Armchair Olympics


So there I am with a large mug of coffee and a packet of chocolate digestives criticising the gymnast cos her triple somersault wasn’t perfect…

They have to keep their legs straight – how many times do I have to say it?!?!?!

Anyway…. I suddenly have a moment of crisis. Am I really committed to anything?

There have been lots of ads on the telly lately, focussing on the commitment of athletes who have made it to the Olympics. Not just the last four years, but a life time of early mornings, hard work, sacrificing time and money – committment!

Am I actually committed to anything? Other than getting to the bottom of this packet of biscuits?

Anyone familiar with the Bible will know that themes of perseverance and running the race are used to help explain the Christian life. There’s also a lot of farming analogies, which make much more sense to me now that I live in a rural community. Just last week I was chatting with someone about arranging a get-together but we weren’t sure if it was possible. I was asking what time some of the farmers would be finishing work.  The answer came… “As long as the sun is shining the lads will work.”

“Yeah Amo!” I thought, kicking myself “like they clock out at 5!  helloooooo?!”

Suddenly it dawned on my that ‘Make hay while the sun shines’ is not just an old adage – it’s a work ethic!

I think the problem is that all this running and jumping over things is highlighting the fact that the things I’m passionate about and committed to are in my head and my heart. I can’t think of one that I need to get out of my chair for! Which is a bit worrying really!

Don’t get me wrong. I do move. I had to go all the way over there to get these biscuits. But I’m not committed to moving.

Maybe I should combine my thinking with some athletic efforts! I could record my blog posts with my handsfree kit as I run around the carpark outside the apt. Or maybe I could get a bicycle and a loud haler; go cycling around Kildare shouting, “Here’s a list of the people I love… ”

Yes! Yes, I think this might work you know… all I need to do is get my favourite Bible verses printed on a leotard (might not be room for ALL the Psalms…) and then I can show them gymnasts how it’s SUPPOSED to be done!

That’s it! That’s what I’m going to do. Just one more biscuit tho eh?

More Odes to… Twitter followers


These are fast becoming my favourite things to write 🙂

In order to curry favour and get more Twitter followers, I’ve started to offer a personal ‘Ode to’ every 25th one…

Ode to follower #300 @booksmusic72

Number 300 subscribed! How can he best be described?

Whirling & tranquil? English & Thankful…

t’was a Scot lost the tennis & cried?

 

Ode to follower #325 @aDublin Bus

Being followed by@ADublinBus is not so very curious

Whatever number he may drive he’ll always be my 325!

But will I have  to choo-as, twixt him & @aDublinLuas?

 

So who’s next? 🙂

Amo’s Believe it or Not!


I’ve decided to dabble in fiction! Yes, the truth it seems is not enough for me now. I’ve developed an itch to try my hand at a bit of story telling. I know… hard to believe!

(this stuff writes itself really…)

One of the more nagging things about the Christian life for me is the ‘insistance’ of truth. Now I don’t mean the ‘I’m right and your wrong’ type stuff. That’s a whole other rubik’s cube of delight :/ No I mean that the individual should live a life that is true. No telling lies. Accepting a situation as it is. Loving people as they are. Believing that God is real and present. There’s plenty of room for dreaming and envisioning what could be, but it’s vital to have honesty in the ‘now’. It took a long time to get used to that because I daydreamed a lot as a kid.

I didn’t have imaginery friends. I pretended that real people I knew, liked me more than they actually did, or thought I was cool, or wanted to hang out with me or go out with me.

I used to imagine complciated scenarios where I’d be rescued by famous people. I’ll only tell you this one and you’re NOT to laugh! But… I had a fully scripted imaginery scenario (on repeat in my head) that the drummer from Frankie Goes to Hollywood (yes the ugly guy with the perm and the tash) ran to my rescue at a Frankie concert (which I never went to) cos some other fans were trying to steal from me. I got a VIP pass to the after party which had lots of St. Ledger (it was all I drank at the time!) and crisps!

Yes my friends, the inside of my head did and continues to hold a menagerie of nonsense!

Anyway… welcome to Ficticious Amo! It is my new blog where I will make stuff up. I’ve only posted a couple of things. I’ve a couple others that are entered into comps so they can’t go up yet. I will add more soon.

Would love love love, some suggestions, scenarios – funny or otherwise to get me rolling with this stuff.

I did spend a short time wondering if ‘making stuff up’ was going to be good for me. But then I thought hang on, if it sheds a few pounds it’s GOT TO be good for me! All I have to do is choose the weight I WANT to be and make sure to post it in the right blog 🙂

But you know the ironic thing about all this… there are people who thought I was WAY cool and I never noticed. I only found out a few years ago that one of my nieces took ‘Annmarie’ as her confirmation name  cos of how cool I was. I’ve spoken to people who would have loved to hang around but me but didn’t cos they thought I was too popular and ‘zany’ to want them to talk to me.

I spoke to one guy who is STILL single cos he chickened out of asking me out at a school disco and hasn’t fancied anyone else since!

I made that last bit up by the way! This fiction stuff is a doddle! 🙂

Put the calories on wallpaper and I’ll re do my kitchen!


I am someone who struggles to make good food choices. I know I have a problem with food. And it’s not ONLY that I have two hands and just one mouth. Although that is a shame… 🙂 But I do wrestle with food issues and often lose the match. So I think the idea of putting calories on menus is a great idea.

Twitter is abuzz with differing opinions. Restaurants fearing the worst, nanny state gone mad with food policing. Then there’s comments about empowerment and best practice. There’s also a lot of talk about the fact that calorie counting is a thing of the past and that it’s the saturated fats (or the carbs – depending on what side of THAT argument you sit on!) that need to be counted.

I’ve also read comments about how fine dining is an indulgence and it would just ruin it for everyone. Apart from the fact that it would cost the already struggling restaurant owners a fortune!

You see from my perspective, I believe I have an addiction. Don’t misunderstand me. I think alocohol and drug problems are a much much bigger struggle for people and they have far more issues to cope with. But I’m a comfort eater who became a compulsive eater. But I can’t NOT eat ever again. I would love to be able to cut food out of my world, but I can’t. So anything that would help me at the moment of decision, is a help to me.

Going back to alcohol – there are %vol alocohol labels on wine bottles and I’ve never read one before buying a bottle of wine. Even if I did it wouldn’t affect my choice. (My wine choice is usually based on 1. is it Merlot? 2. is it under a tenner?!)

Let’s face it these days eating out is a treat. Not like a few years ago when it was almost commonplace! But for those who do spoil themselves a bit and maybe spend a few more quid than they really have on a meal out… they don’t want added guilt of the calorie count – I get that. Neither do I frankly!

I’ve only seen calories on a menu once. It was in the Kudos Bar in the Clarion Hotel in Liffey Valley and it did inform my choice. One of the dishes had a coconut based sauce (I think) and it was considerably higher than the other dish. So I opted for the lower one – it was fantastic, I really enjoyed it AND I had the benefit of feeling good that I had made a good decision.

So restaurateurs and food fans, you go fight the good fight if you don’t think this is a good thing. But I’m all for it.

After all I’m just a fat girl… sitting in front of a restaurant menu…. asking you to put the caesar dressing on the side!

Normal Service Resumed! Here’s another Ode…


OK after yesterday I’m back to normal. Enough now of the ranting! I’m going back to what I do! I mean that’s what you’ve come here for isn’t it?

You’ve come for the funny! Right?

*silence….

*tumbleweed…

*small frog ‘ribbits‘ in the distance…

#theawkwardmoment when you’re forced to start a sentence with #theawkwardmoment…

OK then, well here goes…

My Ode to Twitter follower #275 @irishtonyo who hails from Wexford 🙂

Ode to #275!
@irishtonyo now follows me ye’know!
I thought I’d have to strive, to get 275
But tony saved the day, though Dub beat Wex today!

Hear Ye, Hear Ye


So, himself and meself were going to a wedding and decided to treat ourselves to a night in the hotel as most of the wedding guests were doing the same.
I poured over the hotel’s website looking at the fab rooms and the posh restaurant. Under the stones at...

“Yippee” says I, “they have a Spa!”

“Ohhh great”, came the enthusiastic reply, “I’ll be able to get a paper”

“A SPA!” I shouted… “A SPA! NOT A SPAR!”

I’m not even going to get into the twisted logic of why a posh hotel would have a Spar in it. Or why he was more excited about a paper than even I was about the Jacuzzi!

It’s very easy to mishear stuff. And usually it’s because we’re not listening.

I’m intrigued by this phrase that Jesus used at the end of Luke 14…
“He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
I wonder if the reason we misunderstand each other and God’s Word is that we don’t listen.

There are many who do not have ears to hear. They’ve already decided they have no interest. They don’t believe in or care about God or what He has to say. It doesn’t make me angry, but it does make me sad. World events, political decisions, personal choices end up being made and responded to without the essential ‘eternal perspective’.

But those who have ‘an ear to hear’… we need to hear what God is saying. In the beginning of that verse, Jesus said, “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.”

It’s a challenge to us to be salt.
Not enough and we have no effect on the flavour.
Too much and we make people choke and want to spit!
But as Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt…”

Happily I have my own stock to Haribo to show you 🙂

 

Oh and by the way, we ended up having a lovely time in that hotel.
I’d love to stay there again… I hear they do a great hot stone massage… and 2-for-1 on the Haribo jellies!

Ode to my 250th Twitter follower


This morning I promised on Twitter that my 250th follower would get and ‘ode’ written to them.

In practice mode (and cos he wanted me to) I wrote a little ditty for @IrelandsEar

In Ireland there once was an Ear, his opinion on issues was clear.

He never got bitter when tweeting on Twitter, And hashtag’d #vinb with no fear

But here is the prize winner’s… eh… prize

Ode to @psneeze

Oh @psneeze with silent p that doth tweet eloquently.

You choose to follow me? Number 250!

And I shall follow thee, until sneeze begins with p

5 reasons why you should nominate me in Blog Awards Ireland


1. Actually…. you probably shouldn’t  nominate me! (Reverse psychology… it’s yer only man!)
But seriously folks… there are better blogs, updated more, regularly by clevererer people! I am well aware that I’m chancing my arm here!

2. Ignoring no.1… You probably shouldn’t nominate me!
I’m not an expert on anything! I talk about God, food, music, my family, myself and numerous other random subjects that I’m not an authority on! This is no place to get useful information on anything!

3. Ignoring  no. 1 and no. 2… You probably shouldn’t nominate me!
Lots of bloggers seem to have great tips on how to get people to read your blog. I only have one and it’s totally bogus! Here it is anyway… put the list of priest’s names that Mrs Doyle said when she was guessing Fr. Todd Uncious’ name! I’m not kidding… since I added that post I’ve never been as popular!!!

4. Ignoring no. 1 and no. 2 and no. 3… You probably shouldn’t nominate me!
This is the first year of the new ‘Blog Awards Ireland’! These guys are trying to build a reputation that will stand them in the future! I’m hardly an ambassador for anything other than inane drivel!!! They won’t thank you for it….

5. Ignoring no. 1 and no. 2 and no. 3 and no.4… You probably shouldn’t nominate me!
I’ve nothing to wear to an awards bash! And really… can you see me getting up on stage and making a speech???? Come on now!!!

Well now! There’s five good reasons for nominating me 🙂

I’ve done my best to convince you! If I don’t win, it won’t be my fault!

Mrs Doyle’s list of priests…. :)


I was doing a bit of surfing (internet that is…) and I came across this list!!!

It will only mean something to you if you have seen Fr. Ted. And if you have seen the episode when Todd Unctious comes to stay and Mrs. Doyle insists on guessing his name.

Someone has taken the time to put the list on the internet!!!!

Who does something like that? Sits there with a pen and paper and the remote control ready to pause…!

Actually it does sound like something I would do….

Anywya, in your best Mrs Doyle accent, take a deep breath… here we go…

Fr. Andy Riley,
Fr. Desmond Coyle,
Fr. George Byrne,
Fr. David Nicholson,
Fr. Declan Lynch,
Fr. Ken Sweeney,
Fr. Neil Hannon,
Fr. Keith Cullen,
Fr. Ciaran Donnelly,
Fr. Mick McEvoy,
Fr. Jack White,
Fr. Henry Bigbigging,
Fr. Hank Tree,
Fr. Hiroshima Twinkie
Fr. Stig Bubblecard,
Fr. Johnny Hellzapoppin’ ,
Fr. Luke Duke,
Fr. Billy Ferry,
Fr. Chewy Louie,
Fr. John Hoop,
Fr. Hairycake Linehan,
Fr. Rebulah Conundrum,
Fr. Peewee Stairmaster,
Fr. Jemima Racktool,
Fr. Jerry Twig,
Fr. Spodo Komodo,
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer.
Fr. Todd Unctious

YES!!!!!

Don’t tell me you got to the end of that list without laughing 😀

Music on a Monday – I am a dancer (well in my heart anyway)


You know those questions… “Tell us one thing about you that no one else would know”
Well my thing would be that I love to dance.

Now if you’ve seen me lately, you’ll know i’m not the most delicate of creatures but that rarely stops me 🙂

There is definitely a dancer inside me. (in fact there’s room for a couple of them.) I can’t help it.

I’ve even done… wait for it…. The Hannah Montana Hoedown Throwdown.

A couple of years ago a gang of family were going to Boston for a family wedding. We decided that all the girls would learn the dance for the reception.
Got a REAL dancer to teach us the moves.

And at the wedding reception we all got up and went for it.

I was good, I felt good, I knew the moves, I did the moves, I looked ridiculous.

Looks likes the inner dancer is staying where she is… 😦

Yes, there are photos and no, you can’t see them.