Five Minute Friday – Broken

Our neighbour knocked at the door the other day to borrow our tin-can opener. She then arrived back at the door, slightly red-faced to say that as she gave it the first turn, the whole thing came apart in her hand.

tin opener
Our shiny new tin opener.
But I’m not so easily replaced!

She literally handed it back to me in about 8 pieces. Little tiny screws, the big handle, the twisty-turny bit (not the technical term I’m sure). She was very apologetic and promised to replace it and apologised again. But obvs I told her it was ok not to worry. Most likely the next time I’d picked it up it would have fallen apart and it was just a ‘time & place’ thing.

But I did ponder it for a while. Because I’ve often felt just one twist or turn away from breaking and no one would know, It’s not something that can be seen. Just like the tin opener!

I’ve felt it many times over the years… that feeling that I just can’t take any more pain or disappointment.
One more turn and I’ll fall apart into not 8 but 80 pieces, and I’ll never be put back again.

And though I’ve felt like that on occasion, almost broken – I’ve never quite fallen apart.

I am bruised,
God literally only knows how I am bruised!
But He has not allowed me to be broken… 🙂

Five Minute Friday – Belong

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Belong’

I deliberately didn’t go to something recently cos I genuinely didn’t feel I belonged there.
Even though the invitation was open to all who saw it. 

I actually was sick with nerves at the thought of being there. And it’s not the first time it has happened. I get terrible ‘event anxiety’. People who know me well and read this will probably be surprised, some might even think I’m making it up.

But I get stressed and nervous and have stupid panic-attack style moments that I don’t fit in, I’m not welcome, I don’t belong. It’s actually been going on for years.

No doubt a psychologist would be able to work out some deep-rooted issue that would explain it. I’m fairly confident that I have a raft of them to choose from. 🙂
Sitting here, I know it’s totally irrational and to some degree silly,
but there you have it.

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Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday – Beautiful

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Beautiful’

It is a beautiful day today.
It’s the second last day of my trip to the UK to visit family and friends.
The weather has been beautiful for most of the week. I think we had one day of rain, other than that, the sun has shone.

porthcawl panoama
I took this when we visited Porthcawl on Thursday 🙂

It’s been great to catch up with everyone, to find out what’s happening in their lives. Some of the ‘kids’ I knew when I was a youth leader in the church are at college or even done with college and getting married. Young whippersnappers who were a ‘handful’ in Young People’s group are now mature young adults, following God and heading out to serve him whether in standard 9to5 work or for Christian organisations.

Older folk who have seen many changes, many of whom have lost a spouse, are still praising God in it all and encouraged to see new life in the church.

It would be wrong to say there are no difficulties or challenges, but we’ve been encouraged to see God’s grace in the lives of those we love.

As I type we’re driving south to see more family and like I said at the beginning, it’s a great day. And not just because of the weather either… 🙂
We’ve seen the faithfulness of God this week and it’s beautiful!

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Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday – Rhythm

Here we go with this week’s Five Minute Friday
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Rhythm’

I’m very strict when it comes to timing.
I don’t mean time keeping, I’m rubbish at that. No, I mean rhythm…

I teach singing and guitar and I’m always trying to drum it in to my pupils (pardon the pun) – the importance of keeping the beat. The whole thing falls apart if the beat isn’t right.

Rhythm… it’s all about the rhythm… No point in 12 quick beats and then nothing for a few seconds and them some more rushed timing. Steady, steady as she goes.

rhythm medium_3194792639At the moment I’m up to my eyes in writing deadlines. Which is hugely exciting for me. I don’t get paid to write – not yet anyway 🙂 but I’m ok with that. I love it. Have found my thing. But I have come to the conclusion that I have to get in to a rhythm. I can’t do nothing for a few days and then try to cobble stuff together.
If I’m gonna take this seriously well… I have to take it seriously.

I need to heed my own words and get into some steady timing, a regular flow, then who knows what fabulous lyrics and melody will follow?

Five Minute Friday

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Five Minute Friday – Listen

I really enjoyed Five Minute Friday that last time I did it, so here goes…
Five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme ‘Listen’

I can’t stand noises that I don’t know what they are. I find an unusual noise frightening, and I have to go and investigate to see what it is. The most repeated phrase in my house after “pass the chocolate” is… “Sshhhh, listen, what’s that noise?”

The weirdest ‘find’ ever was when I heard a fast scratching sound that would last a few seconds and then stop for half a minute and then start again. Of course (!) the beloved couldn’t hear it and after a few goes I had to get out of bed and find what it was. I followed the sound to his side of the bed and it was definitely coming from under his bedside locker.

I moved the locker and a HUGE beetle was on his back, legs scrabbling trying to turn himself back over. As you can imagine I reacted in a calm and measured way… After screaming the house down, the husband was dispatched to return the beast to its natural habitat.

A ‘Beetle’ of a different kind…
I could not bring myself to put a creepy crawly on my blog *shivers*

I’m not kidding, I hear everything. Every little sound and squeak.
But it’s important to me that someone else hears it.
When it happens, I don’t just want him to listen to the noise.
I want him to listen to me.
Listen to my fear.
Reassure me that it’s nothing.

Needy? Maybe.
Silly? Yes.
Important to me? Absolutely vital!

Five Minute Friday

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Five Minute Friday – Imagine

So… five minutes of unedited, non stop writing on this week’s given theme Imagine… well imagine that… here we go.

All my life I thought day-dreaming was wrong. I remember in school I would get in trouble for not paying attention. OK so I SHOULD have been paying attention but I got the wrong end of the stick. It was like I was getting into trouble for having dreams and thinking about wanting more than I had.

And so because of that and the fact that I’m a bit of a rebel, I did it a lot.
There are a few verses about imagining that come to mind when I dwell on this.

Ephesians 3:20,21
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

1 Corinthians  2:6
‘no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him.’

I love that  there is an acknowledgement of imagining in the Bible; that God knows we will do it. In both of those verses it’s like He is saying… ‘Go on. Think of it. Think of the biggest, best, greatest, fastest most outrageously wonderful. Then multiply that by some number – you’re nowhere near what I can do, what I have in store for you, what I have prepared for you.’ 

Isn’t that great!?

Five Minute Friday