As I write this, a gang of family members are gathering to celebrate my Dad’s birthday. He has been gone for just over 2 years, but tonight in his local they’ll raise a glass to him and raise their voices in song. He and my mam, who’s been gone for 11 years now, left us a great legacy of spending time and singing songs together.
I don’t get homesick these days, but today is one of those days that I’d like to be at home.
I suffered terribly with homesickness when I lived in the UK before. Nothing against Wales or my friends and family here – I just missed Ireland, and my own lot. I’m so thankful to God that when He called me back to Wales, He made it an easy transition. Communication is easier too. Whatsapp is a very cool app. It’s been very handy to be able to be in contact with all 7 siblings (yes 7) in one go. Sometimes the conversations are bonkers, and I love it.
After a few weeks of tripping over boxes and trying to find space for stuff, we’re just about unpacked in our new home; one we believe will be a long term one. We’ve moved a number of times in the 17 years that we’ve known each other. This is our 8th ‘home’ in 16 years of marriage, that’s not counting moving to temporary accommodation on 5 different occasions. I didn’t leave my parents house until I was 27. Boy did I make up for it! 😀
“So what has all this got to do with being a Pastor’s Wife?” I hear you ask.
Actually, I’m asking that question myself. 🙂
I think it’s that this season of my life has brought about a (hopefully) permanent/long term home. It’s been years since we’ve felt settled; years since we’ve felt we can really unpack… everything.
There are perks to this job, which we’ll deal with in ‘P’ on the 19th – our home is definitely one of them. 🙂
Most days, as I leave to go to work, I have to unlock the church carpark gate to get out. There’s a fiddly padlock that drives me bonkers, but I wrestle with it and once I’ve sorted it, I’m on my way.
We live in the flat above the church. Opening the gate reminds me that even though it is our home, it’s not wholly ours and we have a responsibility to look after it. Someday (hopefully some far away day) someone else will live here, we hold it in trust for them.
Sometimes the gate troubles me. We have to lock it at times; for security and to make sure the car park is not used as a public one. We have to keep the church locked too. Even I can remember a day when churches were left open. Those days are well gone.
There are a number of ‘gates’ in the Bible; gates of righteousness, gates of death, temple gates, the gates of hell, North, South, East and West gates, and lots and lots of city gates. City gates helped to fortify a city. Along with the walls of a city, they kept people safe within and helped to keep enemies out. There are those who don’t like Christians and churches; but I don’t want our gates to keep anyone out who would like to enter them.
I sometimes have ‘security’ fears and was encouraged and reminded recently by one of our elders who said that it is not locks and bolts that protect us, but God. Now he was not saying , ‘don’t lock your doors’; he was just saying that we should trust God. I want God to teach me to be a wise, generous and fearless gatekeeper. The church building and gates may be locked at times, but I pray our church, our church family, will always be open and welcoming.
When I’m on the early shift, I admit I don’t ponder such deep thoughts. I’ve only enough brain function to get myself to work. But for as long as we’re here, I hope that gate will help keep me accountable to a few things.
Every so often I meet up with a small group of women who are married to pastors. We’re all very different. Some have been PWs for a number of years. Others are quite new to it. I’m the total newbie. Our churches aren’t the same either. Different types and sizes. But for the motley crew we are – we share an understanding of the challenge, responsibility and blessings of the role we’re in.
We coffee, chat and pray together. We’re also going through a book together; The Minister’s Wife by Ann Benton. I shuddered a little at the thought of going through a book. But it’s actually great. Down to earth, realistic, encouraging and challenging. Just what I need.
It’s been great to be able to share stuff and hear about other situations. We pray for our churches, we pray for each other; and we pray for our husbands, with that unique insight we have in their lives and ministry.
There’s something special about fellowship with people who are in a similar boat.
Now yesterday you might have thought me a bit negative; but I want to be honest in these posts. It was a ‘real’ post. I hope you get that. And here’s another real one for you. I am so excited. I am so encouraged. I am so… thrilled at the extraordinary thing that God has done.
Our church family prayed for a Pastor. They hadn’t had one for 20 years. And we were the answer to those prayers. You can read more about that unbelievable story here. Already there are great encouragements and new people coming to church; coming to God. Not our doing, we’re blessed to be reaping the harvest that others planted for.
When it comes to extraordinary – well, the Gospel of Christ just blows my mind! To work together with himself and others in sharing God’s love & grace is a blast. I’m still not sure how good I’ll be at this – but I need to remember how privileged I am to get to do it.
Do me a favour and don’t let me forget that. 🙂
I’m v late posting today, so I’ll leave it there. Tomorrow is ‘F’ for Fellowship. Until then x
This is probably my greatest fear in this role; that I will let everyone down. The folk in church, the hubby, the oodles of people who are praying for us, and God himself.
I don’t want to disappoint anyone.
But I probably will…
Cos I human and therefore, imperfect
Cos people will have expectations and I may not be able to meet them all
Cos I regularly disappoint myself, I can’t see that changing.
Not sure I can do anything to avoid the desperate Ds, all I can do is do my bestest and keep praying.
I have a theory about this calling thing.
I’m not convinced that the call is the same for both spouses when it comes to church leadership.
I think the calling of a pastor is so much more clear-cut. Often there’s a contract or some form of official agreement, there’s a title and a role with (fairly) explicit responsibilities. For the other half, it’s not the always the case.
All marriages, churches and callings are different. So I can only speak for myself. I’m not sure I feel called to be a Pastor’s wife, I’m not even sure if there is such a calling. The only calling I’ve even been sure of (apart from God), is my calling to Rich.
Now before anyone sets their hair on fire. I’m not barefoot and tied to my kitchen sink. The beloved is on constant bin, dishwasher and grocery shopping duty. And yesterday, as I was in agony with a stupid shoulder injury, the pastor preached two sermons and insisted on sorting lunch and tea. Regardless of his current title, I’m his priority. So this is not a 1950s ‘pipe and slippers’ situation.
There are things I can do. I get the opportunity to use my gifts regularly. I get to sing and talk and lead services; and make cake! (yummy poppyseed cake). Maybe part of my role is to lead by example and use the gifts God has given me, in the church.
As far as a ‘ministry calling’ goes, the only one I’m really sure of is the one to help him to be the best that he can be. Sometimes it’s about practical stuff, sometimes it’s about keeping the knuckle-head stuff out of his way. Most times, it’s standing back, and making room for him to read, study, prepare etc. After that, I’m not really sure what my calling is.
I have an unfulfilled maternal instinct that could run riot if I let it 🙂 Who knows where it might get a chance to flourish. I’m part of a great team of leaders and their other halves; and it’s a joy to work with them.
I’m know I am where I’m supposed to be and ultimately, I am called to follow Christ.
One of the things I’m trying to work out at the moment is how to manage my time. We don’t have children, so we’ve only really had to worry about ourselves and each other. Life is busy for most people I think. I’m trying to be a writer, I work, I have a home and a husband to keep in some semblance of order. Though I have to say, he does his fair share and more.
But now… well, things are different now.
A new group of people has been added into our mix. There are others we have to consider when thinking about how we spend our week.
When Rich started working for the church, I was commuting to a full-time job; out of the house for 9-10 hours a day. Most of my shifts were late finishing and I worked Saturdays every so often. I had no idea how I would manage. I knew I’d need to be around more. I WANTED to be around more, but did not know how I’d do it. Immediately I started to look for more local, part-time work. In a flash, I had a part-time job, a short walk from the church. It was amazing, and in a later post I’ll tell you the full story.
So now, it’s easier to sort my time out, but… I’m still learning the balance.
The wife
The PASTOR’S wife (she’s a whole other wife!)
The domestic goddess (hey! stop laughing!)
The 9-5 worker (well, 9-2 😀 )
The writer (not recently, but she’s back now)
The child of God (mmm have a feeling that should be higher up the list…)
The musician (practise has been a bit thin on the ground)
Who and what gets my time first? OK I know there are a couple of obvious answers in there, but how do i balance it all? That’s my thing at the moment; learning what my priorities are. And I think it all ties in to another issue that’s rolling about my mind at the moment.
Who’s calling is this?
Richard is employed by the church. I’m not. But surely we’re both called aren’t we? This isn’t just his thing…. C is for calling – so let’s do that one next.
No post tomorrow as is the tradition of A to Z (Sundays off), so I’ll see you Monday x
Thank you so much for the lovely welcome back I’ve had. You don’t know what it means to know that you are still here even after my months of absence. Thanks for the messages and tweets etc, to hail my return. I’m blessed.
And so here we to with 2016’s A to Z Challenge and my theme this year – The A to Z of the Pastor’s wife 🙂
A is for Amen
‘So be it.’ That’s the translation of the word Amen.
‘Truth’ is another way it can be described.
After years of doubting it would happen, and I confess in some small way being reluctant for it to happen, I came to the point of saying “so be it” – AMEN, the beloved is gong to be a Pastor.
We were married 7 years before we had any notion of a calling to this type of ministry. I was 30 something, he was 40 something. We had just relocated to Ireland, I was happy to be home, but struggling emotionally. In the midst of all that, came a call to action.
My stock answer to the raised eyebrows of perplexity… “Believe me, there’s no one more surprised than we are.”
But when it settled, when it grew on me, I felt peace about it. That weird peace you feel when you’re scared and reluctant; feeling ill-equipped and out of your depth. Knowing that you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, even though you’ve no idea how to do it – or why you’ve been asked… it’s a fabulously bizarre place to be.
But I say – so be it, Lord!
It has to start there doesn’t it? I have to grasp this thing with both hand and say, “AMEN God, to the task you’ve called me to.”
All I have to do now is work out what exactly I’m supposed to be doing… 😀
A x
ps The pastor guest tells the story in more depth here if you’d like to read it.
It’s been a while. Too long! I am, however back and looking forward to delighting you all with my excogitations and ministrations. 🙂
I have decided to launch into my favourite blogging event of the year. The April A to Z Blogging Challenge. Last year I didn’t finish it, but it’s always one of the funnest things to do. It’s a great way to connect with other bloggers, find new people to follow and some new readers too. If you’re interested, you still have a few days to sign up before the list closes. I’m number 1,617! There’s room for one more…
My theme this year is “The A to Z of being a Pastor’s Wife.” I have been a Pastor’s wife now for 4 months, so obviously I know all there is to know *coughs* and am ready to share my wisdom. 😀
OK so I still have oodles of stuff to learn. God has shown me things about myself that I had not seen before (or maybe things I had just ignored). I’ve also seen the beloved in a new light, and am learning to let him be my Pastor too. We live ‘on site’, which has its own blessings and challenges. And we are loved, so unbelievably loved, by people we’re just getting to know. It’s been an amazing few months and I’m looking forward to sharing some of my thoughts on these early days.
So! After a break from writing, I’m delighted to getting back into the daily habit.
I’m really glad you’re still here – oh faithful readers. Thank you! xx
Welcome my guest poster – my own beloved, Richard Miles. Keeping to the AtoZ theme (yes, it’s still going 🙂 ) he’s is going to fill you in some more on our new adventure 🙂
U is for Unbelievable!
I am using the word ‘unbelievable’ in the sense of being above, or beyond belief, rather than against belief.
Paul in Ephesians writes: Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Eph 3:20-21
These words sum up the sense that I have as I write this blog post. Over the past 12 months, no, over the past 18 months, actually, over the past 8 years, although it’s really over the past 17 years… God has done immeasurably more for us than we could ask or imagine.
It was during the Summer of 2008 that the Lord began to call me to ministry, and I spent the next three years at the Irish Bible Institute in Dublin, training to serve him. At the time, I believed that he would lead me into work in Ireland, as that is where I was when he called me and I went to an Irish Bible College!
It was a real privilege to have the opportunity to preach many times during our 7 years in Ireland. But, that was not the place where God was calling us.
After Annmarie was made redundant, our circumstances became more of a challenge. Nothing seemed to be working out, and one by one, doors began to close in Ireland. We knew that our long term future wasn’t there. Then in August 2014, it became clear to us that we should move back to Newport, my home city. It was the easiest decision we’d ever made; with an almost tangible assurance that it was the right thing to do.
We moved mid December. We knew that the Lord was bringing us back for a purpose. I was still convinced that he wanted me to go into ministry, so decided to look for opportunities to preach. I had the full backing of my home church, Malpas Road Evangelical Church, which is where I was born and grew up. My intention was that I would take as many opportunities as came to me, to preach in other churches when needed. Maybe one of them would be looking for a Pastor, and decide to call me.
As it turned out, I didn’t get to preach at many churches at all. I visited two churches, both in the Pontypool area. One of them was Upper Trosnant Baptist Church.
From our very first visit, we felt the warmth of the welcome and fellowship there. I preached on a number of occasions over the next few month; I knew that God was with me as I shared his Word.
However, when Richard Harrison, one of the church elders, phoned me to ask if I would allow my name go forward to be considered as Pastor of the church, it was a complete surprise. Although… I knew it was right.
It was something I had been praying for. I believed this was the opportunity. After lots of prayer and discussion with Annmare, and some very positive meetings with the leadership of the church, the recommendation went to the church that I should be appointed Pastor.
The next few months seemed to be very long, as I waited for the church to make their decision. There was lots of ‘if and when’ talk, but we had to wait. It was a great exercise in patience for us both.
When the church came to make their decision it was a unanimous one, that I should be called to be Pastor.
It is just so amazing the way everything came together. My prayers were answered, God showed his purpose for us to be back in Wales and it’s an extra blessing that we have the opportunity to serve the Lord not too far away from our family and our Malpas Road family!
It’s wonderful to know that the prayers of the church were answered as well; and amazing to think that Annmarie and I would be the answer to anyone’s prayers.
Even the practical issues around the move seemed to just sort themselves out. The flat above the church had long-term tenants, who recently decided to move on. Annmarie’s full time job in Cardiff took up most of her time and energy and she was concerned that she would not have much time during the week to be involved in church life. She applied for a part-time job, local to the church, and got it. Just like that!
God really has done far more than we can ask or imagine. U is indeed for unbelievable. We’ve also thought of words recently like ‘undeserving’, ‘unprepared’, ‘unreal’, ‘uttermost’ and of course, our new home… Upper Trosnant.
We continue to look to God to do unbelievable things as we seek to serve Him, our new family and our new community.
H is for Home
G is for Gate
F is for Fellowship
E is for Excited, Encouraged & Extraordinary
D is for Disappointment
C is for Calling
B is for Balance
These words sum up the sense that I have as I write this blog post. Over the past 12 months, no, over the past 18 months, actually, over the past 8 years, although it’s really over the past 17 years… God has done immeasurably more for us than we could ask or imagine.
Just another Christian woman... 