Category: Getting to grips with God stuff

Well I am a Christian…

Not sure if I “like” your “endorsement”, you “follow”?

On By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Random Ramblings7 Comments

Sincere apologies to anyone who has done this for me, and it doesn’t apply to every one – but I have to ask… What is the story with LinkedIn endorsements?

linked in 2

Cos I am actually scarlet when I get one.

Genuinely…

Red face, cringe, stare at feet – moments!

Now I am a girl who is well able to take a compliment.
You shower me with compliments – I’ll dig out the loofah!
But on LinkedIn???? I not sure I get it.

If you’re reading this and you have endorsed me then you might be harrumphing at my lack of gratitude and I can’t blame you for that. But I’d take those compliments more graciously (and willingly) if I really understood what they were about…?

So here’s why I have some scruples…

1. Is it just a case of Quid pro quo?
I read somewhere that recommendations on LinkedIn lose their value if they are reciprocated. Which is a pain cos I have two great recommendations and yes… they are both reciprocated. If endorsements are about mutual back scratching then I don’t see the point.
It’s different from ‘you follow me, I follow you back’ on social media. Twitter and FB are more about fun and social stuff. LI is a professional network!

2. I have been endorsed by people I’ve never met
I’m sounding more and more ungrateful as I go on amn’t I? :/
But it feels strange to get the thumbs up for a skill by folk I don’t really know. I know people can read the blogs and say they feel I’m good at writing, but there are cases where it’s not as simple as that.

3. I have at least one endorsement for a skill that I KNOW I am not good at
I won’t say which one, in case I cause the endorser (who is probably quite irked with me already!) any further pains. But a couple of times I’ve seen an endorsement and thought – ‘I’m rubbish at that.’

I think it was Rob Parsons of Care for the Family I heard say, something along the lines of, “Remember you’re not as great as you think you are, but you’re not as awful as you think you are either!” I think that’s a healthy attitude and one that is very much in line with Scripture.

Romans 12:3 says, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”

I suppose I’m trying to balance taking a compliment and thinking of myself with ‘sober judgement’. And I can’t tell you why I’m more hung up on LinkedIn endorsements than I am on someone saying of FB or Tw, “Read her stuff, she’s great.”
In fact a few more of those would be nice 🙂

Maybe it’s because it IS a professional network that I’m more iffy about it. I’ve never had a career, just a series of jobs that I’ve loved to a greater or lesser degree. I’m not sure why I even joined LinkedIn to be honest.

Am I alone in this – would love your feedback.
You can be totally honest, say what you like, take me to task, disagree with me, admonish me for being so ungrateful – respond however you’d want; just  make sure to click that ‘like’ button below while you’re there… 😀

photo credit: clasesdeperiodismo via photopin cc

Five Minute Friday – Belong

On By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff11 Comments

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Belong’

I deliberately didn’t go to something recently cos I genuinely didn’t feel I belonged there.
Even though the invitation was open to all who saw it. 

I actually was sick with nerves at the thought of being there. And it’s not the first time it has happened. I get terrible ‘event anxiety’. People who know me well and read this will probably be surprised, some might even think I’m making it up.

But I get stressed and nervous and have stupid panic-attack style moments that I don’t fit in, I’m not welcome, I don’t belong. It’s actually been going on for years.

No doubt a psychologist would be able to work out some deep-rooted issue that would explain it. I’m fairly confident that I have a raft of them to choose from. 🙂
Sitting here, I know it’s totally irrational and to some degree silly,
but there you have it.

Click the image below to find out more about Five Minute Friday.

Five Minute Friday

Looking back… moving on

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff2 Comments

I’m using journals from a time when I was having counselling, as research for a book I’m writing about… a girl having counselling.

Still a long road ahead, but I've come a long way
Still a long road ahead,
but I’ve come a long way

As I’ve gone through them I’ve been disappointed with myself, because I’m still struggling with a lot of the same stuff. The journals were only for me, my counsellor didn’t insist on reading them, but she believed anything I wrote down was significant and should be discussed. So no one has read these journals.

I’m going to share an entry here but first I want to give you some background… In 2002 I had lost all hope of having children, I lost my mother in 2005 and in 2007 I thought I was losing my mind with grief and sadness. I ended up on anti-depressants and out of work for a few months.

The ‘promise’ I refer to in the journal entry, came just before I hit rock bottom in 07. I read 1 Peter 5:10 “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” I typed it out and stuck it on my pc monitor in work and looked at it every day.

2 years later and some counselling, I wrote this – still on the meds at the time…

April 2009 – “I know God has restored me as He promised. He gave that word of promise to me from 1 Peter. He is making me strong and helping me to deal with life.. Who’d have thought that life would turn out like this…?”

Yes I am still struggling with a lot of those issues in the journal entries. But that little gem from 2009 reminds me how fragile I was. How close to the edge I came.
And how far I have come.

If you feel like you’ve stalled take a good look back.
Maybe you’ve come a lot further than you think 🙂

The chorus of one of my favourite songs says this…

Lord lead us through the wilderness,
We trust that you’ll provide.
Be our cloud by day and our fire by night,
and when we reach the other side
we’ll look back,
and all we’ll see
is your goodness.
(Stuart Garrett – guitarist with Delirious?)

Getting heat for public prayer

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff2 Comments

wow! it’s warm! WAAARRRMMMMMNEEEESSSSS!

auntyamo's phone
This is not a drill!
It is that temp at the moment.

For those of you who are not in Ireland at the moment, we are experiencing somewhat of a heatwave and it is wonderful. I love when you can throw open the doors and windows. Although we do have an issue with stray cats coming into our ground floor apartment. We’ve devised a sort of cat flap that keeps them out – I think 🙂

But I digress… yes – open doors and windows everywhere and the sounds of summer. Lawnmowers, music, kids playing, teenagers trying to impress each other. I’m very conscious of all that is going on outside and love the different sounds that come in. But I’m always quite conscious of what those outside can hear coming from our apartment.

We always pray together before our meals. Nothing elaborate or long. We just stop for 10 seconds to say something that amounts to – thanks for this God, we know it comes from you.

But… shame on me… I’m really conscious of the sound of us praying, making its way out the window. I shouldn’t be but I can’t help it. I’m not one to wince at the sound of my own voice – heaven forefend – but I can’t help worrying what others will think. It’s a terrible weakness I know.

But as I was pondering this. Doing my usual circle of worry and then feeling guilty for worrying, and then worrying… I remembered something that made me smile and gave me a bit of encouragement. When we lived in the UK we had a few nice summers when we had a lot of meals outside. This one afternoon, I was sitting just inside the back door cos the sun was way too hot to sit outside. The kids next door had made a tent out of chairs and a sheet and their mam brought them out some drinks and snacks. One of the kids shouted – “Hallelujah for my crisps”. They all laughed their heads off and another said,”Yes Lord, we thank you for orange squash”. They laughed again and shouted, “Amen.”

I remember laughing a lot too, trying not to let them hear me. Even though they were taking the mick and even though they didn’t mean it, I was glad that our thankfulness to God had made an impact on them. Even if it was a humorous one 🙂

In the story of Daniel in the Bible, he got into big trouble for refusing NOT to pray where people could hear him – it almost cos him his life. I think the least I can do is be laughed at for a bit. And who knows… maybe one day those kids will say it and mean it…!

Five Minute Friday – Beautiful

On By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff9 Comments

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Beautiful’

It is a beautiful day today.
It’s the second last day of my trip to the UK to visit family and friends.
The weather has been beautiful for most of the week. I think we had one day of rain, other than that, the sun has shone.

porthcawl panoama
I took this when we visited Porthcawl on Thursday 🙂

It’s been great to catch up with everyone, to find out what’s happening in their lives. Some of the ‘kids’ I knew when I was a youth leader in the church are at college or even done with college and getting married. Young whippersnappers who were a ‘handful’ in Young People’s group are now mature young adults, following God and heading out to serve him whether in standard 9to5 work or for Christian organisations.

Older folk who have seen many changes, many of whom have lost a spouse, are still praising God in it all and encouraged to see new life in the church.

It would be wrong to say there are no difficulties or challenges, but we’ve been encouraged to see God’s grace in the lives of those we love.

As I type we’re driving south to see more family and like I said at the beginning, it’s a great day. And not just because of the weather either… 🙂
We’ve seen the faithfulness of God this week and it’s beautiful!

Click the image below to find more info on Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday

Post-operative complications

On By auntyamoIn Family, Getting to grips with God stuff11 Comments

July 2nd! It’s always a day of mixed feelings for me. It’s the beloved’s birthday, his sister & brother-in-law’s wedding anniversary and it’s also the birthday of the only set of twins in my family, as well as a couple of other family members. So over the years it’s always marked.

But as in many things in life, there is a bitterness to the sweetness. On July 2nd 2002 I had major surgery that changed my life for ever. I had the big ‘H’ and with it went all hopes of having babies. I was only 30 and not yet 2 years married – so as you can imagine it was a blow.

I was very well prepared for the physical post-operative complications and what to do. I remember one nurse saying, “Basically they’re going to chop you in half, cut a section of you away and sew you back up – so prepare yourself, your body is going to be in shock for a long time.” As dramatic as that sounds, it did prepare me.

After a week in hospital I went home. I had months of recovery. I was blessed to have 2 great friends who are nurses and a district nurse living in the house opposite us. We were fed every day by a rota of folk from church and work. We were both cared for by so many people, including regular visits from Ireland. 

After a while I could walk.
It took time but eventually I could sit and stand with ease.
I was able to drive again after a couple of months and around that time I went back to work.
Because my surgery was cancer related, I attended the hospital for 5 years then was officially discharged.
And here we are 11 years on!

sovereign recovery

The problem was, no one warned me that my heart would be smashed into a million pieces and slowly but surely it would have to be put back together. Along side the physical recovery, there would be an emotional one. These days I’m pretty much reconciled to the turn my life took that day. I’ve had my rows with God. I still don’t get it but I’m a big believer in the sovereignty of God 😉 Most of the time I’m fine but the odd time, on day’s like Mother’s Day, I get a stab of pain from somewhere.

I’m always amazed at the body’s ability to recover. Cuts heal as skin knits itself back together, broken bones fix themselves, bruises eventually fade away. All these things happen with the help of medical care, but God has made our bodies in such a way that they can fix themselves.

And guess what?! The heart heals too! It takes time, longer than skin and bone, but it does heal. In the same way that some physical injuries leave their mark, injuries of the heart do that too.
But I promise you… the healing will come.

You may well choose to get there on your own, but I highly recommend you let God help you.

Ask Him for help – He will answer.
x

photo credit: kenjonbro via photopin cc

Vicar’s Got Talent?

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Random Ramblings2 Comments

Well now, it seems that the jury is out on the flashmob dancing vicar!

It’s been very interesting watching the reaction. I’ve seen the youtube clip posted loads of times, with comments ranging from the likes of – ‘this is fantastic!’ to ‘this is the worse thing you will ever see.’

I’ve read Christians who think ‘YEAH God is fun – I want my pastor to do this!’ and a self-confessed atheistic complain that ‘church is a place of worship’ and that this was disrespectful. I’ve also read a blog post by a priest who wonders if this is the type of thing that has the CofE numbers falling. I highly doubt that flashmobs are the reason for low church attendance. (Unless you count the two ladies who walked out in the middle of the dance routine.)

The thing that struck me was the fact that the bride and the vicar spent a lot of their time chatting. Now I’m only guessing but I reckon it might have been something like,

medium_6861100527 greek dancers cropped
We should be grateful that we weren’t subjected to Stavros Flatley… I suppose!

“You doing anything later?”
“Eh, yeah I just got married.”
“Of course sorry. I meant to ask you actually, how is that dress staying up?”
“Oh I’m wired into, don’t worry it’s very secure,… Hang on, where are Aunty Maureen and Aunty Mavis going?”
“Huh? who?”
“Hey be careful for your bit, don’t trip over your cassock again. “
“Gosh that would be embarrassing –  oh here’s my cue, back in a sec…”
“Go on girl, you’ve got the moves like Hagar…”

I’ll be honest and say I don’t feel that strongly about it either way, which is a bit weird for me actually. I think it’s a bit cute. This couple have been together years and I think it’s great that they decided to get married. The article in the papers suggest that the ‘type’ of vicar that she was helped make their decision.

I do have a little niggle about it though… I’ve been singing at weddings for years – about 25 I’d say. Most of them have been Roman Catholic weddings, and I’ve seen things change over that time. But one thing that has stayed constant is that during the Mass, the songs have to be Christian. So as the bride walks in, during the signing of the register and as the couple leave – the music can be more personal to them; but during the ceremony it is preferred that the music be ‘holy’. I actually like that. I like that there’s a bit of demarcation; a section where we acknowledge that something special is happening here and we should respect it.

So though I’m not against the flashmob I wonder if, smack bang in the middle of the bit where God has joined the two together is the most appropriate place for it, Maybe they could have flash mobbed out of the church when it was all done and dusted.
But hey… mine is just one of many opinions on this thing. The clip has gone viral and seems to have everyone talking – and that’s no bad thing.

Oh and don’t judge Aunty Mavis and Aunty Maureen for leaving. My guess is they went out to the car to get their driving shoes so they could join in. 

God bless and don’t forget… Everybody dance now…

photo credit: DimitraTzanos via photopin cc

Five Minute Friday – Listen

On By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff, Random Ramblings8 Comments

I really enjoyed Five Minute Friday that last time I did it, so here goes…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Listen’

I can’t stand noises that I don’t know what they are. I find an unusual noise frightening, and I have to go and investigate to see what it is. The most repeated phrase in my house after “pass the chocolate” is… “Sshhhh, listen, what’s that noise?”

The weirdest ‘find’ ever was when I heard a fast scratching sound that would last a few seconds and then stop for half a minute and then start again. Of course (!) the beloved couldn’t hear it and after a few goes I had to get out of bed and find what it was. I followed the sound to his side of the bed and it was definitely coming from under his bedside locker.

I moved the locker and a HUGE beetle was on his back, legs scrabbling trying to turn himself back over. As you can imagine I reacted in a calm and measured way… After screaming the house down, the husband was dispatched to return the beast to its natural habitat.

beetle
A ‘Beetle’ of a different kind…
I could not bring myself to put a creepy crawly on my blog *shivers*

I’m not kidding, I hear everything. Every little sound and squeak.
But it’s important to me that someone else hears it.
When it happens, I don’t just want him to listen to the noise.
I want him to listen to me.
Listen to my fear.
Reassure me that it’s nothing.

Needy? Maybe.
Silly? Yes.
Important to me? Absolutely vital!

Five Minute Friday

photo credit: cszar via photopin cc

Five Minute Friday – Imagine

On By auntyamoIn Five MInute Friday, Getting to grips with God stuff9 Comments

So… five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme Imagine… well imagine that… here we go.

All my life I thought day-dreaming was wrong. I remember in school I would get in trouble for not paying attention. OK so I SHOULD have been paying attention but I got the wrong end of the stick. It was like I was getting into trouble for having dreams and thinking about wanting more than I had.

And so because of that and the fact that I’m a bit of a rebel, I did it a lot.
There are a few verses about imagining that come to mind when I dwell on this.

Ephesians 3:20,21
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

1 Corinthians  2:6
‘no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him.’

I love that  there is an acknowledgement of imagining in the Bible; that God knows we will do it. In both of those verses it’s like He is saying… ‘Go on. Think of it. Think of the biggest, best, greatest, fastest most outrageously wonderful. Then multiply that by some number – you’re nowhere near what I can do, what I have in store for you, what I have prepared for you.’ 

Isn’t that great!?

Five Minute Friday

Freedom!

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Random Ramblings, Writing, Blogging etc2 Comments

This post is in response to a writing challenge on The Write Practice website that was set by Bryan Hutchinson. The challenge is to take a random quote and write a post about it. Funnily enough, there’s been a quote rambling around my head all week… about freedom.

I remember it clearly; walking out the door into the sunlight thinking…
“that’s the last Chemistry class I’ll ever have to take.” 
I do not know why I took Chemistry for my Leaving Cert (A Levels/High School finals).
It didn’t matter – it was over and I was free!

I walked through the park that connected the school to the road I lived on and I could see classmates ripping pages out of books and throwing them in the river. I would have loved to do that but wouldn’t have been brave enough! 😉 The next day in school there was an announcement to say that local residents had reported the ‘book ripping’ to the school. Our vice principal said that if we wanted to rip our books to shreds that was our right – but we were to do it at home! He said that we were free from school and from studying if that’s what we wanted (though he didn’t recommend that). Then he said… and I’ll ALWAYS remember his words…

“You are not free live as you choose but you are free to choose how you live.
So choose wisely.”

Freedom 3987609005_1a75beaf43

I’ve been thinking about it over the last few days as I’ve seen photos of family graduating, and finishing school; ready to head out into the big bad world. It’s great that there’s no more homework! I loved that – my plan was to get a job and at the end of the working day walk away and leave it behind me. (Then I went into hairdressing and spent a lot of time doing hair for family at home! ehhh helloooo? :D)

So I wanted to shout out to those who are finishing up school and heading off into the future towards adult life and just say… Well done! Go out there and LIVE your life. Pursue that career, follow your dreams, work hard and take care of yourself.
Remember to choose wisely not just what you do with your life but how you live it!

By the way if you’re looking for REAL and permanent freedom… try this inspiring quote for size… Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31b,32

Photo Credit: crazyluca69 via photopincc