Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Belong’
I deliberately didn’t go to something recently cos I genuinely didn’t feel I belonged there.
Even though the invitation was open to all who saw it.
I actually was sick with nerves at the thought of being there. And it’s not the first time it has happened. I get terrible ‘event anxiety’. People who know me well and read this will probably be surprised, some might even think I’m making it up.
But I get stressed and nervous and have stupid panic-attack style moments that I don’t fit in, I’m not welcome, I don’t belong. It’s actually been going on for years.
No doubt a psychologist would be able to work out some deep-rooted issue that would explain it. I’m fairly confident that I have a raft of them to choose from. 🙂
Sitting here, I know it’s totally irrational and to some degree silly,
but there you have it.
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Just another Christian woman... 
I have event anxiety too. Work is an entirely different matter, but when I’m having fun and want to let go and relax, I prefer things low-key and simple and slow-paced. Most events are not that way.
Thanks Victoria – I’m delighted that it isn’t just me.
I’m the same in work – maybe it’s cos I have my ‘game face’ on 🙂
Yep! Oh man, the game face…. totally 🙂
I’m sorry you felt you didn’t belong. I know that’s a bad way to feel. My brother dealt with something similar for quite a while. He did eventually see it improve, but found that he needed help from medication for a while at first. Thanks for sharing from your heart. I’m visiting with Five Minute Friday (I’m #140) and wish you all the best!
Thanks for stopping by.
It’s the strangest feeling in the world. Quite paralysing at times. Doesn’t happen often, but when it does… 😦
We’ve all been there, even the ones who seem to have it all together. You just need to find your group, your people, your “event” style. Hang in there, sister, it will find a way of working itself out!
Thank you so much for the encouragement Rachel 🙂
Oh sister! I am right there with you! I can’t tell you how many events I have to work myself up to go to. Sometimes I get to the parking lot and can’t make it in. Keep pushing! Keep going! Keep on keeping on!
Hiya – I’m with you there. I’ve sat in my car outside places, having to force myself to go in.
It’s hard to explain it and even understand it thinking about it in the cold light of day…
I totally understand.
Thank you 🙂 x