Where is God in our 21st century world? – The Chaiya Art Awards


photo credit: Jonny Back

I have the immense pleasure of starting the blog tour celebrating the launch of  the accompanying hardback book to the Chaiya Art Awards exhibition, ‘Where is God in our 21st century world?’ written by Ann Clifford. The awards website tells us this book is “for the curious and open-minded, for people of all faiths and none. It is bursting with richness and diversity, vulnerability and exploration, colour and fragility, treasure and beauty.”
It showcases more than 60 of the shortlisted artworks.

It’s not easy for me to sum up how I feel about this book. I was moved through so many emotions and reactions. Some images I swept past in an instant. Others held me. One thing I do know, it is a book I will look at and share often. Very moving and thought provoking, and potentially the best conversation starter about things of faith that I’ll ever come across.

There were some poignant examples of ‘Kintsugi’, which is mending a broken item using gold. Making that item more valuable after the mending. The piece I’d love most to see in real life is, ‘The Storm’ by Chris Evans-Roberts. I almost dismissed ‘Koryo’- an image taken in North Korea by Yue Wang, as simply a tourist’s photo. But there’s a powerful underlying significance that once you see, you can’t unsee.  ‘Grenfell 2017’, by Matthew Askey, is a deep and dark portrayal of that awful tragedy, which brought me to tears. ‘The Real Thing’, by Simon Shepherd and ‘The Last Fish Supper’, by Gina Parr – well I couldn’t decide if they were comical, challenging, ironic or just plain irreverent.

My favourite though, was a work in oil on canvas called, ‘Seek and You Shall Find’. It was painted by Karl Newman, and stopped me in my tracks as I looked through the book. I got to ask the artist some questions and am delighted to share his answers with you.

photo credit by Jonny Back

1. Karl, your painting grabbed me the moment I saw it. I spent ages looking at it and through it, and have come back to it many times. Congratulations on being a finalist in this award-winning collection. How does it feel?

Thanks. It actually felt very good to be a part of the Chaiya Arts Awards exhibition. I occasionally enter similar competitions and I’m not always selected and so I certainly wasn’t assuming that I would be selected for this exhibition. When I saw my painting in the show I was really pleased to see it placed as prominently as it was. It made me smile inside to think that this little fishing hut that I’ve known since childhood and which is really remote is placed facing the Thames under the Oxo tower on London’s Southbank. You really couldn’t get a greater contrast!

2. I was struck by the concept of peace needing to be “sought” in the busyness of life. Is this your own personal experience?

Yes, I think it is my experience that you have to find a place of peace. I don’t think peace is something we are entitled to or that comes knocking on our doors. We have to seek it out. And then it’s very easy to lose your peace in a world that crowds in, demands time, energy and resources. Being quiet, getting away from things and resting are important for wellbeing and for creativity. We have our best ideas when we are relaxed and resting not when we are tired and stressed.

3. I love the layers in the image. Did you see the image layer by layer, or was it all there before you started to work?

That’s interesting. For this image in particular the painting process was one of revealing and disguising in equal measure. I’d make a mark and then paint over it, scraping, scratching, smearing the paint in a variety of ways to try to find the feel of the dense forest I was trying to depict. Working in this way helped me to think about the subject, of seeking and finding. That is literally what I was trying to do, I was seeking the image I saw in my mind and then in the end, partially finding it. I started with the most distant layer, the sky and worked forwards. The red shoes were painted last.

I work in a tiny studio and so most of the time I am really close to the surface of the painting and I don’t see the image as a whole until I carry the canvas outside where I can stand back. Over the years of working in this way I think I have focussed more and more on the surface and I love what paint does when it is applied layer upon layer. I get very absorbed in the process of applying and manipulating paint and lose sight of the overall image, which is why in this case I chose such a simple, solid composition with the fishing hut placed centrally and the triangular shape of its roof the focal point. It allowed me the freedom to play with the paint and colours in order to achieve the feel I was after.

photo credit: Jonny Back

4. What other piece in the collection has impressed you most ? Would you share with us why?

There were several works that I really liked. I think Marian Wouda’s sculpture ‘The Other Lamb’ is a particularly compelling piece. It’s an ambiguous image, beautifully made with plaster and straw, which asks questions of the viewer. Is it sleeping peacefully, or is it dead? It invites interpretation. Within the context of this exhibition and the question asked of the participating artists it alludes to John the Baptist’s proclamation ‘Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world’. It is a powerful and arresting piece that I find myself drawn to more as time passes. It isn’t a work that draws attention to itself initially.

5. Is art your main expression of faith? Has it always been?

I guess so; both making and seeing art. Images resonate with me, they gain traction and meaning in my life as time passes and I find myself repeating motifs in my own work. Viewing work and making my own paintings allows me to meditate on things, issues, ideas and on God too, it is an art form that is not hurried by the constraints of time as theatre, dance or watching a film are. The act of making art is itself an act of faith, of reaching for something that doesn’t yet exist. Faith and imagination are closely linked and therefore I think God often speaks to us through the arts.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Karl, and congratulations again.

So there you have it folks. The blog tour is well and truly off and running. Make sure to keep and eye on the other blog posts as the tour goes on, by going to the web addresses on the list or following #isGod21

You can follow Karl Newman on Twitter. The photographer for the exhibition was Jonny Back

Where is God in our 21st Century World? (ISBN: 9781909728905, Non- fiction, paperback, 96pp, £15.99) by ­­­­­Ann Clifford was published by Instant Apostle on 21 September 2018. It is available from bookshops, online retailers and the Chaiya Art Awards website.

A funny thing happened on the way to Isaiah 30


Before we jump in, make sure to pop back on Friday when I’ll be starting the blog tour for the 2018 Chaiya Art Awards compilation, ‘Where is God in our 21st century world?’ I’ll be interviewing one of the finalists and sharing some images from the book.

For now, back to Isaiah…

I look back at the notes I made when reading Isaiah 29 and 30 and wonder why on earth I decided to share this stuff! I remember feeling challenged and chastised after 29, then after reading 30, going back to it again and again, I was burning with a desire to grow up and be humble in the church work I’m involved in. To rid my self of the attitude I had when reading 29.

I now want to qualify and quantify some of the things I wrote, cos I’m a bit embarrassed by them. But… I’m going to go ahead share my ponderings with you anyway. This would probably be a good time to remember what I said in, ‘The Isaiah Disclaimer‘ about you being gentle on me etc… 😀

Some verses really stood out to me in Isaiah 29

v.13 “These people come near to me with their mouth and  honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.”

v.15 [They] hide their plans from the Lordwho do their work in darkness and think, “Who sees us? Who will know?”

vv 23, 24  When they see among them their children, the work of my hands,
they will keep my name holy; they will acknowledge the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob, and will stand in awe of the God of Israel. Those who are wayward in spirit will gain understanding; those who complain will accept instruction.”

I started thinking about all the people who could benefit from reading these verses. People (I feel) honour God with their lips, but not with their lives.  People who (I feel) live as if the Lord can’t see them, and how foolish it is.

I made a little list in my head. A list of the wayward and complainers I know, wondering how long it will take them to recognise the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob!

I started to pray for those people and when it came to naming them individually the first name that came out of my mouth was my own. I realised how arrogant I was! I spent some time asking God for forgiveness and prayed more generously for my list of people. I felt quite sheepish after that.

Then it was Chapter 30’s turn to challenge me!

Once again, my ‘squishy’ view of God and my instinct to shy away from the image of an angry wrathful God was brought into focus here. There is no condemnation for those of us in Jesus, but God always has, does, and will, hate disobedience.

And he shows it in chapter 30. The accusations against his people are ones he could make about me too…
Going places I’m not supposed to go
Making plans without consulting him
Forming alliances that are not for my spiritual benefit
Wanting only to hear nice, pleasant things – and rejecting His correction

And though consequences of these actions are promised, verses 15 and 18 show that more grace follows…
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it…Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!”

I prayed a lot after this chapter. I felt like a weak and arrogant ‘leader’ after 29, but chapter 30 called me to sit up and suit up. Here’s the prayer I wrote down..

“Father God, please help me. Develop my service to you in the right way. Keep me humble. Make me like you – a hater of sin, a lover of repentance – and this nowhere more than in my own life. Help me be more gracious as a leader. Please guide me Give me confidence and let my confidence in you encourage others.
Lead me Lord I pray, in Jesus Name, Amen.”

Please pray it with me, or if you don’t need too, pray for me.
Sorry this was a long post. 🙂 xx

See you Friday when I kick off the 2018 Chaiya Art Awards blog tour…

Photo credit: Jonny Back
Photo credit: Jonny Back

 

 

Don’t blame your tools – Isaiah 28


If you’ve just joined us or haven’t visited for a while, hello and welcome 🙂 You might want to have a quick read of  “Isaiah and Me” or “The Isaiah Disclaimer.” They’ll give you a bit of background to this short series I’m focusing on at the moment. Sharing a few thoughts on my time reading the Book of Isaiah.

Hard going as it was at times, I ploughed through the chapters and was writing notes as I went. It was more of the same – disobedience, punishment and glimpses of the mercy to come.

I got to Chapter 28 and was praying as I read. As I mentioned before, I was asking God to teach me through Isaiah; to answer specific issues I’d been seeking Him about. One of the issues that troubled me was my work in the church.

Self doubt comes in waves; my writing, my day job, my work in church, my weight/eating, how awful I am in general, then it swings back around to writing and does another circuit. When I got to chapter 28, I was thinking about service to the church and the people; the usual doubts filling my mind. Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Did I say too much, or was it too little, or unclear? Could I have tried harder, or visited longer, or been nicer, or been firmer? How do I know if I’m getting it right?

I was reading through the verses of chp 28, trying to work out if these words could speak to how I was feeling. Then I read this, from the New Living Translation…

Listen to me; listen, and pay close attention. Isaiah 28:23

So I stopped. I prayed a bit, saying sorry for not listening. I sat in quiet, took a few deep breaths, then I continued reading from v.24

“Does a farmer always plow and never sow? Is he forever cultivating the soil and never planting? Does he not finally plant his seeds— black cumin, cumin, wheat, barley, and emmer wheat— each in its proper way, and each in its proper place?
The farmer knows just what to do, for God has given him understanding.
A heavy sledge is never used to thresh black cumin; rather, it is beaten with a light stick. A threshing wheel is never rolled on cumin; instead, it is beaten lightly with a flail. Grain for bread is easily crushed, so he doesn’t keep on pounding it. He threshes it under the wheels of a cart, but he doesn’t pulverize it.
The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is a wonderful teacher, and he gives the farmer great wisdom. Isaiah 28:24-29 NLT

I almost cried. Actually I think I did cry a little. I felt so relieved.

There are seasons for each stage of farming. Preparing ground, sowing, harvesting… Each seed has its time and place to be sown. Each crop has an appropriate tool for harvesting. Some crops just need a gentle tap, others need a stronger approach. The farmer is given wisdom by God not to use the wrong tool at the wrong time.

I have been trying to work it out myself. Where as I should only be relying on the teaching and wisdom of ‘The Lord of Heaven’s Armies.’ I’m not saying I won’t get anything wrong, but I have peace about it now. I’m not so tormented about what to do next and where and when and with who. I just need to ask him for his wisdom.

Every time I examined my service I pulverised it! God wouldn’t do that to me, so I shouldn’t do it to myself!

photo credit: faungg’s photos Harvesting Sugarcane via photopin (license)

Isaiah in the early 20s


I was all ready to give up by the time I got to Isaiah 24! 

It was verse after verse of warnings and terrible prophecy. Egypt (chp 19), Egypt and Cush (chp 20), Babylon (chp 21) , Jerusalem (chp 22) , Tyre (chp 23) , then the whole earth (chp 24) .

I should have been prepared for it, I should have known this is how it would be. The book of Isaiah is made up of two major sections. Chapters 1-39 are collectively known, by some commentators, as ‘the judgement book’. If you know Isaiah then you’ll know that the ‘comforting’ stuff doesn’t appear until 40:1. I knew that, so I shouldn’t have been so surprised by the tough stuff. But I was.
And as I mentioned, by chapter 24 I’d had enough.

Then… like a little oasis in the desert there was some refreshing cool. 

“So will it be on the earth and among the nations, 
as when an olive tree is beaten, 
or as when gleanings are left after the grape harvest.

They raise their voices, they shout for joy; 
from the west they acclaim the Lord’s majesty. 
Therefore in the east give glory to the Lord;

exalt the name of the Lord, the God of Israel, 
in the islands of the sea.

From the ends of the earth we hear singing:
“Glory to the Righteous One.”” Isaiah 24:13-16a

Look closely in these ‘judgement’ chapters and you still find the faithful promises. As angry as he is, God regularly drops in the promises to the remnant of believers. Our faith will be beaten, shaken and we may feel like a combine harvester has actually run over our souls. But there will be ‘gleanings.’

The Church might well look like an empty harvest field with just a few olives lying around here and there. Or a vineyard with just the odd grape remaining.
But we few who are left “raise our voices and shout for joy.”

Continue on in Chapter 24 and Isaiah returns to words of woe. The tough stuff is not over yet. But there is always a reason and an opportunity to stop and give glory to the Righteous One. We had our Harvest Services yesterday and we thanked God for all he has given us, and will continue to provide for us.

We’re a small church but few as we are,
                                           we gave glory to the Righteous One.

So tell me… which end of the earth do you live in? Were you in church yesterday? What did you shout? What did you sing?

Godly Gory Stories – Isaiah 14, 15, 16


It took me to chapter 13 to really dig in and commit to seeking God in this Book. I wanted to know how these ancient words could speak in to the things hanging on my heart. So I began to pray about specific issues I’m facing, not having much confidence that there would be any connection.

One of the things troubling me lately is how different my writing became after experiencing tragic and sad loss late 2013/early 2014.

I’ve always said, ‘unless the Lord builds the house’, I write in vain; that includes the devotional and fiction work. The short stories have changed because I have changed. Mixed in with the regular light-hearted fun stuff, is murder, death, loss and mental confusion.

As I prepare to publish the collection – the question won’t leave me… Can a story about murder please God?

Chapters  14, 15 and 16 of Isaiah talk of terrible destruction. Murder, rape and devastation. I find it hard to see how the narrating of those actions are glorifying to Him. Yet – He commanded Isaiah to say those things. No wonder Isaiah didn’t want the job . Did he know what God would ask him to say?

When meditating on those chapters, I dared to wonder if this answered the question  of my altered writing voice?

I still want to reflect redemption, forgiveness and second chances, as these are God’s gifts to his people. But Isaiah has shown me, sometimes there is murder. Sometimes there is destruction; devastation that no one can make sense of.

I’ve experienced loss. Senseless, pointless, faith-bruising grief. It came out in the stories I wrote afterwards. I don’t think there was much of that the first time around. I’ve changed as a writer.

Until reading those chapters in Isaiah, I wasn’t sure if those stories were from God, or even ok with Him. But I dare to think they are. Sometimes the hard story needs to be told. It has to come out to begin the journey back from it. The words need to be allowed to come out. Ugly, scary, uncomfortable as they are.

Just cos the story is gory, does it mean it’s Godless?

I hope God is ok with the new voice. I’ve always wanted him to lead my storytelling. I pray he continues to do so.

So… how do you feel about some of the horrible stories in the Bible? Do you find it hard to reconcile some of Scripture’s more gory stories?

photo credit: Art DiNo Ocaso / Sunset via photopin (license)

The Isaiah Disclaimer


No, this is not a post about a new Dan Brown novel. Or an episode of The Big Bang Theory!

Read the title again — it totally could be though, right?

Anyway, you’ll be glad (or disappointed) to know it is just my preamble to sharing my thoughts on my recent studies in the Book of Isaiah.

I’ve had messages saying that some of you lovely folk are looking forward to it. That is wonderful, and a bit scary. One of those #nopressure moments!

So I thought I should introduce the series by giving caveat in advance 🙂

I’m no expert in the Book of Isaiah, and though I’ll check my conclusions against commentaries as I go, it’ll be a very personal take on what I’ve read. I’ve been praying about specific things in my readings, and I believe God has spoken through His Word. You may read one of the posts and think “that verse DOESN’T say THAT.” By all means you are free to challenge me and question my ponderings.

But be gentle.

I have a BTh and a Post Grad Dip in Applied Theology, but the more I study, all I know is I know very little.  I have prayed and read, and been blessed. I’m eager to share the blessing.

This blog has been going for about 6 years and as far as I can remember, this is my first efforts towards a series of Bible study posts.  Like I said, I’m all for interactive Bible study, so do chip in 🙂

1st post will be this week. See you then 🙂
A x

Isaiah and me


I’ve been spending time in the Book of Isaiah. Some of it has been hard going, but ultimately inspiring and challenging. So much so that I’m going to do a short series of blog posts during September and October – sharing some of the blessings I’ve received 🙂

I hope you enjoy it, and would love to hear your thoughts on the posts.

In the mean time, I’m over on the UK Association of Christian Writers blog today. Click here to read the article.  See you in September. x

The problem with weeds


I have been trying to come up with a recipe for living with weeds.

The back of our place is mostly paved, but there is a line of weeds running along the side of the building and it drives me nuts.

I wrote a piece for the ACW Lent anthology, a reflection on the parable of the weeds in Matthew 13. I came to the conclusion that, for now, God wants us to live with them.

It gave me an idea for a cool new devotional series called… wait for it…

Nettle Soup for the Soul!

What a nifty idea eh? 😀 A book of devotional pieces that don’t remove the sting, they just help you live with it.

Here’s the other tricky thing. Opposite our line of weeds, is a wall that has all sorts of things growing out of it and behind it. I was pulling them out when a friend told me I was pulling away at perfectly lovely… flowers. Can’t remember what she called them. So how am I supposed to know the difference? How am I supposed to recognise the bits of scraggy growth that have potential to bloom?

Only God knows what are pointless weeds and what will blossom, in the mean time, there’s mercy available until it’s time to get rid of them.

Anyone for nettle soup?

photo credit: nesson-marshall april-2018 – 30 via photopin (license)

Opportunities like buses


One of the things I miss about Ireland is the connections I made in the writing world. It has taken a while for me to build a network again, but last week I felt like I’d made a some progress.

I have to work hard to make time for writing these days. Me and my hectic life… I bring it to God every so often, questioning why I want to write so much, but how he has filled my life with so many other things it’s being pushed out. Yet He compels me to write. One of the many, ‘what’s that about?’ moments of life.

Last week I managed to have two opportunities to read my work. It’s been such a long time, I’d almost forgotten how 😀

On Thursday morning, I visited NHSound, Neville Hall’s hospital radio station. The show is called The Writers Room, it’s hosted by the lovely Gill Garrett and is broadcast every Thursday morning from 10-12. Last week’s programme was a special NHS 70th birthday show. As a writer and a mega user (and fan) of the NHS, I got to share a bit about both of those things on the show. It came just a few days after the anniversary of my surgery. It’s the same date as the beloved’s birthday, so always a bitter-sweet day. My time in the RGH all those years ago was on my mind anyway. It was great to be able to say thank you to the NHS, and be a small part of the national birthday celebrations.

Then on Saturday, along with fellow members of the Newport Writers, I read in the Spoken Word tent at the Maindee Festival. It was a fabulous event full of noise and colour. The smell of fabulous food and sound of eclectic music made for a vibrant atmosphere. It was a hot day, and the spoken word tent was like a sauna, but worth sticking with to hear such a great mix of stories and poetry.

I go through stages where I think it’s pointless keeping up with the writing lark. I’m making slow to no process. But lately I’m finding I enjoy it just because I enjoy it – and out of the blue, popped up some writing opportunities. Two in one week. I’m thankful to God for the encouragement. I’ll keep scribbling away and wait for the next bus 🙂

Happy National Writing Day!


I had heard it was National Writing Day. First time for me, seem to have missed it over the last few years. I had no idea it was a thing. Unless I wrote about it last year and have forgotten. #possible

The idea of this challenge, shared with my by Sarah Davies (she who is super organised – I bet SHE knew it NWD today! 😀 ), is that we free write for 7 minutes on the theme, ‘I feel most free when…’

Now I love free-writing, most short stories I’ve written have come from raw material gathered during free-writing sessions. But here is the down side of it… when it asks you to be honest and you don’t have time to think about what you’re writing, and the truth comes out.
The truth will set you free, the Bible says. So let’s give it a whirl.

I feel most free when…

I’m alone.

Doesn’t that sound awful?! But yes, when I’m alone I feel I can relax and I don’t have to worry about what I’m wearing, what I look like, what I’m saying…

My natural facial expression is a scowl. Seriously it is. Typing away here quite happily, I can just see my reflection in the screen (I’m outside and it’s sunny). I look very unhappy. When I’m in company I have to remember my natural scowl and ‘turn that frown upside down’. So if you know me, you may have thought, ‘ohh she’s not happy today, she looks miserable.’ Nope, it’s my resting face, sadly.

So… when I’m alone I don’t have to worry about it, or anything else. I can sing along to rubbish music, dance around, practise out loud for a talk I’m doing.

I’m the same when I’m walking. Though I enjoy stroll and a chat at times, my preference for my daily exercise is to walk alone, stomp out the steps to whatever music is playing in my ear and just get the steps done.

I feel I should be saying, I’m most free when praying, or when I’m in the presence of God, or when I’m in church on a Sunday; and though I wouldn’t enjoy being alone all the time, when I AM alone there is no act to put on, no mask to wear, no feelings to hide. I can just be who I am.

And it’s not that I’m happier when I’m alone. I’m not, but I am freer.

It’s something I should work on. Actually no, it is something I am working on. I think a lot of it comes from carrying a lot of weight for a lot of years. I’m addressing that now. So maybe I’ll be happier in my skin, and freer for other people to see me in it.

There we go, seven minutes of honesty.

If you’ve done the challenge, please leave a link so I can check out what you’ve written.

A x