The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – H is for Home

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife3 Comments

HH is for Home

As I write this, a gang of family members are gathering to celebrate my Dad’s birthday. He has been gone for just over 2 years, but tonight in his local they’ll raise a glass to him and raise their voices in song. He and my mam, who’s been gone for 11 years now, left us a great legacy of spending time and singing songs together.

I don’t get homesick these days, but today is one of those days that I’d like to be at home.

I suffered terribly with homesickness when I lived in the UK before. Nothing against Wales or my friends and family here – I just missed Ireland, and my own lot. I’m so thankful to God that when He called me back to Wales, He made it an easy transition. Communication is easier too. Whatsapp is a very cool app. It’s been very handy to be able to be in contact with all 7 siblings (yes 7) in one go. Sometimes the conversations are bonkers, and I love it.

After a few weeks of tripping over boxes and trying to find space for stuff, we’re just about unpacked in our new home; one we believe will be a long term one. We’ve moved a number of times in the 17 years that we’ve known each other. This is our 8th ‘home’ in 16 years of marriage, that’s not counting moving to temporary accommodation on 5 different occasions. I didn’t leave my parents house until I was 27. Boy did I make up for it! 😀

“So what has all this got to do with being a Pastor’s Wife?” I hear you ask.

Actually, I’m asking that question myself. 🙂

I think it’s that this season of my life has brought about a (hopefully) permanent/long term home. It’s been years since we’ve felt settled; years since we’ve felt we can really unpack… everything.

There are perks to this job, which we’ll deal with in ‘P’ on the 19th – our home is definitely one of them. 🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – G is for Gate

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife1 Comment

GG is for Gate

Most days, as I leave to go to work, I have to unlock the church carpark gate to get out. There’s a fiddly padlock that drives me bonkers, but I wrestle with it  and once I’ve sorted it, I’m on my way.

We live in the flat above the church. Opening the gate reminds me that even though it is our home, it’s not wholly ours and we have a responsibility to look after it. Someday (hopefully some far away day) someone else will live here, we hold it in trust for them.

Sometimes the gate troubles me. We have to lock it at times; for security and to make sure the car park is not used as a public one.  We have to keep the church locked too. Even I can remember a day when churches were left open. Those days are well gone.

There are a number of ‘gates’ in the Bible; gates of righteousness, gates of death, temple gates, the gates of hell, North, South, East and West gates, and lots and lots of city gates. City gates helped to fortify a city. Along with the walls of a city, they kept people safe within and helped to keep enemies out. There are those who don’t like Christians and churches; but I don’t want our gates to keep anyone out who would like to enter them.

I sometimes have ‘security’ fears and was encouraged and reminded recently by one of our elders who said that it is not locks and bolts that protect us, but God. Now he was not saying , ‘don’t lock your doors’; he was just saying that we should trust God. I want God to teach me to be a wise, generous and fearless gatekeeper. The church building and gates may be locked at times, but I pray our church, our church family, will always be open and welcoming.

When I’m on the early shift, I admit I don’t ponder such deep thoughts. I’ve only enough brain function to get myself to work. But for as long as we’re here, I hope that gate will help keep me accountable to a few things.

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – F is for Fellowship

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife6 Comments

FF is for Fellowship

Every so often I meet up with a small group of women who are married to pastors. We’re all very different. Some have been PWs for a number of years. Others are quite new to it. I’m the total newbie. Our churches aren’t the same either. Different types and sizes.  But for the motley crew we are – we share an understanding of the challenge, responsibility and blessings of the role we’re in.

We coffee, chat and pray together. We’re also going through a book together; The Minister’s Wife by Ann Benton. I shuddered a little at the thought of going through a book. But it’s actually great. Down to earth, realistic, encouraging and challenging. Just what I need.

It’s been great to be able to share stuff and hear about other situations. We pray for our churches, we pray for each other; and we pray for our husbands, with that unique insight we have in their lives and ministry.

There’s something special about fellowship with people who are in a similar boat.

I thank God for these ladies 🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – E is for Excitement, Encouragement & Extraordinary!

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife4 Comments

EE is for Excited, Encouraged & Extraordinary

Now yesterday you might have thought me a bit negative; but I want to be honest in these posts. It was a ‘real’ post. I hope you get that. And here’s another real one for you. I am so excited. I am so encouraged. I am so… thrilled at the extraordinary thing that God has done.

Our church family prayed for a Pastor. They hadn’t had one for 20 years. And we were the answer to those prayers. You can read more about that unbelievable story here. Already there are great encouragements and new people coming to church; coming to God. Not our doing, we’re blessed to be reaping the  harvest that others planted for.

When it comes to extraordinary – well, the Gospel of Christ just blows my mind! To work together with himself and others in sharing God’s love & grace is a blast. I’m still not sure how good I’ll be at this – but I need to remember how privileged I am to get to do it.
Do me a favour and don’t let me forget that.  🙂

I’m v late posting today, so I’ll leave it there. Tomorrow is ‘F’ for Fellowship. Until then x

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – D is for Disappointment

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife3 Comments

DD is for Disappointment

This is probably my greatest fear in this role; that I will let everyone down. The folk in church, the hubby, the oodles of people who are praying for us, and God himself.

I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

But I probably will…

  1. Cos I human and therefore, imperfect
  2. Cos people will have expectations and I may not be able to meet them all
  3. Cos I regularly disappoint myself, I can’t see that changing.

Not sure I can do anything to avoid the desperate Ds, all I can do is do my bestest and keep praying.

Today’s post is short.

Hope you’re not too disappointed. 🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – C is for Calling

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife4 Comments

C 2016C is for Calling

I have a theory about this calling thing.
I’m not convinced that the call is the same for both spouses when it comes to church leadership.

I think the calling of a pastor is so much more clear-cut. Often there’s a contract or some form of  official agreement, there’s a title and a role with (fairly) explicit responsibilities. For the other half, it’s not the always the case.

All marriages, churches and callings are different. So I can only speak for myself. I’m not sure I feel called to be a Pastor’s wife, I’m not even sure if there is such a calling. The only calling I’ve even been sure of (apart from God), is my calling to Rich.

Now before anyone sets their hair on fire. I’m not barefoot and tied to my kitchen sink. The beloved is on constant bin, dishwasher and grocery shopping duty. And yesterday, as I was in agony with a stupid shoulder injury, the pastor preached two sermons and  insisted on sorting lunch and tea. Regardless of his current title, I’m his priority. So this is not a 1950s ‘pipe and slippers’ situation.

There are things I can do. I get the opportunity to use my gifts regularly. I get to sing and talk and lead services; and make cake! (yummy poppyseed cake). Maybe part of my role is to lead by example and use the gifts God has given me, in the church.

As far as a ‘ministry calling’ goes, the only one I’m really sure of is the one to help him to be the best that he can be. Sometimes it’s about practical stuff, sometimes it’s about keeping the knuckle-head stuff out of his way. Most times, it’s standing back, and making room for him to read, study, prepare etc. After that, I’m not really sure what my calling is.

I have an unfulfilled maternal instinct that could run riot if I let it 🙂 Who knows where it might get a chance to flourish. I’m part of a great team of leaders and their other halves; and it’s a joy to work with them.

I’m know I am where I’m supposed to be and ultimately, I am called to follow Christ.

Surely there is no higher calling.  🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – B is for Balance

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife8 Comments

B 2016B is for Balance

One of the things I’m trying to work out at the moment is how to manage my time. We don’t have children, so we’ve only really had to worry about ourselves and each other. Life is busy for most people I think. I’m trying to be a writer, I work, I have a home and a husband to keep in some semblance of order. Though I have to say, he does his fair share and more.

But now… well, things are different now.

A new group of people has been added into our mix. There are others we have to consider when thinking about how we spend our week.

When Rich started working for the church, I was commuting to a full-time job; out of the house for 9-10 hours a day. Most of my shifts were late finishing and I worked Saturdays every so often. I had no idea how I would manage. I knew I’d need to be around more. I WANTED to be around more, but did not know how I’d do it. Immediately I started to look for more local, part-time work. In a flash, I had a part-time job, a short walk from the church. It was amazing, and in a later post I’ll tell you the full story.

So now, it’s easier to sort my time out, but… I’m still learning the balance.

The wife
The PASTOR’S wife (she’s a whole other wife!)
The domestic goddess (hey! stop laughing!)
The 9-5 worker (well, 9-2 😀 )
The writer (not recently, but she’s back now)
The child of God (mmm have a feeling that should be higher up the list…)
The musician (practise has been a bit thin on the ground)

Who and what gets my time first? OK I know there are a couple of obvious answers in there, but how do i balance it all? That’s my thing at the moment; learning what my priorities are. And I think it all ties in to another issue that’s rolling about my mind at the moment.

Who’s calling is this?

Richard is employed by the church. I’m not. But surely we’re both called aren’t we? This isn’t just his thing…. C is for calling – so let’s do that one next.

No post tomorrow as is the tradition of A to Z (Sundays off), so I’ll see you Monday x

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – A is for Amen

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife4 Comments

Thank you so much for the lovely welcome back I’ve had. You don’t know what it means to know that you are still here even after my months of absence. Thanks for the messages and tweets etc, to hail my return. I’m blessed.

And so here we to with 2016’s A to Z Challenge and my theme this year – The A to Z of the Pastor’s wife 🙂

A 2016

A is for Amen

‘So be it.’ That’s the translation of the word Amen.
‘Truth’ is another way it can be described.

After years of doubting it would happen, and I confess in some small way being reluctant for it to happen, I came to the point of saying “so be it” – AMEN, the beloved is gong to be a Pastor.

We were married 7 years before we had any notion of a calling to this type of ministry. I was 30 something, he was 40 something. We had just relocated to Ireland, I was happy to be home, but struggling emotionally. In the midst of all that, came a call to action.

My stock answer to the raised eyebrows of perplexity… “Believe me, there’s no one more surprised than we are.”

But when it settled, when it grew on me, I felt peace about it. That weird peace you feel when you’re scared and reluctant; feeling ill-equipped and out of your depth. Knowing that you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, even though you’ve no idea how to do it – or why you’ve been asked… it’s a fabulously bizarre place to be.

But I say – so be it, Lord!

It has to start there doesn’t it? I have to grasp this thing with both hand and say, “AMEN God, to the task you’ve called me to.”

All I have to do now is work out what exactly I’m supposed to be doing… 😀

A x

ps The pastor guest tells the story in more depth here if you’d like to read it.

The April A to Z brings me back

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Life as a Pastor's Wife10 Comments

It’s been a while. Too long! I am, however back and looking forward to delighting you all with my excogitations and ministrations. 🙂

I have decided to launch into my favourite blogging event of the year. The April A to Z Blogging Challenge. Last year I didn’t finish it, but it’s always one of the funnest things to do. It’s a great way to connect with other bloggers, find new people to follow and some new readers too. If you’re interested, you still have a few days to sign up before the list closes. I’m number 1,617! There’s room for one more…

a-to-z banner 2016 2

My theme this year is “The A to Z of being a Pastor’s Wife.” I have been a Pastor’s wife now for 4 months, so obviously I know all there is to know *coughs* and am ready to share my wisdom. 😀

OK so I still have oodles of stuff to learn. God has shown me things about myself that I had not seen before (or maybe things I had just ignored). I’ve also seen the beloved in a new light, and am learning to let him be my Pastor too. We live ‘on site’, which has its own blessings and challenges. And we are loved, so unbelievably loved, by people we’re just getting to know. It’s been an amazing few months and I’m looking forward to sharing some of my thoughts on these early days.

So! After a break from writing, I’m delighted to getting back into the daily habit.

I’m really glad you’re still here – oh faithful readers. Thank you! xx

And I’ll see you bright and early, on April 1st 🙂

Our Father who art in HD

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff1 Comment

I’d say ‘Disgusted, of Tunbridge Wells’ is apoplectic at this stage.

Remember ‘Disgusted, of Tunbridge Wells’? He/She was one of BBC Points of View’s, “Why, oh why…” crowd.

I hear, lots of peeps were offended by the ad  with The Lord’s Prayer in it.

Did nobody learn anything from the Go Compare Man?, the Crazy Frog? or The Christmas Shoes song ? The more you try to stop something, the more popular and talked about it is! The video has gone viral!

So, do you want to know what offends me????

No of course you don’t. 🙂

2253549517_67bb97e646Actually, there are things I don’t like and don’t agree with; but I’m actually offended by very little.

I thought it was very interesting that Richard Dawkins spoke up about the issue. He told the Guardian: “My immediate response was to tweet that it was a violation of freedom of speech. But I deleted it when respondents convinced me that it was a matter of commercial judgment on the part of the cinemas, not so much a free speech issue. I still strongly object to suppressing the ads on the grounds that they might ‘offend’ people. If anybody is ‘offended’ by something so trivial as a prayer, they deserve to be offended.”
source: www.theguardian.com

On this one point… I agree with him. I think lots of people get offended way, way, WAY too easily. Be they people of faith or not. I find that some people are ‘eager’ to be offended. If they hear that something offended their friend, they will seek it out to see if it offends them, and then they’ll talk about how offended they are.

There was a time where debate and discussion were positive things. Most of the time nobody’s opinion is changed by a good wrangle with an issue, but hearing the other side is worthwhile. It’s an important thing, thrashing out the issues of the day.

Sadly, the bulk of it gets played out in the cesspool of insult and innuendo – or Twitter as it’s more commonly known.

You know the King James version of the Bible, Matt 5:29 says, “And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out.” The more modern language translations say, “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out.” How many things do we watch and hear that ‘offend’ us, and we don’t even realise. All sorts of sex, violence, bad language goes zooming across our screens. Now I’m not the TV police, people have the right to watch whatever they want. But the ol’ heckles being raised fast and furious over a two thousand year old prayer…?

One thing I do know, Christianity has been trod on, vilified, hated and persecuted since the Man who started it all was nailed to a Cross! I’ve no doubt it’ll survive a bit of censorship.

Hope that doesn’t offend anybody 😉

photo credit: turn it off! – _MG_9816 via photopin (license)