Letter to 15 Year Old Me

On the About Aunty Amo page I added an option for people to ask me questions. A question that came back to me is ‘If you could write a letter to your 15 year old self what would you say to her?’ So here’s the answer… 🙂

Dear Amo

dispic me
Despicable Me

you won’t recognise me but I’m the older, bigger, more frightened, less stupid & probably at first glance, disappointing ‘you’ 27 years from now.

I doubt anything I say will change you – if mam couldn’t get through then no one will, but here’s a few things to keep in mind.

In about 7 years from now, you’ll have a religious conversion that will frighten the life out of a lot of people around you. It will really annoy others – YOU will really annoy others. It’ll take you a while to get the hang of it but you will.
Keep moving forward.

Those nieces and nephews you have… well they’ll keep coming. Every year, there’ll just be another one. And just when your brothers and sisters stop providing them, the grand nieces and nephews will start arriving. Based on the ones you have at the moment, that might sound like a nightmare (I mean they’re great – but you’re talking about another 30 or so…and counting), but believe me they’ll give your life meaning that you have no ability to understand right now. You’ll end up with lots of babies to hold; and you’re gonna need them.

You will not marry L, D or P. That will seem like a bad thing at the time. IT IS A GOOD THING! You will however marry R. 🙂 And he will think you’re wonderful. You will never get used to how wonderful he thinks you are. In fact you’ll go out of your way to prove him wrong. Try not to do that too much; he’s wonderful too.

Your heart is going to be broken; more than once. I don’t mean by L, D or P. I mean your heart is going to be almost crushed – a few times over the years. The key word here is ‘almost’. You will make it. You’ll think you won’t survive, or be happy again, or even be able to keep breathing.
You will. Honestly… listen…
Hear that? Another breath. They do keep coming.

That religious conversion I mentioned earlier? I played it down a bit but it’ll be the single most transformational thing that’ll happen to you. You’ll still end up 42, overweight, frustrated and often very sad. But you’ll have an eternal perspective on things, a hope that makes no sense, a joy that keeps you strong and a relationship with God that will LITERALLY save your life.

Oh and you’ll end up working for a guy called Rob Parsons. He will say lots of great things, but one of the things you’ll remember above all others will be,
“You’re not as great as you think you are and you’re not as bad as you think you are.”
It’ll turn out to be very helpful advice.

amo permKeep singing, keep writing & keep your chin up. Amo x

ps You were right about The Cure – amazing
pps You were wrong about the perm – disastrous

Music on a Monday — This blog??? oohhhh… about Seventeen Seconds!

I bought Seventeen Seconds by the The Cure again. I couldn’t help myself.

A few months ago I had the immense priv of meeting a band member from those days. The splendid Matthieu Hartley (keyboard player on SS). Standing outside the Bad Ass Café (where once I had hung out, mohican, doc boots, white face and all), I was v nervous waiting for him to arrive. But Matt (I can call him Matt you know) and his lovely wife and two of his mates (I’ve met his wife and two of his mates you know) were really great! They didn’t mind the weird stalker type person who just wanted to sit near a bit of Cure history 🙂

Seventeen Seconds was an important buy the first time around. I was into The Cure from just after Love Cats but EVERYONE loved The Cure after Love Cats. But to prove yourself as a real fan you had to go back! So I bought Seventeen Seconds and learned every word off by heart. Then I learned the words of 10:15 on a Saturday Night. Cos as a Cure fan you had to know the B Sides as well.

It’s the music of my formative years. We were never happier than when we were depressed listening to the Cure 🙂 I had lots of younger nieces and nephews and was the ‘cool’ aunty. But I didn’t want to be cool. I just wanted to be Robert Smith!

I look back on those days and remember loving my identity. And to this day regret giving it up for a guy who didn’t like girls with mohicans! Inside I’m still a Curehead really!

btw Mattieu Hartley music is still great! His band Icicle Thieves are playing in the Albert in Brighton this coming Friday.