Five Minute Friday – Last

On 23/08/201325/07/2014 By auntyamoIn Family, Five MInute Friday6 Comments

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday… five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Last’

Being the youngest of 8 children isn’t so bad. And I challenge anyone to hold the title of ‘baby of the family’ as long as I did, with oodles of nieces and nephews arriving hot on my heels. (The first one when I was 2½!)

Now that I am a mature adult (*coughs) I try to balance the ‘kid sister’ thing (cos let’s face it, it comes in handy the odd time) with the equal family member with all associated privileges, rights and responsibilities. 🙂

Me with my husband, parents & 8 older siblings on my wedding day 19th August 2000 — Me with my husband, parents & 7 older siblings on my wedding day 19th August 2000

There is one striking memory I have of being last; one of those bitter-sweet ones.
It was when my mother had died and she had been waked at home and now it was time for her removal to the local church. We had to leave the room so that the funeral directors could get ready to take her from the house for the last time.

I can’t remember who asked the question but it was thought that we should file out in order. Initially I was to go first, but then it was decided we would do it the other way – and start with the eldest. We said our final goodbyes, got into a line, and after my Dad, one by one we filed out of my parents’ house, with me the last to leave.

I was proud to take my place in the line. I was the last one to be born to her. The last of her children to live there with her and the last to leave the house; just before she did, for the last time.

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13 years ago I didn’t marry my soul mate

On 21/08/201323/08/2013 By auntyamoIn Family, Getting to grips with God stuff12 Comments

On Monday myself and Sir Galahad were 13 years married.

Personally I think we’re lucky to have made it! I often envy people’s FB posts that say, “x amount of years ago I married my best friend, my soul mate!” I’m like… really? Well you’re lucky. Cos I did not marry my best friend and definitely didn’t marry my soul mate. In fact I hardly knew him, but I sure did (and do) love him.

Over the 13 years we have become best friends and I’m not really sure what a soul mate is, but he’s probably the nearest thing to I have to one – apart from Jesus. (Who I think probably wins the prize actually.)

We’ve had 13 years of hard slog. Grieving over lost loved ones, lost hopes of having children, fighting depression and they’re just the issues I can put out on the world-wide web. Email me for a full list if you’d like. (You won’t get one, but it would be good to know who are the nosey-parkers :D)

It’s been difficult and there have been times when I thought… “you know what? I can’t be bothered with this any more…” But thank God I came to my senses.

So… you may wonder are we celebrating at all and do we have anything to celebrate?

YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.

We have made it to another year, another milestone. We know folk who struggle with marriage issues and don’t make it. Many are sad to break up, some are relieved – because it’s easier and just better not to be together.
And I get that – believe me, I get that.

But we are celebrating and thanking God that we have won the latest battle; even though there’s no doubt there are more to come. But for now we trust Him, and we stand together
in victory, weapons ready, armour on.
Cos it’s the only way we are going to make it!

amo and rich 2012 — September 2012
somewhere nr Kenmare

Thank you God for another year.
Thank you God for 13 years.
Bring it on!

NB! No husbands were injured in the writing of this post, (Well mine wasn’t, in fact he approved it!)

Five Minute Friday – Small

On 16/08/201325/07/2014 By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff, Health, weight & wellbeing4 Comments

It is a bit of a crazy time which is why it’s been a WHOLE WEEK since I’ve posted! I know I’m a disgrace 🙂 I haven’t been dossing tho… I’ve been hard at work writing and editing in prep for publishing my short story collection. If you haven’t heard about it you can pop over to my fiction blog Fictitious Amo for the news. In the mean time… here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday… five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Small’

Look at me! I used to be small :) — Look at me! I used to be small 🙂

Small… one thing I’ve always wanted to be.
I must have been small at some stage but I don’t ever remember being small. When I look at photos of myself as a teen I don’t think I look THAT big, but I remember the constant nagging of the older generation for me to lose weight. And here I am at 41 still wrestling with the same rubbish. Now the voices are inside my head – always; I don’t need anyone to tell me these days.

Maybe it was/is rebellion, greed, laziness, apathy… I’m not sure but I am not and never will be… small.

I am grateful however to be loved just as I am by lots of people and especially God. That doesn’t mean there is not incentive to make an effort to change. But right here, right now, Ephsians 2 tells me that God’s love for me is high, and wide and deep and long.

Good thing with my proportions eh? 🙂

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Five Minute Friday – Lonely

On 09/08/201325/07/2014 By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff10 Comments

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday… Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Lonely’

You’ve heard it before haven’t you? The saying that you don’t have to be alone to be lonely.
We all know that we can be lonely in a crowded room. How many kids are lonely on the school playground? How many adults are lonely in a busy work environment?

And so it goes that not everyone is lonely when they are alone.

I reckon that’s because ‘lonely’ is an internal thing.

I have often longed for peace and quiet – and I mean more than just the absence of noise, I mean inner peace and inner quiet. Sometimes loneliness is just too loud.

It might sound like a contradiction, but to me loneliness is a noise. It mocks and it teases and it tries to scare me and tries to steal my peace. Even though I know that God is always with me, sometimes I struggle to feel His presence and I allow the din to take over.

I don’t have any clever lines to finish off with.
No handy hint or tip to combat it.
Sometimes you just have to go through a lonely phase and battle on.

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photo credit: Leah Makin Photography via photopin cc

Has anybody seen my faith…?

On 03/08/201309/08/2013 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuffLeave a comment

A friend of mine is looking for faith in Ireland – can you help her?

Today VOX Magazine editor Ruth Garvey-Williams is heading off on a world tour of Ireland to find faith. If you are interested in faith in Ireland, I recommend you follow #FindingFaithIE over the next few days.

You can follow VOX on Twitter and Facebook and keep an eye on their website. Ruth will be updating regularly and would love to hear from people on the journey. So do get in touch if you have any ideas and/or suggestions. She may well take a detour down your way!

It’s a joy and a privilege to be part of the VOX team and Ruth has bucket-loads of enthusiasm for this project; but she can’t do it on her own.
So if you’ve seen any faith out there let her know won’t you!? 🙂

P.S. No Nissan Micras were harmed in the making of the graphic above
erm… wishful thinking there Ruth 🙂 x

Between a thing and a whatsit…

On 27/07/2013 By auntyamoIn Book Review, Getting to grips with God stuff4 Comments

I’m about to read a book, that I’m hoping will change my life.

Don’t worry, I haven’t gone mad 🙂 I’ve never been a fan of self-help books. A number of them have been recommended to me over the years, but I haven’t ever read anything that has influenced me more than the Bible. I’m not saying I rule out everyone else’s wisdom. I read ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ by Stephen Covey and that, and his book ‘First Things First’ had a huge impact on my working life.
In general though, I’m not one for that genre.

But my interest has been piqued by Jeff Goins new book ‘The In-Between’. I’m taking Jeff’s ‘Tribe Writers’ course and am really enjoying it. I’m encouraged to find that I’m already doing some of the things he recommends. I’m learning that I have a lot to… well… learn. There are plenty of good habits to get into and a few bad ones I need to break.

I can’t review a book I’ve yet to read but the concept of ‘the in-between’ is one I’m really interested in. I have struggled to enjoy, to savour, and to learn from ‘the in-between’ stages in life. At times I have resented them or at least felt frustrated by them. There have been so many things that I have hoped for and those hopes have not been realised. I’ve spent years searching for where I’m supposed to be, what I’m supposed to be, who I’m supposed to be.

“What should I be doing with my life?” has been my mantra for so long that I have neglected to look at what I AM doing and how valuable it might be. It’s hard not to look back and mourn the wasted time, and to be honest I still feel things have yet to fall into place. Me and my husband and both in our 40s and still waiting…

I am looking forward to reading the book as I’m hoping it will give me a different view on ‘the in-between’. It would be beyond liberating to feel different about it.

I’ll let you know how I get on.

Five Minute Friday – Broken

On 26/07/201325/07/2014 By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff2 Comments

Our neighbour knocked at the door the other day to borrow our tin-can opener. She then arrived back at the door, slightly red-faced to say that as she gave it the first turn, the whole thing came apart in her hand.

Our shiny new tin opener.
But I’m not so easily replaced!

She literally handed it back to me in about 8 pieces. Little tiny screws, the big handle, the twisty-turny bit (not the technical term I’m sure). She was very apologetic and promised to replace it and apologised again. But obvs I told her it was ok not to worry. Most likely the next time I’d picked it up it would have fallen apart and it was just a ‘time & place’ thing.

But I did ponder it for a while. Because I’ve often felt just one twist or turn away from breaking and no one would know, It’s not something that can be seen. Just like the tin opener!

I’ve felt it many times over the years… that feeling that I just can’t take any more pain or disappointment.
One more turn and I’ll fall apart into not 8 but 80 pieces, and I’ll never be put back again.

And though I’ve felt like that on occasion, almost broken – I’ve never quite fallen apart.

I am bruised,
God literally only knows how I am bruised!
But He has not allowed me to be broken… 🙂

My Guest Blogpost over on markfennell.ie

On 23/07/201323/07/2013 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Guest PostsLeave a comment

Hey folks

I’d love you to drop over to markfennell.ie to read my guest blogpost on online dating.

He has some great posts about relationships, money, intimacy, stress… all through the lens of faith.

Let me know what you think 🙂

auntyamo x

Not sure if I “like” your “endorsement”, you “follow”?

On 22/07/201301/04/2018 By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Random Ramblings7 Comments

Sincere apologies to anyone who has done this for me, and it doesn’t apply to every one – but I have to ask… What is the story with LinkedIn endorsements?

Cos I am actually scarlet when I get one.

Genuinely…

Red face, cringe, stare at feet – moments!

Now I am a girl who is well able to take a compliment.
You shower me with compliments – I’ll dig out the loofah!
But on LinkedIn???? I not sure I get it.

If you’re reading this and you have endorsed me then you might be harrumphing at my lack of gratitude and I can’t blame you for that. But I’d take those compliments more graciously (and willingly) if I really understood what they were about…?

So here’s why I have some scruples…

1. Is it just a case of Quid pro quo?
I read somewhere that recommendations on LinkedIn lose their value if they are reciprocated. Which is a pain cos I have two great recommendations and yes… they are both reciprocated. If endorsements are about mutual back scratching then I don’t see the point.
It’s different from ‘you follow me, I follow you back’ on social media. Twitter and FB are more about fun and social stuff. LI is a professional network!

2. I have been endorsed by people I’ve never met
I’m sounding more and more ungrateful as I go on amn’t I?
But it feels strange to get the thumbs up for a skill by folk I don’t really know. I know people can read the blogs and say they feel I’m good at writing, but there are cases where it’s not as simple as that.

3. I have at least one endorsement for a skill that I KNOW I am not good at
I won’t say which one, in case I cause the endorser (who is probably quite irked with me already!) any further pains. But a couple of times I’ve seen an endorsement and thought – ‘I’m rubbish at that.’

I think it was Rob Parsons of Care for the Family I heard say, something along the lines of, “Remember you’re not as great as you think you are, but you’re not as awful as you think you are either!” I think that’s a healthy attitude and one that is very much in line with Scripture.

Romans 12:3 says, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”

I suppose I’m trying to balance taking a compliment and thinking of myself with ‘sober judgement’. And I can’t tell you why I’m more hung up on LinkedIn endorsements than I am on someone saying of FB or Tw, “Read her stuff, she’s great.”
In fact a few more of those would be nice 🙂

Maybe it’s because it IS a professional network that I’m more iffy about it. I’ve never had a career, just a series of jobs that I’ve loved to a greater or lesser degree. I’m not sure why I even joined LinkedIn to be honest.

Am I alone in this – would love your feedback.
You can be totally honest, say what you like, take me to task, disagree with me, admonish me for being so ungrateful – respond however you’d want; just make sure to click that ‘like’ button below while you’re there… 😀

photo credit: clasesdeperiodismo via photopin cc

Five Minute Friday – Belong

On 19/07/201325/07/2014 By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff11 Comments

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Belong’

I deliberately didn’t go to something recently cos I genuinely didn’t feel I belonged there.
Even though the invitation was open to all who saw it.

I actually was sick with nerves at the thought of being there. And it’s not the first time it has happened. I get terrible ‘event anxiety’. People who know me well and read this will probably be surprised, some might even think I’m making it up.

But I get stressed and nervous and have stupid panic-attack style moments that I don’t fit in, I’m not welcome, I don’t belong. It’s actually been going on for years.

No doubt a psychologist would be able to work out some deep-rooted issue that would explain it. I’m fairly confident that I have a raft of them to choose from. 🙂
Sitting here, I know it’s totally irrational and to some degree silly,
but there you have it.

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