N is for Natural
You know I’m coming to the conclusion, that for all I’ve pondered so far on the subject of being the pastor’s wife (in case you’ve just joined us, that only happened in December 2015 – I’m quite the novice), I actually can only be myself.
I don’t want to make excuses – I heard a sermon recently about how we can’t really go on saying, “well my Dad had a temper, and I have a temper just like him. It’s the way I am, I can’t help it.” I’m not talking about excusing all my weaknesses and faults by blaming my heritage/culture/upbringing/traumatic childhood/not enough of this/too much of that – delete as appropriate. I do believe my faults are my own. What I’m mean is – I am who I am. If I tried to be some other type of PW, it wouldn’t be me. I’d be pretending.
I’ve talked about this a bit already in an earlier post but the reason it’s come up again for me is that we were told the other day that we are loved – a lot – by our church family. I kinda knew; they certainly show it. But to hear it and to have it said so enthusiastically, and willingly… it came as a surprise.
I wanted to say, “Are you sure? Cos this is all you’re getting, and it doesn’t feel like much.” But I didn’t say that, I just swallowed the massive lump in my throat and said, “Thanks.”
I know I’ve lots to learn, and I’ll probably make a pig’s breakfast of things on occasion. Right now however, I’m accepted as I am. I’m allowed to be myself; just natural. That’s an amazing gift.
I just pray that I can do the same for others.