Month: June 2018

Happy National Writing Day!

On By auntyamoIn Random Ramblings3 Comments

I had heard it was National Writing Day. First time for me, seem to have missed it over the last few years. I had no idea it was a thing. Unless I wrote about it last year and have forgotten. #possible

The idea of this challenge, shared with my by Sarah Davies (she who is super organised – I bet SHE knew it NWD today! 😀 ), is that we free write for 7 minutes on the theme, ‘I feel most free when…’

Now I love free-writing, most short stories I’ve written have come from raw material gathered during free-writing sessions. But here is the down side of it… when it asks you to be honest and you don’t have time to think about what you’re writing, and the truth comes out.
The truth will set you free, the Bible says. So let’s give it a whirl.

I feel most free when…

I’m alone.

Doesn’t that sound awful?! But yes, when I’m alone I feel I can relax and I don’t have to worry about what I’m wearing, what I look like, what I’m saying…

My natural facial expression is a scowl. Seriously it is. Typing away here quite happily, I can just see my reflection in the screen (I’m outside and it’s sunny). I look very unhappy. When I’m in company I have to remember my natural scowl and ‘turn that frown upside down’. So if you know me, you may have thought, ‘ohh she’s not happy today, she looks miserable.’ Nope, it’s my resting face, sadly.

So… when I’m alone I don’t have to worry about it, or anything else. I can sing along to rubbish music, dance around, practise out loud for a talk I’m doing.

I’m the same when I’m walking. Though I enjoy stroll and a chat at times, my preference for my daily exercise is to walk alone, stomp out the steps to whatever music is playing in my ear and just get the steps done.

I feel I should be saying, I’m most free when praying, or when I’m in the presence of God, or when I’m in church on a Sunday; and though I wouldn’t enjoy being alone all the time, when I AM alone there is no act to put on, no mask to wear, no feelings to hide. I can just be who I am.

And it’s not that I’m happier when I’m alone. I’m not, but I am freer.

It’s something I should work on. Actually no, it is something I am working on. I think a lot of it comes from carrying a lot of weight for a lot of years. I’m addressing that now. So maybe I’ll be happier in my skin, and freer for other people to see me in it.

There we go, seven minutes of honesty.

If you’ve done the challenge, please leave a link so I can check out what you’ve written.

A x

Tired feet and a full heart

On By auntyamoIn Family, Health, weight & wellbeing, Random RamblingsLeave a comment

Following on from my last post – complaining about how busy I am, I thought it would be good to reflect on what I’ve been up to, and why the diary has been so full. I made it sound awful, to be constantly on the go and not have a minute to stop. But much of what I’ve been doing has been enjoyable, worthwhile and uplifthing. So I should quit complaining really.

One of the great things I did took place on Saturday 26th May. I took part in my 2nd Cancer Research UK – Relay for Life, in Pontypool Park. I was part of a team who, for 24 hours, walked to raise money for Cancer Research in Wales. I was privileged to be asked to start the ‘Survivors Lap’ with some actual real-life heroes.
It was an amazing experience.

 On the Saturday, I walked over 20k. I raised over £400, our team raised well over £2000; and we were just one of many teams. The weather forecast wasn’t great, but we managed to dodge the showers most of the time. It was the last hour on the Sunday morning when we were about to do our final lap, having received our medals, when the heavens opened and the rain fell. We were rushed into the marquee to escape the thunder showers. It took me about a week to fully recover but what an amazing 24hours it was.
Thank you! to all who donated and cheered me on.

I was also at a family wedding. It was such a beautiful day, with lots of beautiful people. The groom is officially some level of cousin by marriage, but in my heart he’s a nephew, and I was so proud to be part of his day.

As well as that, other events included:

  • a trip to Ireland (yes, another one)
  • I met up with old friends I hadn’t seen in a long time – one f2f – we spent a whole day together drinking coffee, walking and talking, also a virtual reunion with a friend in the US who is also my editor. She’s doing some work on my non-fiction WIP, so we got to catch up AND get some work done
  • at church we hosted a Royal Wedding Afternoon Tea
  • I also spent a couple of nights with the MIL while himself was away.

That is by no means, an exhaustive list (though maybe a little exhausting).

When I looked again at my diary, I realised how blessed I am to have so many people and events in my life. I shouldn’t complain about my to do list when it includes such delights.

Not much but more than enough

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Writing, Blogging etc7 Comments

Have you ever read the story of the widow and the small jar of oil? You’ll find it at the beginning of 2 Kings 4. A woman whose husband had died, was left to deal with his debt. In that place and time, debt that could not be repaid, was dealt with in human life. The woman was awaiting the debt collector, who was on their way to take her two sons away, as payment. She cried out to Elisha, and his response was to ask her what she had. Her answer… a small amount of oil.

I worry that I’m spreading myself to thin these days. I’m just so busy all the time and my to-do list is endless. There just isn’t enough of me to go around. I worry that I’m not putting my heart and soul in to anything, cos I feel I can’t put it fully into everything. They say you should do 1 or 2 tasks to completion, rather than have  10 tasks on the go, but my life at the moment is not so straightforward. There isn’t much I can put down.

So I’m praying for some oil. Not just any old oil, a portion of oil that looks small and is worth little, but that will last; the way it lasted for the woman in the Bible story. Elisha sent out for jars. As they kept coming the oil kept coming; jar after jar. When there were no more jars, there was no more oil. The amount of oil was not endless, it was enough.

I used to think I needed endless supplies of everything to be happy. Loads of money, loads of time, loads of food, loads of technology, loads of ‘contacts’, loads of people and activity around me all the time. I’m working on changing my mindset and remembering that I just need enough.

At the moment, my severe shortage is time. I’ve been challenged recently by a friend’s use of hers. She is so super organised, and after reading about how she plans her day, I actually felt like half a person for a couple of days. In no way did she set out to make me feel like that. I was intrigued and asked her to tell me more about her daily planning. (You know that thing about being careful what you ask for…) I doubt I’d ever be able to get to where she is, but her system has challenged me to make better use of my time.

As part of that, I’m going to ask God to keep stretching my portion of oil for as long as I have jars to fill it. I DO NOT have enough time to get it all done, so I’m going to need some help while I try to get organised.

I don’t need tons. I just need enough.
I just need what I have to stretch a bit, until the jars stop coming!

photo credit: Symic BerryWhite via photopin (license)