first time I know what it’s like to receive more than I could ask or imagine.

I’ve wanted to be great at something for ages and not known if I ever would be. I’ve wanted to shine; not brighter than everyone else, but brighter than I ever had & brighter than I ever thought I could.

I spend so much time swatting the flies of guilt and failure, and it’s very tiring. But after years of being good at things but never quite cutting the mustard, I seem to have found something I’m great at. (Dare I say it…?) Something I’m really really great at.

The process of writing and publishing my first book has been a miracle really. From the financial gift handed to me by a good friend at the very beginning, that basically paid for half of it. To the surprise opportunity to do an extra term of teaching, which paid for the other half. The response of the publisher and her hard work, and now the response of the readers, especially the authors who spoke at my two launch events.
One of them said I “weave magic with words”. About me… he said that about ME!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked God to allow me to be great at something. To fill the space left by the years of longing to be a great mother. To be able to point at something and say, “I did that and it’s bloody good. I’m proud of it.”

God is my ultimate inspiration and I mean it when I say in the book.
‘Though you are not explicitly mentioned in this book, every redemptive moment every opportunity for forgiveness and every glimpse of hope is inspired by your Good News!”

Well… now I know. Now I know what it’s like to receive more than I could ask or imagine.
Nothing to do with money or success. Just something I can give that people enjoy.

My favourite currency.

photo credit: Raoul Luoar via photopin cc

Remember, remember, the absolute bonkers madness that is November (hang on… that’s not right is it?)

On By auntyamoIn Writing, Blogging etcLeave a comment

In case you hadn’t heard… 🙂

auntyamo's avatar

Well hello everyone!

Have you missed me? I’ve been buried under the craziness of NaNoWriMo AND getting my book ready to launch. NaNo story is almost there. Almost 42k as of last night, so on the home stretch now.

But the very exciting news is that ‘The Long & The Short of it’ my first collection of short stories is out and there and published and real and you know… PUBLISHED 🙂

 

It’s a fantastic feel to have the book out there in the world.

You many recognise a few of the stories as a number of them have been on the blog. But they’ve been polished up and some of them have a different ending… There are also some brand spanking new stories too – that never made it to the blog.

 

The launch was a fun night. The book was launched by novelist, story-writer and story-teller Catherine…

View original post 220 more words

Disappearing for a while…

On By auntyamoIn Writing, Blogging etc2 Comments

I’ll be a bit quiet during November… here’s why 🙂

auntyamo's avatar

Hi foiks

I’ve decided to do NaNoWriMo this year – aka National Novel Writing Month – to try to get the bones of my first novel down on the page.

So I won’t be around much in November, but… my first collection of short stories  called
‘The Long and the Short of it’ is being launched this month so as soon as I have a venue confirmed I’ll be shouting. Date is November 21st. More news anon.. 🙂

If you are doing #NoNoWriMo this year and would like to buddy up, my NaNo user name is ‘auntyamo’ and my word count will be automatically updated to the little blue box on the right hand side – the minimum word count for the month is 50,000.

My NaNo novel is ‘Dear Mel…’ and here is the synopsis I’ve put up on the NaNo site..

Carmel Graham, or Mel as she…

View original post 174 more words

Guest Post: Paradise on a Penitential Island (Part 2)

On By auntyamoIn Guest Posts1 Comment

I hope you enjoyed the start of Mary’s story (if you haven’t read part 1 just click here.)
So without further ado…

Paradise on a Penitential island Part 2

I will interrupt myself again with some notes I wrote at approximately half way through this glorious weekend:

“12.35p.m. Day 2
They are queuing for the tea and toast already – they run the danger of me eating them.
…Another boat full has arrived – all energetic and light of foot – they’ve only been fasting for 12 hours after all!
Way more young people here than I’d expected.
It’s clouded over now was sunny – sooo beautiful.
There’s worse ways of doing penance I’d say! Like doing here in the rain!
Smelt the cooking rashers earlier – had to move!
Foodhall opens at 1.15. queue is growing. Good job I didn’t accidentally bring supplies – they’d be gone by now.
Real spiritual stuff this. Can’t even think of a prayer, can only think of my body – sore and tired.
Maybe eating and exercising might engage my spiritual side more… My head feels so numb.
Queue gone! Where? Been eaten?
Should have at least put on toenail varnish – I am so unprepared!
So God… besides eating, what do I do with myself? …when I get home.
Can’t even miss the girls anymore.”

Now, back to the real world:
Let us briefly reflect on what the people were queuing for
– black tea or coffee, dry toast, oatcakes.
But also sugar.
White granulated sugar, in a glass dispenser that pours continuously into your black coffee until you stop it.
But why stop?
The thin flat oatcakes look like cardboard.
Dunked in your sugary coffee they look like wet cardboard.

But, eat nothing for 20 hours, put a warm damp oatcake between your parched lips and wait to be amazed.

The average Hobnob contains 1.1g of protein, 3.1g of fat, 0.8g fibre, and 9.4 g of carbohydrates, of which 3.9g are sugar.

Information again pilfered from the web – God bless my creativity and the world wide web!

The nutritional composition of Lough Derg oatcakes is not available online, but that is of no real account because my second discovery on the penitential island was that if your BLACK coffee contains almost as much SUGAR as it does water, then a strange thing happens when you consume your dunked oat cake.

On this penitential island, St. Patrick’s purgatory, you’ve discovered paradise.

And paradise is a hot oatcake that for all the world tastes like a Hobnob, and you don’t even miss the milk from your coffee because this just tastes so great!

No I don’t just mean great, I mean one of the best tasting things you’ve ever eaten in your whole life.
The only thing that comes close is the tea and toast you get after you’ve delivered a baby, but even that doesn’t taste this good.
The best food in the world is the Lough Derg oatcake – dunked.
Rachel Allen, Jamie Oliver – eat your heart out!

But there is only one meal a day, so it doesn’t matter how good it tastes, you are only going to get it twice.

Notes from sometime later on that second day:
“Short choppy stepping, protect, or are demanded by tender toes grazed on rocks and pews.
People’s feet more recognisable than their faces.
Father – daughter identified by their long slender piggies. Then the white sparkly toe-nails, the flat, fat footed woman, the corroding fake tan feet, bunions – a whole medley of bunions! Strapped ankles, wide feet, narrow feet, archless feet, trousers tied around their legs.
Overnight vigil now surreal, a body of people, rising and swarming, bound by the devotion but singular in its execution, but still part of the swarm.
Waiting for the sky to brighten – victory over night for the sun and the penitent.
God – where are you in this? In a late rosary for the unborn?
Warm breeze – is that you God?
Silvery lake turns pewter in the rising breeze.

Father, Son, Holy Spirit – help me to trust that you are showing me the path of life… taking me into the fullness of joy of your presence and at your right hand – happiness for ever.”

Maybe, just maybe I’m not all flesh.