Five Minute Friday – Lonely

On 09/08/201325/07/2014 By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff10 Comments

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday… Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Lonely’

You’ve heard it before haven’t you? The saying that you don’t have to be alone to be lonely.
We all know that we can be lonely in a crowded room. How many kids are lonely on the school playground? How many adults are lonely in a busy work environment?

And so it goes that not everyone is lonely when they are alone.

I reckon that’s because ‘lonely’ is an internal thing.

I have often longed for peace and quiet – and I mean more than just the absence of noise, I mean inner peace and inner quiet. Sometimes loneliness is just too loud.

It might sound like a contradiction, but to me loneliness is a noise. It mocks and it teases and it tries to scare me and tries to steal my peace. Even though I know that God is always with me, sometimes I struggle to feel His presence and I allow the din to take over.

I don’t have any clever lines to finish off with.
No handy hint or tip to combat it.
Sometimes you just have to go through a lonely phase and battle on.

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Five Minute Friday – Belong

On 19/07/201325/07/2014 By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff11 Comments

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Belong’

I deliberately didn’t go to something recently cos I genuinely didn’t feel I belonged there.
Even though the invitation was open to all who saw it.

I actually was sick with nerves at the thought of being there. And it’s not the first time it has happened. I get terrible ‘event anxiety’. People who know me well and read this will probably be surprised, some might even think I’m making it up.

But I get stressed and nervous and have stupid panic-attack style moments that I don’t fit in, I’m not welcome, I don’t belong. It’s actually been going on for years.

No doubt a psychologist would be able to work out some deep-rooted issue that would explain it. I’m fairly confident that I have a raft of them to choose from. 🙂
Sitting here, I know it’s totally irrational and to some degree silly,
but there you have it.

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Five Minute Friday – Rhythm

On 21/06/201325/07/2014 By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Writing, Blogging etc10 Comments

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Rhythm’

I’m very strict when it comes to timing.
I don’t mean time keeping, I’m rubbish at that. No, I mean rhythm…

I teach singing and guitar and I’m always trying to drum it in to my pupils (pardon the pun) – the importance of keeping the beat. The whole thing falls apart if the beat isn’t right.

Rhythm… it’s all about the rhythm… No point in 12 quick beats and then nothing for a few seconds and them some more rushed timing. Steady, steady as she goes.

At the moment I’m up to my eyes in writing deadlines. Which is hugely exciting for me. I don’t get paid to write – not yet anyway 🙂 but I’m ok with that. I love it. Have found my thing. But I have come to the conclusion that I have to get in to a rhythm. I can’t do nothing for a few days and then try to cobble stuff together.
If I’m gonna take this seriously well… I have to take it seriously.

I need to heed my own words and get into some steady timing, a regular flow, then who knows what fabulous lyrics and melody will follow?

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Five Minute Friday – Listen

On 14/06/201325/07/2014 By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff, Random Ramblings8 Comments

I really enjoyed Five Minute Friday that last time I did it, so here goes…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Listen’

I can’t stand noises that I don’t know what they are. I find an unusual noise frightening, and I have to go and investigate to see what it is. The most repeated phrase in my house after “pass the chocolate” is… “Sshhhh, listen, what’s that noise?”

The weirdest ‘find’ ever was when I heard a fast scratching sound that would last a few seconds and then stop for half a minute and then start again. Of course (!) the beloved couldn’t hear it and after a few goes I had to get out of bed and find what it was. I followed the sound to his side of the bed and it was definitely coming from under his bedside locker.

I moved the locker and a HUGE beetle was on his back, legs scrabbling trying to turn himself back over. As you can imagine I reacted in a calm and measured way… After screaming the house down, the husband was dispatched to return the beast to its natural habitat.

I’m not kidding, I hear everything. Every little sound and squeak.
But it’s important to me that someone else hears it.
When it happens, I don’t just want him to listen to the noise.
I want him to listen to me.
Listen to my fear.
Reassure me that it’s nothing.

Needy? Maybe.
Silly? Yes.
Important to me? Absolutely vital!

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