Category: Getting to grips with God stuff

Well I am a Christian…

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – Y is for Yahtzee

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YY is for Yahtzee

Himself introduced me to Yahtzee when we met. We love to play it, it’s a great game when there’s just the two of you – not many of them about.

He had the same 5 dice and little plastic tub to shake them in, for years. So one Christmas I decided to buy him a new set, complete with bright new shiny dice, colour score cards, a funky collapsible small dice shaker, all fitting in to a larger tub also used to throw the dice in (reducing risk of having to chase them around the floor). The wonderful thing is that he bought me the exact same present that year. One of them went back and was exchanged for another game which I’m not sure we’ve ever played.

Playing Yahtzee represents ‘our time.’ There’s no TV, usually some music in the background, we chat, we get a little bit competitive and we laugh. I suspect life will get busier and more stressful, and he won’t always be able to share things with me.

Part of my job as PW will be to make sure we always have time for Yahtzee (and that I win 😀 ).

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – X is for Xenial

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XX is for Xenial

Xenial is to be hospitable, especially to strangers or foreigners. (It is also defined as having something to do with pollinating flowers, but we’ll leave that for now 🙂 )

Himself and meself have been made so welcome by our church family. Already we feel like we know each other; since the very beginning we’ve felt at home. Back when it was new and a bit unnerving, waiting for the final decision to be made, we were always welcomed with open arms and hearts.

I grew up hearing a particular phrase regularly. “You’re in your Granny’s.” It means, you can relax, sit where you want to, help yourself to whatever you’d like. I remember a few years ago a missionary couple were doing some church visits near us and the accommodation they’d arranged had fallen through. We were asked to put them up. We had plenty  of space, so we said yes. I was worried though. They were going to be with us for a week; going out to different meetings; sometimes here for dinner, other days for lunch. I wanted them to feel like they were ‘in their granny’s’ and desperately hoping that wouldn’t mean them driving me mad.

They arrived late the after a meeting, and then they’d unpacked their car and coats were off, I asked if they would like anything before they went to bed. The answer came, “Do you mind if I have some toast please?” That night over tea and toast we became firm friends. I love that they felt comfortable to ask, and they loved the toast. To this day they are dear to us and we’ve visited them a few times for toast and chats.

Living on site means that we could have more visitors than we expect, at unexpected times. We want to keep the balance of having time to ourselves, but also sharing our time and our home with others. I hope we will always be ‘xenial’ as others were to us when we came here first. The only reason I cannot call them ‘xenial’ anymore is that we are no longer strangers, we’re family. x

The A to Z of the Pastor’s W…

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WW is for Writer, Worker, Wife, Worshipper

I am a massive fan of Les Miserables. One of my fave songs, and moments of the show is when Jean Valjean sings. “Who am I?” He cannot deny who he really is and at risk to himself and his soon to be adopted daughter, he reveals his true identity.

The above list doesn’t sum me up totally, I can make a mean banana bread and am also a high-ranking expert in The After Eight Game. 🙂 I have always liked to have a mix of interests. I prefer to work, my least productive seasons are always the ones when I have lots of time on my hands. I work better when I’m busy.

I’ve had to rethink and rejig my time a bit over the last while. My writing has never really taken off again since I came back to the UK at the end of 2014. It’s a great source of frustration for me, but I have to let it come back in God’s time and at his pace. I know I’ll get into my stride again.

My job is not ‘difficult’ as such. It’s wonderful to be just around the corner and just part-time. Having been 15 years in donor support for charities, this is a different type of customer service. I can’t always give the customer the answer they are looking for, and I don’t like that. I’m much happier always being the bearer of good news…

I love being married. Himself is an absolute star and reminds me that he is my husband first and my pastor second; so i give myself permission to be his wife first, the pastor’s wife second. 🙂 We’ve been through the mill over the years. He’s been a steady rock in many stormy seas. I am blessed.

More than anything though, I want to be a worshipper. If I put my energies into that, my hope is that the other parts of my life will fall into place, in the right way at the right time. The only way I’ll do this thing right, is to stay close to God. Worship Him. Keep my eyes fixed and my heart open.

Who am I?

His!

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – V is for Variety

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VV is for Variety

Don’t worry, I’m not going to do songs from the shows with some comedy and a bit of juggling thrown in. Although I wouldn’t rule it out in the future 🙂

I thought it might be good to hear from another pastor’s wife, and her thoughts on this life. Harriet is one of the ladies I meet, mentioned in the F is for Fellowship post.

The following link will take you to a blog post she recently wrote about ‘Being a Pastor’s wife‘.

Enjoy!

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – U is for Useful & Useless

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UU is for Useful and Useless

We’re nearing the end of the AtoZ Challenge. ‘U’ marks the start of the last week. Thank you all so much for reading and popping by; for liking and commenting. It’s been a great encouragement.

I haven’t read nearly as many as I would have liked to, but the AtoZ Reflections post and the AtoZ Roadtrip will give me time to catch up.

If you haven’t been following from the start, I used the theme of being a pastor’s wife so I could explore the many thoughts and feelings I have about the whole thing. Himself has been a Pastor since December of last year. We’re a few years older than most who start this work and still finding our feet. As I’ve mentioned before, the role of the ‘Pastor’ is well defined and a lot clearer than that of the spouse. I’m trying to learn what I should do and what I can do.

I don’t want to swoosh around in a flurry of activity hoping to look and feel useful, like I’m fulfilling some previously unattended purpose. Nor do I want to sit around doing nothing – which I could do because the church is very well run and looked after.

In Wednesday’s ‘W’ post, I’m going to explore this a little more as I write about who, and what, I am. One thing that has come up in a few posts is this – I can only be who I am. if I try to be anyone else it’ll be false and unnatural. I wish I could be, and give, more; but I’m pretty sure being myself is how I can of most use.

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – S is for Sisterhood

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SS is for Sisterhood

Once a week, a group of ladies from our church and other churches meet together for Sisterhood.

I had an idea of Sisterhood meetings in my head. They didn’t seem like my cup of tea at all. Far too quiet and formal for my liking.

I’ve been joyfully surprised by the Sisterhood meetings at our church. They are lively and fun. We have a mix of speakers, a couple of songs, some lovely chat and prayer; and of course a cup of tea and some cake.

I have been blessed far more than I thought I would be. I’ve been challenged too about my preconceptions and presumptions. I have laughed my head off, and cried my eyes out with these women. I’ve learned a lot and had an opportunity to share too. (Including children’s songs with actions – these women are nothing if not young at heart. 🙂 )

Amongst this group, there’s a love for God and His Word. And a love for each other that has shown me what Sisterhood really is. Not a meeting; a family.

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – T is for Tea

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TT is for Tea

Himself loves an ol’ cup of tea. His mother tells me that since she put a drop on a spoon and gave it to him, when he was still in his high chair, he loved it and has been a serious tea drinker ever since. (We can only thank God it wasn’t whisky she put on the spoon!)

The cup of tea (or coffee) after our church services is such a great event. Being a small church, most people who are on refreshments duty know who drinks what. So when you get to the counter, often your drink is handed to you just as you like it. I’ve done refreshments once or twice and the queue always takes longer to pass as I don’t have the list off by heart – yet.

Fellowship over a cuppa is a marvellous thing. It’s a vital part of church life. It’s how my brothers and sisters in Christ have become my friends. It’s how I’ve learned about their lives. It’s how I’ve come to understand a little more about what makes them tick. Not for general information gathering or to be ‘in the know’. I want to know so I can be of use, so I can pray intelligently, and I want them to be able to do the same for me.

The kettle is always on in our house, and regularly on in the church hall.
I find that very… refreshing 🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – R is for Reading Room

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RR is for Reading Room

Himself has an office. It’s in the same building as the one we live in; but he has to leave the flat and enter the building through another door.

It has meant that, for the first time, we don’t need to have an office in our home. We’ve always had one: between me working from home, us both being students, and working for ourselves for a while.

So, the extra bit of space we have, is officially called ‘The Reading Room’. It’s also a writing room. I suppose that might make it an office, but it’s got a different feel to it. Our hope is to try to keep it from being too ‘busy’ a space.

I have this (probably wild and unrealistic) vision of me sitting in calm and solitude in that room, or sitting chatting and praying with himself or others. That type of quiet, organised, reflective life doesn’t sound like me; but what is it they said they said about the Field of Dreams?

‘If you build it, they will come.’

Well I’ve got the room, let’s see if the quiet follows it. 🙂

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – Q is for Queen

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QQ is for Queen

I heard something the other day and thought to myself, “I love this church.”

There’s a lot of talk and coverage of the Queens’ s 90th birthday. There are many celebrations happening on a local and national level.

Someone asked if the church were having any sort of recognition or celebration of it. The church had a lovely celebration tea for the Queen’s diamond jubilee. But this time there would be no celebration. Well… Not for the Queen.

It turns out that one of our members is turning 90 too. Her family wanted to hold a celebration in the church hall. We couldn’t really have two 90th birthday parties…  so our member’s celebration has taken precidence.

It’s only a small thing, but I was so blessed that, without hesitation, our lovely lady was a priority.

The A to Z of the Pastor’s Wife – P is for Perks

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PP is for Perks

I did mention, back in H is for home, that I would talk about ‘the perks of the job’ in today’s post (which should be yesterday’s post, but never mind.) Our home is definitely a perk. But there are many others.

There’s a great list of perks in the book I mentioned in the F post; The Minister’s Wife, by Ann Benton. Included are benefits such as: fame, a family to love, and the prayers of the saints. These ones really stood out to me.

It may seem a bit obnoxious to like the idea of a little bit of ‘fame’, but as I mentioned before, I do thrive in a crowd and I enjoy the opportunity to entertain 🙂 But the fame has other benefits linked to it; like the prayers of the saints. The church were praying for us for a year before they met us. They didn’t know who the pastor would be, or what family he had. They just prayed… For us. And they are still doing it, fervently and faithfully.

And a family to love? Marvellous, bring it on. I was raised in a big family and have always loved being surrounded by ‘my people’. This church that I’m a part of now, this flock that himself is the shepherd of – they are another family I can love. What a perk!

Ann Benton’s book is helpfully realistic. She’s quick to remind us that there are sacrifices to be made, and that this is a position of service. There’s no doubt that there are many positives to the role. I just need to remember, whether I’m experiencing the perks or the pains…
It’s a privilege. 🙂