Guest Post by Ruth Gyves: the Twists & Turns of Life

On 09/05/201401/04/2018 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Guest Posts, Spirit Radio1 Comment

A warm welcome to my guest on the blog today – Ruth Gyves 🙂 She was with me on the Wednesday Night show on Spirit Radio this week. I’ll let her tell her story…

Last Wednesday night, I made my debut on Spirit Radio. I was the guest on the lovely Annmarie Miles’ show. We spent time chatting about finding God in the twists and turns of life, in the context of some of my own life experiences. Here is a summary of our discussion.

I am an ordinary person living an ordinary life – my story doesn’t consist of thunderbolts and lightning! I am from Dublin, the youngest of a family of 5 and was brought up in a church going family; I had a great childhood. At the age of 11, at a camp in Greystones I responded to the verse in Revelation 3:20 that says ‘Behold I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in’. I had just discovered it was not automatic that I would get to heaven, and the guarantee I sought was to ask Jesus into my heart. Simple? At that age it seemed so, but of course life is not that simple. The journey begun on that camp so long ago, has consisted of many twists and turns but has always brought me back to knowing that no matter what I go through, God is real; His love for me is real, his forgiveness is absolute and he gives peace, hope and security that nothing else can give.

As I reached the end of my teens, I had a ‘burning bush’ experience at another camp when I could almost hear God speaking from a bonfire. I couldn’t actually hear him speak, but the sense of his presence was so strong, I knew there was more to this Christian life than just the security of heaven.

I married in 1984, have 3 grown up children and a beautiful granddaughter, Amelia who is 5 years old. Over the years, life has thrown many surprises at me such as the breakup of my marriage, bringing up 3 children through difficult teenage years, and walking with my 18 year old daughter (and my sons) through the loss of her little baby, Ruby.

Some months before my daughter became pregnant, I didn’t know why but my heart was stirred to ask 3 people from my church to pray for my children. I can’t help but wonder how we would have got through that difficult year, if I hadn’t had that prayer cover. I don’t know why it all happened, and I might never know, but I do know that God was very real to me in the pain and sadness we experienced.

So many negative things happened at once; the illness and subsequent death of my dad, a wayward teenage daughter and a long drawn out divorce process. My closeness to God was not as strong as it is now but I was conscious of God walking with me and hanging on to me when my grip was slipping. Often it was hard to put on my positive face and keep going – times when getting through a whole day was difficult, so I broke my day down into slots – breakfast to lunch, lunch to dinner, dinner to bedtime! As time went on, I was able to look at whole days together and things became less difficult.

How did I find my way back? How did I find God again in the twists and turns?

Four key practical things that got me through, and continue to strengthen me on my journey are these:

Prayer
I pray about everything, all the time! I used to give God a list of issues and how I thought he should ‘solve’ them. God often has different ideas and I have learned that praying for God’s solution is better. I was unemployed during 2009 and through that year I saw God’s provision for me in a very real way. One month when money was very short, an anonymous bank draft for exactly the amount I needed came in the post. I believe that God’s way of answering my cry was to prompt someone who knew my plight to respond through generosity.

The Bible
The book of Psalms is a great place to start. I have found endless strength and encouragement in reading the writings of David and others, in all sorts of situations. Psalms like 46 ‘God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble’ or 62 ‘My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.’ It’s through reading the bible that I have learned so much about the God in whom I trust and rely on. If I want to know about someone famous, I’ll read about them – if I want to know about God, then reading Scripture is exactly where I’ll find him.

Writing/Journaling
Writing has been a great way to make sense of it all. I write anything – prayers, thoughts, rants, poetry. It has been a huge encouragement to me to look back over the many many notebooks I have written in and see how God has led me and ‘worked it all out’. Just like the children of Israel – it was when they looked back, they could see all God had done for them. I write about hopes and dreams, reviews at the end of the year – anything and everything. One day I’ll write a book…

People
This may be the most important. I am blessed with people in my life who have supported and challenged me. I have also found it essential to be part of a church family where I can learn and grow with other people who love God and are willing to walk with me on my journey. We were not made to be alone – finding someone to walk with me, cry with me, laugh with me, bless me and encourage me has been vital in finding my way through the storm.

There is so much more that I could have shared on the show if time had allowed – and so much more I could share here. Perhaps this might not be the last you’ll hear of me!!
Ruth 🙂

photo credits:
Ruth supplied her own photo
Mary Anne Thygesen via photopin cc

Encouragement!

On 02/05/201402/05/2014 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Spirit Radio3 Comments

On Wednesday night on Spirit Radio we were talking about encouragement; how important it is and different ways we can encourage each others.

Our prime example in the Bible is Barnabas. His name means Son of Encouragement – and he really lived up to it. He was not just a chuck-on-the-shoulder kinda guy. He was practically (Acts 4:35-37) and spiritually (Acts 11:21-23) encouraging – he also was into giving a second chance to people who had messed up (Acts 15:36-40).

He was right hand man to Paul for a time. He wasn’t the dynamic up front leader that Paul was; but he had great wisdom and discernment. Made me wonder if that goes hand in hand with being an encourager. We can plamaus people til the cows come home. Praise people when they don’t deserve it, because we don’t know what to say. But I reckon it takes great wisdom to honestly encourage someone even if they have failed. Encouragement is probably more important and valuable in times of failure than in times of success.

So how can we be encouragers?
On a practical note, babysit for parents who need a night out. Maybe we can’t afford to pay for groceries for someone, but we could go get them. Some cleaning maybe? Or collecting kids from school.

Spiritually we can pray with or for people. We can share some Scripture verses, or maybe an encouragement we ourselves have received from a sermon or a chat with a friend.

The other thing I love about Barnabas’ example is how he insisted on giving John Mark a second chance. I think giving a second chance is one of the most powerful things we can do for someone. It’s what God has done for us – it might be the best form of encouragement we can give.

A few other points that came up…
Encouragement stops hardship from being meaningless
Encouragement makes it easier to live in a fallen world
Encouragement makes it easier to love
Encouragement gives hope
Encouragement nutures patience and kindness

And if you’re in need of encouragement…

God is in control
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Rom 8:28
When trials come that are out of our control, we can rest on this promise that if we are saved and love God, He will work all these things together for our good. It is just like a piece of embroidery which looks a mess on the back, but when you turn it over it is a beautiful work of art.

Don’t worry, pray
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6,7 We are commanded not to be anxious. To help us not to worry we should pray specifically about our problem with thanksgiving, and God will give us peace.

Don’t say “I can’t”
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13
How often do we say, “I can’t cope” or when faced with something God wants us to, “I can’t”? In Christ, we can because He strengthens us, but we need to depend on Him and pray for His strength.

Don’t give up
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Gal 6:9
We should keep persevering at doing the right thing, because even if it seems like we’re not getting anywhere, in time we will bear fruit.

What to think about
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Phil 4:8
When we struggle bad thoughts, we need to figure out good things to meditate on instead.

A lost thought… we need to make sure that we’re not trite or smug – even if we don’t mean to be. If we’re on a hilltop, let’s make sure we do more than just describe the view. Let’s lift others up so they can see it for themselves 🙂

photo credit: Key Foster via photopin cc
sources: 20 Key Bible verses for everyday problems and GotQuestions.org

The too-long Facebook status update on why I’m not writing a Good Friday blog post…

On 18/04/201418/04/2014 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff4 Comments

This started out by me updating my Facebook status saying ‘I don’t think I have a Good Friday post in me today. #heavyheart and all that.’ Then I kept typing…

‘Reading my Good Friday post from last Easter it feels like it was written by someone else. It’s like I’m a different person from who I was this time last year. Life has been a game of snakes and ladders for me. Am praying for the strength to start climbing again.’

Still not too long for a Facebook post? I’ve seen longer… but I wasn’t finished.

I don’t really want to write another ‘Oh I feel so depressed’ blog post. I really don’t. I want to be happy and I want to be able to say out loud that I’m happy. But I feel like I’ve a heaviness settled upon me that I can’t rise above. I suppose that is grief; and I’m recovering (or not) from compounded grief at the moment. Two very different but big losses in the space of 3 months.

I think of Jesus carrying His cross to Calvary and I know I’m supposed to consider my ‘light and momentary troubles’ (2 Corinthians 4) as nothing compared to what He has done for us. And I’m trying to. I really am. But today l can’t find light and momentary.

Last year was so exciting. All the writing opportunities and the literary festivals and launching the book. I really felt that my writing career was taking off. No notions of being rich and famous – just published and out there. And yes I am that. But this year I was supposed to continue that and improve on that but I don’t know if I can. As I said I feel like it’s always snakes and ladders with me. I keep sliding back down and have to drag myself back to the bottom rung and start again.

Maybe that is everyone’s life and it just doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing. But it really really doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing.

One thing I know about Good Friday is that Sunday is coming. I doubt I’ll be back on form within 48 hours but resurrection day is coming.

After my mam died in 2005 I felt overwhelmed with the sadness that the previous few years had brought. God led me to this verse; I had it on a piece of paper, taped to my pc monitor in work. 1 Peter 5:10

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

I feel like I’m in need of this promise again. Starting that journey (again) to restoration and steadfast-ness. I wish I didn’t have to take the journey (again), but for some reason I do.

Tonight in our church service I’ll be singing… ‘and with every breath that I am given I will sing salvation’s song.’ As I read this back, it doesn’t sound much like salvation’s song. But then again Psalm 40 verse 2 says ‘he lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand’
Firm… steadfast…exactly what I need right now.

So maybe it’s not that far away salvation’s song after all.

Verse 1 of that Psalm says ‘I waited patiently for the Lord and he turned to me and heard my cry.’
So here I am… waiting…

I am sure about one thing tho…. this was far too long for a Facebook post.

photo credits
Snakes and Ladders: weesen via photopin cc
Cross: used with permission from @vickymiti

Easter is over there…

On 16/04/201416/04/2014 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuffLeave a comment

Hi Everyone

I would have loved to do something on Easter but I’m up to my eye balls and wouldn’t want to half do it. So if you’re interested, my husband is doing a series of short blog posts on the Easter theme. Nothing too deep, just some reflections on these days leading up to Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

Although when you think about it, it doesn’t get much deeper than… Jesus died for our sins. He rose again, conquering death!

Pop over to Richard’s blog, Thinkings – he’d love to see you there A 😉

photo credit: Luz Adriana Villa A. via photopin cc

Making Changes

On 08/04/201402/05/2014 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Spirit RadioLeave a comment

Last Wednesday on Spirit Radio I was talking to our regular guest Sharon who’ll be leaving Ireland for Spain soon. We talked about making big changes to our lives and I mentioned that if we’re not ready to head off to foreign climes – maybe there are some small changes we can make to our lives…

Join something new – if you’re feeling your church life is a bit stale, it may not be time to move – just time to get involved in something different. Put your name down for the coffee rota, or youth group.
If there isn’t a fellowship group then start one. A pizza and a movie or a game of bowling is all it takes to get some folk together to have a laugh.
Try to think about positive things – counting your blessings might seem like an ‘old concept’ but if you write down a list of some of the things you have, you’ll be encouraged
Nurture the relationships you have – Sharon said last week, ‘Give flowers to people while they’re alive.” Let’s not wait to say or do nie things now. Rather than waiting to write a nice ‘goodbye’ message on a card – say all those nice things to the people around you now…

I’ll be back on Spirit Radio tomorrow night after 10pm (GMT) with more positive and I hope, inspirational chat 🙂

A x

This life was meant to shine

On 18/02/201424/02/2014 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuffLeave a comment

As I write I’m almost submerged under a duvet – tissues on one side, paracetamol on the other. So it’s hard to get into the mood of writing about the above title. Problem is, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. I haven’t written here for almost a month. Although I’ve been busy with other writing, it’s been hard to write here cos, I don’t make stuff up here.

This blog has always been about the way things are – no fiction allowed. My last two posts are about sadness and it’s all I felt I could write. Didn’t want to write more of that, so… I didn’t write anything. For the last two weeks I’ve had an ‘ear worm’. You know when you hear a song and it won’t go away. Well my ear worm is ‘This Life’ by MercyMe. I had a random old playlist on my iphone and the song came on. Hadn’t heard it in ages – even though it’s one of my faves.

There’s a few words in the song that struck me as I sang along.

“Hold your heads up high
This is our moment to rise
We were meant to shine
Not just survive”

We were meant to shine, not just survive. It occurred to me that for a good few weeks I’ve been ‘surviving’. Not being dramatic or anything, but a lot of days have been… “ok just do what you can do today. What NEEDS to be done today? Who needs to be paid today? Just get through today and you’ll be fine.”

There must be a balance between what it says in Matthew 6 “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” – and doing more than just surviving.

I’m not quite sure what it is, but maybe even saying it out loud is the first step to finding out 🙂

Meanwhile, it’s a fab song – give it a listen.

I’ll never be the same again

On 25/01/201426/01/2014 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Random RamblingsLeave a comment

The last two weeks have changed me forever and I know I’ll never be the same again.

I don’t mean that I will always grieve or that I will always be sad. I know that over time I will get used to the fact that my dear friend Tom O’Gorman is gone; and the ‘how’ of his death will become easier to bear.

I know this because I remember in 2002 when it was confirmed I would never have children, I thought I’d never get over it. I lost my ‘sparkle’ and thought I’d never get it back. But I did. It took many years and still at times it makes me sad. But it turned out that it’s true…
Time heals almost everything.

I remember at my lowest, God brought me to this verse, 1 Peter 5:10
“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”
I clung to that promise then and I do so again now; the promise that Christ himself, will restore me, will confirm me, will strengthen me and will establish me.

When I say I’ll never be the same again what I mean is, I’ll never look at the newspaper headlines the same again. I’ll never pass a shocking front page and wow for 20 seconds before returning to what I was doing without further thought. I’ll never see a leader without knowing that there are people who will be distressed by the giant printed words on a page. I will never trust the papers again. To my knowledge, nothing they reported was untrue. But they were not compassionate, they were not caring or kind. I wouldn’t have expected The Sun to be anyway – but I expected more and better from The Independent. And I will never look at their business in quite the same way.

So though I am sad now, I will not always be sad. But I will always remember that behind the dramatic headlines there are people hurting and grieving.
And I think that makes it a good thing, that I will never be the same again.

Added note (27th Jan 2014) I should add that my comments above re newspaper headlines, refer to the initial reports of Tom’s death. I acknowledge that there were some lovely tributes reported in the following days.

On the loss of a dear friend, Tom O’Gorman

On 14/01/2014 By auntyamoIn Family, Getting to grips with God stuff14 Comments

One of the photos on Tom's FB wall. It means 'Love conquers all' — One of the photos on Tom’s FB wall.
It means ‘Love conquers all’

I wish I was writing this on my fiction blog. A tale that I made up in a mad creative moment. But no… it really happened. The life of my lovely friend Tom was taken in a way which I can hardly believe and certainly cannot put here.

I met Tom on Independence Day 2012. Though we’d had a bit of Facebook banter before then. We met to help our mutual American friend, far from home, celebrate the 4th of July. Within a few minutes we were slagging each, other which for me is always a good sign. 🙂 I’d travelled on public transport that night and there was no way he would let me walk across town to the Luas stop on my own. He took an alternative (and convoluted) route home so that he could walk with me. He was a total gentleman – in every sense.

He had many interests – politics, faith, ethics, law, history and sport to name a few. He was way cleverer than me and though we talked about faith and work a lot, most of the time we laughed and joked. He had such a fantastic sense of humour. He was a great writer and told me that he would love to try his hand at writing comedy. He thought I was funny too – not a comedienne though… he said I was more a humourist. I liked that 🙂 He thought I was funnier in person than on paper though. So we decided that we’d give it a go and write a comedy sketch together. Sadly we never got around to it.

Over the last few months I could sense a deepening in his devotion to God and when we talked, it was more and more about spiritual matters. He was eager to serve God more and better and he shared with me some of his hopes and plans for the next few years. It is painful to think they will not come to pass. He became like a big brother figure in my life. Checking in with me regularly, asking me how I was. Always promising to pray for me, which I’m sure he did.

Tom had many many friends. Most of them knew him longer and I’m sure better than me. But over the last 18 months we became great buddies. Or ‘budsos’ as we called each other.

Tom had an amazing range of accents and was even better at the ‘Tallaght’ accent than I was. Our parting greeting was usually in ‘Tallafornian’.
He’d always say something along the lines of…

“See ya soon bud yeah?”

My answer always was – and is today, “Deffo!”

*****

My sincere condolences and prayers go to his family, work colleagues, friends and all who mourn the loss of such a great guy

I hope the folk from Pro Life Campaign Ireland don’t mind that I used this lovely photo of Tom that they posted on FB yesterday…

Turn around when possible…

On 04/01/201401/04/2018 By auntyamoIn April AtoZ, Getting to grips with God stuff, Random Ramblings1 Comment

You know when you’re about to set off on a journey but the sat nav hasn’t given you your first instruction yet? So you move forward so it knows which way you’re heading and then (usually in my case) it says its favourite words – ‘turn around when possible!’

The start of 2014 has me feeling a little bit nervous about which way I should go. I’ve never had a great sense of direction and have regularly taken wrong turns – even with sat nav help. I’ve been looking back at some blog posts and it seems I’m the same in life. I’ve shared a few posts on this before, not knowing where to go or what to do next. But through the year things happened with God opening some surprising doors and in some cases he closed doors It thought were for me.
2013 has been fantastic though – who would have thought it would turn out like it did?

This seems to be a time for reviews… so here’s my quick look back at 2013.

Attended the launch of the National Emerging Writer’s Programme and took to some serious writing
Did the AtoZ Challenge & 1City1Book in April
Stopped short of the Masters in Theology and finished with a Post Grad Diploma (so I could go write some other stuff)
Shortlisted for Blog Awards Ireland
Quit @auntyamo on Twitter to re-emerge as @amowriting
Was made redundant from my 9to5 job
Got to be involved in the Red Line & Dublin Book Festivals as well as the Dublin Christian Arts Festival
Completed NaNoWriMo
PUBLISHED A BOOK! with Emu Ink (still ‘whooping’ over that one 😀 )
Prepared myself to say goodbye to my dad for the third time in my life and… he’s still with us.

Most of that stuff was a complete surprise to me and certainly not where I thought I was heading. And I have no idea what is in store for 2014. So all I can do is start moving. I think I know what way to go, but if I’m going the wrong way my prayer is that God will speak to me. God is my ultimate sat nav and I trust Him to direct me and when I go the wrong way, to tell me to ‘turn around when possible.’

Happy New Year everyone, and thanks all your visits and comments in 2013 x

photo credit: gwgs via photopin cc

More than you could ask or imagine

On 11/12/201311/12/2013 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Writing, Blogging etc1 Comment

There’s a series of Christmas stories over on my fiction blog, Fictitious Amo, one each day by a different author. I’m delighted with the contributions. You should take a look… 🙂

In the meantime – my lastest musings…

I’d heard about it lots of times but I don’t remember experiencing it.

It’s quite possible that I actually experience it every day and never notice. Maybe having clean air and clean water and a roof over my head… That could well be it and I just never spotted it.

But whether I’ve experienced it before or not, I’ve only noticed it recently. For the first time I know what it’s like to receive more than I could ask or imagine.

I’ve wanted to be great at something for ages and not known if I ever would be. I’ve wanted to shine; not brighter than everyone else, but brighter than I ever had & brighter than I ever thought I could.

I spend so much time swatting the flies of guilt and failure, and it’s very tiring. But after years of being good at things but never quite cutting the mustard, I seem to have found something I’m great at. (Dare I say it…?) Something I’m really really great at.

The process of writing and publishing my first book has been a miracle really. From the financial gift handed to me by a good friend at the very beginning, that basically paid for half of it. To the surprise opportunity to do an extra term of teaching, which paid for the other half. The response of the publisher and her hard work, and now the response of the readers, especially the authors who spoke at my two launch events.
One of them said I “weave magic with words”. About me… he said that about ME!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked God to allow me to be great at something. To fill the space left by the years of longing to be a great mother. To be able to point at something and say, “I did that and it’s bloody good. I’m proud of it.”

God is my ultimate inspiration and I mean it when I say in the book.
‘Though you are not explicitly mentioned in this book, every redemptive moment every opportunity for forgiveness and every glimpse of hope is inspired by your Good News!”

Well… now I know. Now I know what it’s like to receive more than I could ask or imagine.
Nothing to do with money or success. Just something I can give that people enjoy.

My favourite currency.

photo credit: Raoul Luoar via photopin cc