More than you could ask or imagine

There’s a series of Christmas stories over on my fiction blog, Fictitious Amo, one each day by a different author. I’m delighted with the contributions. You should take a look… 🙂

In the meantime – my lastest musings…

I’d heard about it lots of times but I don’t remember experiencing it.

pile booksIt’s quite possible that I actually experience it every day and never notice. Maybe having clean air and clean water and a roof over my head… That could well be it and I just never spotted it.

But whether I’ve experienced it before or not, I’ve only noticed it recently. For the first time I know what it’s like to receive more than I could ask or imagine.

I’ve wanted to be great at something for ages and not known if I ever would be. I’ve wanted to shine; not brighter than everyone else, but brighter than I ever had & brighter than I ever thought I could.

I spend so much time swatting the flies of guilt and failure, and it’s very tiring. But after years of being good at things but never quite cutting the mustard, I seem to have found something I’m great at. (Dare I say it…?) Something I’m really really great at.

The process of writing and publishing my first book has been a miracle really. From the financial gift handed to me by a good friend at the very beginning, that basically paid for half of it. To the surprise opportunity to do an extra term of teaching, which paid for the other half. The response of the publisher and her hard work, and now the response of the readers, especially the authors who spoke at my two launch events.
One of them said I “weave magic with words”. About me… he said that about ME!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked God to allow me to be great at something. To fill the space left by the years of longing to be a great mother. To be able to point at something and say, “I did that and it’s bloody good. I’m proud of it.”

God is my ultimate inspiration and I mean it when I say in the book.
‘Though you are not explicitly mentioned in this book, every redemptive moment every opportunity for forgiveness and every glimpse of hope is inspired by your Good News!”

Well… now I know. Now I know what it’s like to receive more than I could ask or imagine.
Nothing to do with money or success. Just something I can give that people enjoy.

My favourite currency.

photo credit: Raoul Luoar via photopin cc

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