Tag: #atozchallenge

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – N is for Natural

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife1 Comment

NN is for Natural

You know I’m coming to the conclusion, that for all I’ve pondered so far on the subject of being the pastor’s wife (in case you’ve just joined us, that only happened in December 2015 – I’m quite the novice), I actually can only be myself.

I don’t want to make excuses – I heard a sermon recently about how we can’t really go on saying, “well my Dad had a temper, and I have a temper just like him. It’s the way I am, I can’t help it.” I’m not talking about excusing all my weaknesses and faults by blaming my heritage/culture/upbringing/traumatic childhood/not enough of this/too much of that – delete as appropriate. I do believe my faults are my own. What I’m mean is – I am who I am. If I tried to be some other type of PW, it wouldn’t be me. I’d be pretending.

I’ve talked about this a bit already in an earlier post but the reason it’s come up again for me is that we were told the other day that we are loved – a lot – by our church family. I kinda knew; they certainly show it. But to hear it and to have it said so enthusiastically, and willingly… it came as a surprise.

I wanted to say, “Are you sure? Cos this is all you’re getting, and it doesn’t feel like much.” But I didn’t say that, I just swallowed the massive lump in my throat and said, “Thanks.”

I know I’ve lots to learn, and I’ll probably make a pig’s breakfast of things on occasion. Right now however, I’m accepted as I am. I’m allowed to be myself; just natural. That’s an amazing gift.

I just pray that I can do the same for others.

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – M is for Mammy

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Family, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's WifeLeave a comment

MM is for Mammy

OK before we start, I know ‘what if’ is a bit of a waste of time, especially when there is absolutely no way of knowing the answer to the question.

But…

There are two that have been rolling around my head for a while.

  1. What would my mammy of me being a pastor’s wife?
  2. Would I be better at this, if I was a mammy?

See I told you there wasn’t much point in the questions! So why can’t I get them out of my head?

I hope my mam would like what I’m doing now. When I started down this journey of faith, she wasn’t very happy. She was hurt, and worried that I was not on the path that I’d been brought up to travel on. I didn’t react well to her reaction and so, when it came to conversations about faith, there were a few difficult years. Over time I think she realised it was right for me. She got on great with himself and I know she really enjoyed our wedding day; and travelling to Wales to visit us when she did.

I am not sure what she would think of this development. I hope she’d be happy about this part of the journey too.

As for question 2. Well, the problem there is, I always think I’d be better at stuff if I was a mammy. I’m sure I’d be great at getting up early, more organised, more tidy, more patient, more sociable, skinnier, taller, faster, I’d have shiny hair AND shiny floors… See where I’m going with this? pointless.com!

There’s no doubt I’d have a better understanding of family life and the issues parents face, if I was one. I suppose I’m hoping that whatever the gaps in my knowledge and experience, God will fill them. I pray He will give me the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that I may know Him better. (Eph 1:17)

If I have that, then maybe all the stuff I don’t know (what ifs included), won’t matter so much.

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – L is for Late

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife3 Comments

LL is for Late

yes yes I know – this post should have gone up last Thursday.

Sorry it’s late.

Actually, lateness is a subject I could talk about at length (if I had time). I do have a bit of trouble with the ol’ time keeping. I love that I only have to walk down the stairs to church, and just 5 minutes to work (7 minutes if I amble – but I rarely have a whole 2 minutes of excess time. )

I envy people who are sticklers for time and arrive with the perfect amount of minutage to spare. If I do manage to get ready and leave early for an event, I end up the first one there, sitting around on my own. That doesn’t happen a lot! I often go from “Great, I have 20 minutes before it’s time to leave”, to “arrgghhhh I should be gone by now”, and I never know what happened to those interim minutes.

Many folk think it’s rude to be late. If it is, it’s not deliberate. I’ve always been like it. Same with school, college and every job I’ve ever had. I’ve haven’t had an official late attendance record since school but even now, it’s always skin of my teeth stuff.

I get the feeling that I probably shouldn’t be late for things anymore. I’m just not sure how to change…

Must dash, gotta do ‘M’, ‘N’ and O to catch up.  Better late than never eh…?

Or not! 🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – K is for Kyrie eleison

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife2 Comments

KK is for Kyrie eleison

Kyrie is more than just the translated word for mercy. It’s a petition for mercy. The crying out, in the knowledge that you are in need of it. The most powerful sung version of it for me, comes from an unlikely place.

I’m not a big fan of Sinéad O’Connor. I can never decide whether I want to shout at her or hug her, but what ever I think of what she says, I’m constantly blown away by how she sings. She has the most powerful, emotive voice; I believe she’s has one of the greatest and underrated voices of our generation.

Some years ago she sang a Kyrie live on a popular Friday night TV show in Ireland. I was pinned to my chair. To me it seemed she wasn’t just singing it. It really felt like a cry for mercy. I know she’s an artiste and can ‘bring it’ when she needs to. But it looked, felt and sounded 100% genuine to me.

Everyone is in need of mercy; and it turns out that the best way to receive it is to show it. Matthew 5:7 tells us, ‘Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.’

I’ve been worried about how easy it would be, to ‘run out’ of mercy, of grace, of patience… but I’m reminded that as I show mercy to others, mercy will be shown to me. The more I give, the more I’ll receive.

 

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – J is for Jazz-hands

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife4 Comments

JJ is for Jazz-hands

I’m a bit of a performer, I won’t deny it. I come from a family of entertainers. We were raised to sing and have fun together. I know I’m able to make people laugh – whether it’s with me or at me is another thing. 🙂

Being ‘up the front’ in a room full of people does not phase me at all. Even if I hadn’t got a speech prepared, I could still stand up there and make an impression. I get it from my Dad; he was at home on the stage.

Being the Pastor’s wife is an ‘up the front’ role. One of the things I’m pondering is, do I move into ‘entertainer’ mode every time I’m in a room full of people? I know that I do it to some degree, I always have a story to tell. But it’s not my job to entertain. So I’m just wondering if, in the church, I should try to turn that off – or even down a bit.

Problem is, I don’t know if I can. I’ve never been one for sitting on my hands – it’s even harder to do when they are the jazz variety. I’m not even sure that I have to – I’m still working this one out.

Any thoughts?

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – I is for Intercession

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife1 Comment

II is for Intercession

Interceding is a particular type of prayer. Dictionary.com says it is “a prayer to God on behalf of another.”

I know I need to pray for myself, but I’ve found more and more that my prayers are moving outward.
And NO, do not say “well done” or give me a slap on the back! It should have happened years ago!

I’ve had to get organised with prayer as the list got very long, very quick. I am stunned at how much more satisfying it is to concentrate on praying for others. I’ve always done it to some degree, but the focus was mostly on my situation and sadness. That has changed now. It had to.

Of course, when I stopped concentrating on praying for myself an amazing thing happened. I’m constantly being prayed for!

Now I know this has long been the case. If you’re reading this and have been praying for me, don’t think I’m only noticing now. I know I’ve been surrounded by prayers by many people for many years. But I get a lot of prayer while I’m ‘in the room’ now.

Actually when I first noticed it, I was embarrassed, I felt bad; selfish in a way. I said that to himself and he reminded me how much we need those prayers. They are part of the expression of love that is shown to us. No matter how long the prayer list, how bad some of the situations, we are never left out.

I’m so grateful for those prayers and I hope they never stop. God (literally) knows I needs them! 🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – H is for Home

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife3 Comments

HH is for Home

As I write this, a gang of family members are gathering to celebrate my Dad’s birthday. He has been gone for just over 2 years, but tonight in his local they’ll raise a glass to him and raise their voices in song. He and my mam, who’s been gone for 11 years now, left us a great legacy of spending time and singing songs together.

I don’t get homesick these days, but today is one of those days that I’d like to be at home.

I suffered terribly with homesickness when I lived in the UK before. Nothing against Wales or my friends and family here – I just missed Ireland, and my own lot. I’m so thankful to God that when He called me back to Wales, He made it an easy transition. Communication is easier too. Whatsapp is a very cool app. It’s been very handy to be able to be in contact with all 7 siblings (yes 7) in one go. Sometimes the conversations are bonkers, and I love it.

After a few weeks of tripping over boxes and trying to find space for stuff, we’re just about unpacked in our new home; one we believe will be a long term one. We’ve moved a number of times in the 17 years that we’ve known each other. This is our 8th ‘home’ in 16 years of marriage, that’s not counting moving to temporary accommodation on 5 different occasions. I didn’t leave my parents house until I was 27. Boy did I make up for it! 😀

“So what has all this got to do with being a Pastor’s Wife?” I hear you ask.

Actually, I’m asking that question myself. 🙂

I think it’s that this season of my life has brought about a (hopefully) permanent/long term home. It’s been years since we’ve felt settled; years since we’ve felt we can really unpack… everything.

There are perks to this job, which we’ll deal with in ‘P’ on the 19th – our home is definitely one of them. 🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – G is for Gate

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife1 Comment

GG is for Gate

Most days, as I leave to go to work, I have to unlock the church carpark gate to get out. There’s a fiddly padlock that drives me bonkers, but I wrestle with it  and once I’ve sorted it, I’m on my way.

We live in the flat above the church. Opening the gate reminds me that even though it is our home, it’s not wholly ours and we have a responsibility to look after it. Someday (hopefully some far away day) someone else will live here, we hold it in trust for them.

Sometimes the gate troubles me. We have to lock it at times; for security and to make sure the car park is not used as a public one.  We have to keep the church locked too. Even I can remember a day when churches were left open. Those days are well gone.

There are a number of ‘gates’ in the Bible; gates of righteousness, gates of death, temple gates, the gates of hell, North, South, East and West gates, and lots and lots of city gates. City gates helped to fortify a city. Along with the walls of a city, they kept people safe within and helped to keep enemies out. There are those who don’t like Christians and churches; but I don’t want our gates to keep anyone out who would like to enter them.

I sometimes have ‘security’ fears and was encouraged and reminded recently by one of our elders who said that it is not locks and bolts that protect us, but God. Now he was not saying , ‘don’t lock your doors’; he was just saying that we should trust God. I want God to teach me to be a wise, generous and fearless gatekeeper. The church building and gates may be locked at times, but I pray our church, our church family, will always be open and welcoming.

When I’m on the early shift, I admit I don’t ponder such deep thoughts. I’ve only enough brain function to get myself to work. But for as long as we’re here, I hope that gate will help keep me accountable to a few things.

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – F is for Fellowship

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife6 Comments

FF is for Fellowship

Every so often I meet up with a small group of women who are married to pastors. We’re all very different. Some have been PWs for a number of years. Others are quite new to it. I’m the total newbie. Our churches aren’t the same either. Different types and sizes.  But for the motley crew we are – we share an understanding of the challenge, responsibility and blessings of the role we’re in.

We coffee, chat and pray together. We’re also going through a book together; The Minister’s Wife by Ann Benton. I shuddered a little at the thought of going through a book. But it’s actually great. Down to earth, realistic, encouraging and challenging. Just what I need.

It’s been great to be able to share stuff and hear about other situations. We pray for our churches, we pray for each other; and we pray for our husbands, with that unique insight we have in their lives and ministry.

There’s something special about fellowship with people who are in a similar boat.

I thank God for these ladies 🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – E is for Excitement, Encouragement & Extraordinary!

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife4 Comments

EE is for Excited, Encouraged & Extraordinary

Now yesterday you might have thought me a bit negative; but I want to be honest in these posts. It was a ‘real’ post. I hope you get that. And here’s another real one for you. I am so excited. I am so encouraged. I am so… thrilled at the extraordinary thing that God has done.

Our church family prayed for a Pastor. They hadn’t had one for 20 years. And we were the answer to those prayers. You can read more about that unbelievable story here. Already there are great encouragements and new people coming to church; coming to God. Not our doing, we’re blessed to be reaping the  harvest that others planted for.

When it comes to extraordinary – well, the Gospel of Christ just blows my mind! To work together with himself and others in sharing God’s love & grace is a blast. I’m still not sure how good I’ll be at this – but I need to remember how privileged I am to get to do it.
Do me a favour and don’t let me forget that.  🙂

I’m v late posting today, so I’ll leave it there. Tomorrow is ‘F’ for Fellowship. Until then x