Flash Fiction from @georgietennan2


It’s the turn of Georgina Tennant to share some flash fiction.  Georgie is one of those people I felt I knew cos of the magic of social media. Meeting her f2f recently was a double blessing. I’m delighted have have her on my blog.

Later today she’ll be sharing a Sunday story, but for now we’re delving into a jam jar 🙂 You can read more of her work on her blog, and follow her on Twitter @georgietenna2

 

The Last Jar of Jam
by Georgina Tennant

It had always felt as though the jam jars had a life-cycle of their own – a perpetual circle of being: Nan would spend hours in her kitchen, humming as she stirred bubbling saucepans and filled jars by the dozen, lined up like soldiers, with matching red and white berets, on the kitchen side board.

My boys (her great-grandsons) would charm and beg more jars from her each time we visited, hastily making the desired exchange: a clanking bag of empty jars, for two fresh jars, re-filled. They craved the jars’ sticky contents on warm buttered toast, dismissing the very idea of ‘shop-bought jam’ with utterances of contempt and disgust.

“Blackcurrant, July 2018,” the label on this one reads, in Nan’s spidery handwriting. I imagine her, on the day it was created, weaving her magic in the kitchen – stirring, tasting, checking the temperature and pouring the boiling, oozing liquid into the jars to cool.

If the jam wasn’t poured into jars, it was spread thickly between fluffy layers of sponge cake, baked especially for our too-infrequent visits. There was always a cake hunt; it was always hidden in the microwave. The children knew that, but still the game was on, the hunt never got old; eyes sparkled across generations.

Gramps would pretend the cake was only for him, feigning horror when Nan offered it, with milky tea, to the boys, or suggested we take the rest home. Tea and cake consumed and laden with even more jam, we would say our goodbyes and set off home. In recent months, only one goodbye was needed, since Gramps’ days of tea-drinking and jam-filled cake-eating had come to an abrupt end.

I wonder if I would have treated the moment with more gravitas, relished it longer, if I’d have realised, that day, that it was the last time jam would pass from Great Nan to great-grandsons. But these moments don’t come with warnings to linger, do they?

And yet, time passes, stealing from us that which felt immortal, unending.

Nan can’t make jam or cake any more, now. In the care home, the staff can’t work out why she curls her lip at the packets of jam, lined up on the breakfast table, uniform and tasteless in their gaudy, plastic packaging. But we know that she remembers how it felt to pop the lid off one of those beautiful red and white-topped glass jars, to taste the fruits of her labour on bread freshly sliced, to offer it, in cake, to excited children or a weary husband.

Robbed of her speech so suddenly, she can’t tell them any of this, but we know. We tell her how much we still love her jam, which we have to take, now, from the cupboards of her empty house, and how the taste will always linger in our mouths, long after the last drop is drained from the last jar.

The empty jars sit on my windowsill, lined up like soldiers with red and white berets. I can’t yet condemn them to the recycling, can’t quite bring myself to face the truth that the perpetual cycle is broken.

“Blackcurrant, July 2018,” declares the last remnants of Nan’s handwriting, stuck to the lid. The hot tears well up in my eyes. I can’t face the thought of reaching the bottom of this particular jar. The finality aches in my throat.

I know, when I do reach it, that the final drop will not taste sweet at all.

Some micro fiction from @hortonious101 for NFFD


Please join me in welcoming Martin Horton to the blog. Later today Martin will share a bubbly story, but for now, here is some micro fiction.

If you’d like to catch up more of with Martin’s writing, you can visit his blog Hortonious101. Or follow him on Twitter @Hortonious101

Forgetting
by Martin Horton

You were six when you first came to play below my branches.
I used to be your favourite place to escape to.
You’d come here, your heart would open and tales fall out.

But you grew up and forgot.

Forgot me, in your dictionary.

I will never forget you.

Willow x

I’m back! for National Flash Fiction Day


It’s been over a month since my last post and if you read it, you’ll know I got a bit disillusioned with the whole blogging thing, mainly as yet again, I failed to complete the AtoZ Blogging Challenge. I suppose I have to come to terms with the fact that daily blogging is just not something I can do anymore. That doesn’t mean I should quit blogging, and I’m grateful to those of you who have chipped in and said I shouldn’t. I also understand the plight of those who shared that they were feeling the same as I was.

I’ve decided to keep going and amongst other musings, and news, I will be continuing my series in Isaiah. But not before we have a bit of fun with National Flash Fiction Day. I had a fabulous weekend at the ACW Odyssey Weekend and met some ACW folk I’d only known via FB and Twitter, it was also great to be reunited with some old friends. I’ll post about that weekend another time, but for today I’ll be sharing some flash fiction of my own, and some ACW flash fiction too.

Hope you enjoy it… here’s the first offering, from er… me 🙂

 

Foreclosure
by Annmarie Miles

 

Magda arrived in the middle of her story. The beginning was at the gate or down the street, not that it mattered. She struggled through the door, lifting one armful of shopping up and over, sending it ahead of herself. She followed it, bringing another bouquet of bags behind her.

“And the stupid bus driver wouldn’t accept my return ticket, so I had to pay twice.”

I eyed the bags and opened my mouth to complain but what came out was, “Cuppa?” 
“Oh yea, I’m gasping.” Magda walked past me, dropping the bags as she entered the kitchen. “There’s my girl,” she said to her daughter who was sitting in a high chair, sucking on a piece of toast.  

I tripped over a bag and followed her to the kitchen.

“Soooooo, I have something to ask you,” Magda said in her sweet voice. I grabbed a mug and resisted the urge to slam the cupboard shut. 
“I know I said I’d give you what I owe you today, but can you wait until next week?” Magda was eating the baby’s toast. “I had to get Shania a few bits, and I wanted to get stuff for her party. It just adds up. I can’t believe how much nappies cost. That guy will be banging on the door for his £35 and if I don’t give it to him tomorrow, he’s saying he’ll take the telly. So next week, definitely, alright? And I’ll give you something for having Shania again today. I know I said an hour, I can’t believe it took me two hours just to get to town and back.”
“Four,” I said, handing her a mug of tea.
“What?”
“You were gone almost four hours.”
“No way. Four hours? I can’t believe that. Time just disappears.  But wait ‘til you see what I got Shania. EVERYTHING is on sale.”
I walked back to get my tea and glanced at the bags in the hall. 

“Magda,” I said gripping my cup, “we need to talk about this.”
“Yeah, definitely. Talk about what?” Magda was playing peek-a-boo with Shania. 
“I need…”
“Hang on, my phone’s ringing.” Magda rummaged in her handbag. “Just give me a sec. Sorry. Hello? Oh yeah, hi. Really? Brilliant, I didn’t think you’d still have it. And how much? Great. When can I collect it? Definitely, I’ll see you then.” Magda threw her phone back in her bag. 
“Remember that dolls’ house I wanted for Shania?” she said, putting her coat on. “The one I saw online with the shiny red door? Well the guy still has it, but I have to pay him today. I’m going to meet him now. I can’t believe it. She is going to love it. Mammy has the best birthday present for her best girl.” She kissed Shania and ran passed me. “I’ll be an hour tops ok?”

She ran to the front door and as she closed it behind her shouted, “Thanks Mam, I owe you.”

Flogging :(


Flogging – my own term for ‘failing to blog’.

For the second year in a row, I failed to complete the A to Z Blogging Challenge. It frustrates me that I didn’t finish the challenge. I have always loved the challenge but I don’t think I will try it again next year, unless my life is less hectic.

It has made me think about blogging in general. I wonder should I give it up. There’s lots of talk about ‘the end of blogging.’ How anything longer than a Facebook post is pointless, because no one reads online. So I’m wondering… do I continue blogging, or do I throw in the towel? I’m not looking for you to answer that question. I’m just pondering the value of what I do online.

So… I may disappear for while… to work on editing 3 different projects I have on the go.

If you’re a blogger and or a reader of blogs, I’d love you to hear your thoughts on the whole blogging thing. Is it done? Or am I just done with it?

If you want to catch up on Facebook or Twitter, come find me by searching for amowriting 🙂

Q is for Questions


When I was writing the first draft of my book, I asked ‘social media’ for questions. Mainly to help me think of elements of weight loss that I hadn’t thought of. I got more than I bargained for, and I believe they’ve really added to the book. Here is just a small sample of the questions, and my rough answers.

 

How many times did you fail before you succeeded?

I joined Unislim for the first time when I was about 12 I think, maybe 14, but over 30 years ago. I’ve been on and off diets to different degrees all of that time, but how many times I actually properly tried to lose weight???? Let’s see…

In the mid 90s I lost somewhere between 2-3 stone. Got down to just over 17 stone.

Started again in 2001. I was 20 stone, I lost 3 stone.

Started again in 2008, I was 21 stone. Lost just under 3 stone.

Started again in 2012, I was just under 24 stone. Faffed about for a year and a half. Was down 1.5 stone at one point.

Started again in 2015, I was just over 23 stone, as I write I have lost 5 stone and 2lb. My first goal is to get back to where I was in the mid 90s. Just over 17 stone.

So tried and failed 4 times, before succeeding this time.

 

What was the one thing that kept you going?

I’m not one for sticking pictures of ‘fat me’ on the fridge, there was however a photo that shocked me. It was of a particular special moment and I was horrified when I saw it. It was fully side on and I had no idea that I was so big. Really, I didn’t realise. I hadn’t looked at myself for a long time. I tried to crop it, I tried to edit it, I wanted to delete it. It was a precious moment in my life and a significant memory, but all I wanted to do was delete it. Forever.

It has become the photo that keeps me going. But I don’t need to see it. The image is imprinted in my brain. I can’t ever let that happen again. Even if I put on weight again, I can’t shut the door to the discussion. It must be something I can always address if I need to.

What made you decide to lose weight, to begin with? Health?

This time around, it was health, but not because I was ill.  I was worried about dying, but only because I didn’t want to leave Richard alone to do the work he is doing. I believe what the Bible says, that to live is Christ and to die is gain – were I to die, I’d be with Jesus. But I felt that I had more to do, and I wanted to be able to do more. I wanted to be able to support Richard practically and work with him; I knew I couldn’t in the state I was in. I’ve never had trouble with blood sugar or blood pressure. It was only going to be a matter of time though. I’m not sure how I got away with being as healthy as I am, after carrying so much weight for so long.

How do you feel about people who are not overweight but constantly complain that they need to lose weight?

I used to want to throw something at people, who I felt, didn’t need to lose weight. Over time I have come to think a bit differently about that. Mainly because I thought if they weren’t my size, then they didn’t need to lose weight at all. That they were just trying to point out how skinny they were, and compare little old them to big old me.

My short term goal is to lose 6 stone. I’m on my way to that. My goal after that is to lose another 4 stone. I would be 13 stone at that stage. If I did that I would be over the moon. I mean jumping up and down (cos I’d be able to) with great joy and delight.  But I know people who are 13 stone who are desperate to lose weight. Absolutely out of their minds with worry about it. Stressed and feeling fat! At 13 stone I’d be dancing, others are mourning. So, just as much as I would like people to understand where I’m coming from; how hard it is for me… I need to understand where others are at too.

Food became my enemy and my comforter. I still struggle with this at times. I am learning to have a healthy relationship with food. I would love for you to talk about that in the book. What is a healthy relationship with food?

I think it might be slightly different for different people. To use the analogy of an alcoholic – having a bottle of wine in my house wouldn’t cost me a thought, but it would be tempting to an alcoholic and so they should not have it in their homes. I’d be the same with donuts or Haribo candies. I’m best not having them in my home. I can’t resist them.

I treat food now like someone I love but don’t really trust. I ‘eye’ some food with suspicion. Will it do me any good? Will it lead me into temptation? If I can’t only have one of those, I’d be better having none. I wonder if the only way I’ll stay on track will be to maintain a dysfunctional relationship with food. 😊

In short, know your enemy. If you know your downfall is ice cream, don’t buy the big tub that is on offer, then try to kid yourself you’ll be able to have only a teensy bit at a time. If you want to, buy a small one serving tub and enjoy every spoonful. Be honest with yourself, be prepared for the hungry moments and make every meal & snack a choice that you are in control of, then go and enjoy every mouthful of it, guilt free.

Did you believe that you could do it?

For a long time, no. When I started this time, I decided to believe I could. I could choose the next meal. Choose to go for a walk. I decided to make every next choice a good one. I didn’t really believe in much more than that. It was too difficult to see beyond the next choice. There’s not many silver linings to being almost 24 stone, but one was that I saw a lot of change quite quickly. Now that it has slowed down, I have to remind myself that I can do it.

O is for that ‘orrible word


The word obesity is one of the most upsetting words for me to hear, say or write. When I started my weight loss journey, I was off the standard BMI charts. Having lost 5 stone, I’m still well within the morbidly obese category. I will have to lose another 6 stone! to just be obese, and a further 2 stone after that, to be considered ‘normal’.

When the obesity crisis is discussed on TV it makes me cringe. I’m not saying it’s untrue, or unimportant, it just reminds me that it’s partly my fault. For a long time, I ate hurriedly in private because of the shame I felt. At times, I still feel guilty when I’m eating. To be fat, is the new smoking. The attitude to obesity reinforces all of that for me.

I firmly believe that extremely overweight people are not getting enough help. My obsession with food is unnatural and unhealthy and I hold my hands up and say that I did little to help myself for many years, but when I see the issue discussed in the media, I feel overeaters get more judgement than support.

It can be quite expensive to eat properly, which is another thing that needs to change. I’m not sure how effective the sugar tax will be. Rather than make the bad stuff dearer, how about making the good stuff cheaper. Fresh produce, healthy meats and particularly fresh fish can be very expensive. Bags of frozen processed food are still much cheaper and last longer.

I don’t know what to do to change any of that. I just feel the word obesity has changed from a description to a label – and it causes me great discomfort. Officially I’ll be in that category for some time, when I look at how I’ve changed, I do everything I can to shake it off. 🙂

N is for Nuts


After a busy week, I’m still playing catch up on my AtoZ posts on the theme of being a Clumsy Carb Cutter .

Nuts are one of my favourite things to eat. I have to be very careful of them as I find it really easy to over indulge. In a moderate amount, they are a great low carb snack. My world would be a sad place if I developed an intolerance to nuts, the way I have with lactose.

As I mentioned before, I use ground almonds for baking. I bought peanut flour by mistake a few weeks ago, so I’ve been using that mixed with almond flour in some of the cookies. It has a few more carbs per 100g, but really tasty, if you love the peanut taste.

I buy bags of mixed raw nuts from Lidl as they are the best value. On the rare occasion I eat cereal, I always throw some in, or I just eat them on their own for a snack. As I mentioned, moderation is key in eating nuts. They are great for the low carb/high fat diet. They are high in fibre and contain a wide variety of nutrients, but also high in calories. So to get the best benefit from them,  just a handful/half a cup at a time.   🙂

(catching up) M is for Mammy


I’m running late this week, so will be playing catch up this evening.

M is for Mammy, as in my mother.

Mammy regularly tried to encourage me to lose weight. I know she was very worried about my health. When I was in the zone and trying hard, she did everything to help me. She bought and cooked all the food that would make it easier for me to lose weight. Dieting was a regular part of my life from the time I was about 12. I’ve been on and off diets ever since.

my lovely mammy
my lovely mammy

I talk about it in the book I’m writing, how I wish I’d stayed happy with myself. All I ever did after a diet was get bigger. I’d have been better off staying as I was. I never saw watching what I ate as a permanent way of life. It was a stop-gap to make myself feel better and get my mother and others off my back.

 

I regret not sticking with it, not just because it’s harder now, but because my mammy is not here to see the long-term changes in me. I’m grateful for all her nagging, all her shopping and cooking, all her encouragement and worry. I only wish I’d done it right back then. But I can’t go back; I can only go forward and dwell on the joy it gives me and would give her, to see me lose more weight and get stronger and healthier.

 

A telling of Matthew 21


As it is a non AtoZ day, and it’s Palm Sunday, I wanted to share what we heard in church this evening. Our preacher did something a little different and told the story of Matthew 21 from the point of view of one of the pilgrims to Jerusalem. I just had to share it. Hope you enjoy.

Rumours on the way – a telling of Matthew  21

Living in a village on the Jericho Road has its advantages… especially when it’s time for the major festivals in Jerusalem. Our journey into the city was a matter of a few hours unlike our fellow pilgrims who would travel for a few days, or in some instances, a few weeks.

For a couple of days the numbers of pilgrims gradually increased… and we got used to hearing the singing of the psalms of ascent, and soon our voices would be joining theirs. Joining them, we saw that the Jericho road to Jerusalem was teaming with pilgrims. The crowd greeted us warmly… their joy and enthusiasm in anticipation of this great feast at the beginning of our new year was inspiring and infectious. Some expressed feigned jealousy that we lived so close to the city of god; and I received a couple of very tempting offers for my house that I think were serious!

Then as someone began singing, we joined the singing of the ancient psalms that lifted our spirits and confirmed our faith and oneness with God. The voices of the men and women–young and old– and the voices of the children were carried on the warm breezes. When the singing paused, the conversations were not about the latest atrocity committed by the roman soldiers… or the taxes levied the romans and collected by our weasel brothers, who got exorbitantly rich and fat on their profiteering scam… nor was the talk about the recent spate of robberies along this most notorious of all roads… or the political manoeuvrings among the pharisees toward the zealots… No, many were talking about what had happened in Jericho. The name of Jesus was on the lips of the people. His identity was being discussed and debated. All of us had heard tales of miracles and profound teaching, yet none of us would recognize him as we’d never had seen him.

Until today that is…

There were a few in the crowd who claim were just yards away from him when he healed a beggar, known locally us as Blind Bartimaeus. And then they told us about Zacchaeus. There can’t be many who haven’t been fleeced by that apology for a human being; the most despised and disreputable man in all of Jericho. Even in my village, my own family suffered badly because of him! He was so mean he would have taken someone’s last breath. I had more affection for Pilate!

So, you can imagine my amazement when I heard that he had given almost everything he had away after meeting Jesus. Apparently, we were only about an hour behind him. We’d heard that he was in a large group from Jericho including the newly sighted Bartimaeus.

Others by now were joining us, either to listen or to give their own perspective on what had happened. In no time at all we were nearer to Jerusalem, walking up the one side of the Mount of Olives. We knew once we’d reached the top we’d catch out first real glimpse of the city; any aches and pains I had been feeling were disappearing fast. My heart rate was increasing, not out of exertion but excitement. I seemed to be one in a sea of people as we walked through Bethany when our conversation took on another topic…

Why were there palm fronds everywhere? And discarded cloaks scattered on the ground, in doorways and low walls? For the second time today, I was amazed. One of the locals said that Jesus had borrowed his donkey to ride the short distance to the city… adding that in a seemingly spontaneous reaction, the people carpeted the road with whatever was to hand… palm leaves and cloaks, and shouting,

“Hosanna to the Son of David, blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.”

I came out in a cold sweat.

How often had my father and his father told me that one day, one day, Zechariah’s prophecy would come true. It would happen on a day when no one expected it; but that was no excuse for not anticipating it or longing for it.

Walking on, I racked my brain to remember what they’d said, while at the same time pushing away any regret and self-recrimination. I know they had discussed it with others in the temple courts here in Jerusalem, and I seem to recall the names Simeon and Anna. But that was more than 30 years ago. They like my father and grandfather have long since died so I can’t confirm what they’d said. I was annoyed with myself that I hadn’t listened more carefully. I’d thought them senile old men who in their dotage who were losing the plot, but hadn’t my father said that Simeon claimed to have nursed the messiah… and had told his friends that his time to die was near as he had seen the salvation of god as God had promised he would?

My mind was lost in the past that I don’t remember anything of the walk through the city gates and into the temple courts. It was only when I almost fell over one of the money-chargers who was on all fours picking up the temple coins and roman pennies that I came back to my senses. I couldn’t believe my eyes… for the third time today I was amazed.

The busyness of the temple had been replaced with hostility and resentment. Sacrifices seemed to have slowed to an almost stand-still as priests and worshippers, traders and money-changers discussed the events of the afternoon with raised and angry voices. Jesus had turned over the tables of the sellers of doves and the money changers in what some were calling a fit of pique! He had quoted Jeremiah at them accusing them of making God’s house of prayer into a den of robbers. They said that the authorities either would not or could not stop him. The priests were utterly scathing of him, totally unimpressed by him, summed up by one who said…

“As cool as you like he healed the lame and blind while accepting the praises of some children who were shouting ‘Hosanna to the Son of David,’ “

I’m writing this at my cousin Malachi’s who I’m staying with during Passover Week, he lives on the Via Dolorosa. Like many others, we’ve discussed all this at length. He’s of the opinion, based on unsubstantiated rumours, that this Jesus well known to the Pharisees and chief priests and hated by them with a passion, is heading for big, big trouble. I was with him when he pointed out Jesus, heading out of the city toward Bethany, where we think he has some very close friends and supporters. He looked composed and calm; tranquil, despite everything that’s gone on. Yet I just sensed he had something on his mind. Something significant, I’ve no idea what it might be, but what could be more significant for him this year than celebrating Passover with his disciples?

Written by Rev Howard Jones

 

pic 1 – photo credit: Our Big Escape Jerusalem Panorama from Citadel via photopin (license)

pic 2 – photo credit: Leonard J Matthews palm sunday via photopin (license)

L is for Low Carb Buddy


 Short post today as I’m away with family this weekend, but I wanted to give a shout out to Sam at Low Carb Buddy (LCB).

Sam is based in Bristol, UK and runs a Facebook page, an interactive group, a Pinterest page (with some fabulous recipes), and for a small fee, runs weekly interactive group chat sessions.

I’ve benefited greatly from my connection with LCB. Sam is very encouraging and always has great ideas and suggestions. She herself is on a Keto diet. Make sure to check her out on some of the links above.

Just to say, I don’t get anything from plugging her page/biz other than the satisfaction of cheering on someone who has really helped this ‘Clumsy Carb Cutter’ 🙂