Five Minute Friday – She


It’s time for Five Minute Friday… five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘She’

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this week’s prompt – ‘She’ – was the question,

“Who’s she? The cat’s mother?”

my mammy
my mammy

This was something that was asked, or I suppose, ‘demanded’ when as a child if I referred to someone as ‘she’. I never understood why it was rude. I just knew that it was.

I’m actually quite surprised at how that has brought back a flood of memories about my mammy. She obviously learned her manners from her own mother; who was herself a very quick to point out if I said anything wrong…

I remember clearly trying to shake off the rules of behaviour and propriety that they that they tried to teach me. If I wasn’t nice to someone, or didn’t wait my turn, or even complained when I was asked to do something… I’d be in big trouble. And I hated it. I hated having to be generous other people’s kids. I hated having to share stuff. I hated having to be nice to older people who weren’t very nice to me when she wasn’t around. Even if I told her that, it didn’t matter. I remember the day she told me that I still had to be nice when someone else wasn’t. I only understood that as an adult.

I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to every word she said but I am grateful to her for every effort she made to encourage me to be a better person.

Who’s she? She’s my mammy 🙂

Click the image to find about more about Five Minute Friday
Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday – Worship


Five Minute Friday… five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Worship’

Let us enter a time of worship…

Worship the Lord in spirit and in truth…

This is your spiritual act of worship…

Let us continue to worship God with our offering…

Sing songs of worship…

The word worship is a strange one. On the one hand you get this idea of sacred, reverend moments where everything and everyone else is put to aside and God is held above all others. Maybe not actually kneeling down; but certainly assuming a solemn position.

But on the other hand there is a picture of simple daily living. Making decisions and performing tasks in the light of love and mercy that have already been given. A willingness to surrender all power and possessions.

I reckon worship can be elaborate and extravagant. But I don’t think it has to be.
It can be simple and quiet and almost invisible to the passer-by.

worship

Whether you’re swinging from the rafters in praise, or sitting quietly – worship is only worship when it’s happening on the inside. I was once told that your relationship with God is only as authentic as the form it takes when no one but He can see you.

Click the image to find about more about Five Minute Friday
Five Minute Friday

photo credit: CarbonNYC via photopin cc

Five Minute Friday – Last


Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday… five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Last’

Being the youngest of 8 children isn’t so bad. And I challenge anyone to hold the title of ‘baby of the family’ as long as I did, with oodles of nieces and nephews arriving hot on my heels. (The first one when I was 2½!)

Now that I am a mature adult (*coughs) I try to balance the ‘kid sister’ thing (cos let’s face it, it comes in handy the odd time) with the equal family member with all associated privileges, rights and responsibilities. 🙂

Me with my husband, parents & 8 older siblings on my wedding day 19th August 2000
Me with my husband, parents & 7 older siblings on my wedding day 19th August 2000

There is one striking memory I have of being last; one of those bitter-sweet ones.
It was when my mother had died and she had been waked at home and now it was time for her removal to the local church. We had to leave the room so that the funeral directors could get ready to take her from the house for the last time.

my mammy
my mammy

I can’t remember who asked the question but it was thought that we should file out in order. Initially I was to go first, but then it was decided we would do it the other way – and start with the eldest. We said our final goodbyes, got into a line, and after my Dad, one by one we filed out of my parents’ house, with me the last to leave.

I was proud to take my place in the line. I was the last one to be born to her. The last of her children to live there with her and the last to leave the house; just before she did, for the last time.

Click the image to find about more about Five Minute Friday
Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday – Small


It is a bit of a crazy time which is why it’s been a WHOLE WEEK since I’ve posted! I know I’m a disgrace 🙂 I haven’t been dossing tho… I’ve been hard at work writing and editing in prep for publishing my short story collection. If you haven’t heard about it you can pop over to my fiction blog Fictitious Amo for the news. In the mean time… here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday… five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Small’

Look at me!  I used to be small :)
Look at me! I used to be small 🙂

Small… one thing I’ve always wanted to be.
I must have been small at some stage but I don’t ever remember being small. When I look at photos of myself as a teen I don’t think I look THAT big, but I remember the constant nagging of the older generation for me to lose weight. And here I am at 41 still wrestling with the same rubbish. Now the voices are inside my head – always; I don’t need anyone to tell me these days.

Maybe it was/is rebellion, greed, laziness, apathy… I’m not sure but I am not and never will be… small.

I am grateful however to be loved just as I am by lots of people and especially God. That doesn’t mean there is not incentive to make an effort to change. But right here, right now, Ephsians 2 tells me that God’s love for me is high, and wide and deep and long.

Good thing with my proportions eh? 🙂

Click the image to find about more about Five Minute Friday
Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday – Lonely


Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday… Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Lonely’

You’ve heard it before haven’t you? The saying that you don’t have to be alone to be lonely.
We all know that we can be lonely in a crowded room. How many kids are lonely on the school playground? How many adults are lonely in a busy work environment?

And so it goes that not everyone is lonely when they are alone.

leap

I reckon that’s because ‘lonely’ is an internal thing.

I have often longed for peace and quiet – and I mean more than just the absence of noise, I mean inner peace and inner quiet. Sometimes loneliness is just too loud.

It might sound like a contradiction, but to me loneliness is a noise. It mocks and it teases and it tries to scare me and tries to steal my peace. Even though I know that God is always with me, sometimes I struggle to feel His presence and I allow the din to take over.

I don’t have any clever lines to finish off with.
No handy hint or tip to combat it.
Sometimes you just have to go through a lonely phase and battle on.

Click on the image below to find out more about Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday

photo credit: Leah Makin Photography via photopin cc

Five Minute Friday – Broken


Our neighbour knocked at the door the other day to borrow our tin-can opener. She then arrived back at the door, slightly red-faced to say that as she gave it the first turn, the whole thing came apart in her hand.

tin opener
Our shiny new tin opener.
But I’m not so easily replaced!

She literally handed it back to me in about 8 pieces. Little tiny screws, the big handle, the twisty-turny bit (not the technical term I’m sure). She was very apologetic and promised to replace it and apologised again. But obvs I told her it was ok not to worry. Most likely the next time I’d picked it up it would have fallen apart and it was just a ‘time & place’ thing.

But I did ponder it for a while. Because I’ve often felt just one twist or turn away from breaking and no one would know, It’s not something that can be seen. Just like the tin opener!

I’ve felt it many times over the years… that feeling that I just can’t take any more pain or disappointment.
One more turn and I’ll fall apart into not 8 but 80 pieces, and I’ll never be put back again.

And though I’ve felt like that on occasion, almost broken – I’ve never quite fallen apart.

I am bruised,
God literally only knows how I am bruised!
But He has not allowed me to be broken… 🙂

Five Minute Friday – Belong


Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Belong’

I deliberately didn’t go to something recently cos I genuinely didn’t feel I belonged there.
Even though the invitation was open to all who saw it. 

I actually was sick with nerves at the thought of being there. And it’s not the first time it has happened. I get terrible ‘event anxiety’. People who know me well and read this will probably be surprised, some might even think I’m making it up.

But I get stressed and nervous and have stupid panic-attack style moments that I don’t fit in, I’m not welcome, I don’t belong. It’s actually been going on for years.

No doubt a psychologist would be able to work out some deep-rooted issue that would explain it. I’m fairly confident that I have a raft of them to choose from. 🙂
Sitting here, I know it’s totally irrational and to some degree silly,
but there you have it.

Click the image below to find out more about Five Minute Friday.

Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday – Rhythm


Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Rhythm’

I’m very strict when it comes to timing.
I don’t mean time keeping, I’m rubbish at that. No, I mean rhythm…

I teach singing and guitar and I’m always trying to drum it in to my pupils (pardon the pun) – the importance of keeping the beat. The whole thing falls apart if the beat isn’t right.

Rhythm… it’s all about the rhythm… No point in 12 quick beats and then nothing for a few seconds and them some more rushed timing. Steady, steady as she goes.

rhythm medium_3194792639At the moment I’m up to my eyes in writing deadlines. Which is hugely exciting for me. I don’t get paid to write – not yet anyway 🙂 but I’m ok with that. I love it. Have found my thing. But I have come to the conclusion that I have to get in to a rhythm. I can’t do nothing for a few days and then try to cobble stuff together.
If I’m gonna take this seriously well… I have to take it seriously.

I need to heed my own words and get into some steady timing, a regular flow, then who knows what fabulous lyrics and melody will follow?

Five Minute Friday

photo credit: pippoapg via photopin cc