Not much but more than enough


Have you ever read the story of the widow and the small jar of oil? You’ll find it at the beginning of 2 Kings 4. A woman whose husband had died, was left to deal with his debt. In that place and time, debt that could not be repaid, was dealt with in human life. The woman was awaiting the debt collector, who was on their way to take her two sons away, as payment. She cried out to Elisha, and his response was to ask her what she had. Her answer… a small amount of oil.

I worry that I’m spreading myself to thin these days. I’m just so busy all the time and my to-do list is endless. There just isn’t enough of me to go around. I worry that I’m not putting my heart and soul in to anything, cos I feel I can’t put it fully into everything. They say you should do 1 or 2 tasks to completion, rather than have  10 tasks on the go, but my life at the moment is not so straightforward. There isn’t much I can put down.

So I’m praying for some oil. Not just any old oil, a portion of oil that looks small and is worth little, but that will last; the way it lasted for the woman in the Bible story. Elisha sent out for jars. As they kept coming the oil kept coming; jar after jar. When there were no more jars, there was no more oil. The amount of oil was not endless, it was enough.

I used to think I needed endless supplies of everything to be happy. Loads of money, loads of time, loads of food, loads of technology, loads of ‘contacts’, loads of people and activity around me all the time. I’m working on changing my mindset and remembering that I just need enough.

At the moment, my severe shortage is time. I’ve been challenged recently by a friend’s use of hers. She is so super organised, and after reading about how she plans her day, I actually felt like half a person for a couple of days. In no way did she set out to make me feel like that. I was intrigued and asked her to tell me more about her daily planning. (You know that thing about being careful what you ask for…) I doubt I’d ever be able to get to where she is, but her system has challenged me to make better use of my time.

As part of that, I’m going to ask God to keep stretching my portion of oil for as long as I have jars to fill it. I DO NOT have enough time to get it all done, so I’m going to need some help while I try to get organised.

I don’t need tons. I just need enough.
I just need what I have to stretch a bit, until the jars stop coming!

photo credit: Symic BerryWhite via photopin (license)

More of a Go-Slow than a Fast this Lenten season


So I’m NOT giving up FB for lent. Mainly cos I’m in the middle of a campaign 😀

I’ve decided that I’m going to do something that I would be harder than even stopping chocolate. I’m going to have at least 15 minutes of total silence every day. No phone, no music, no nothing.

You might think it’s a little thing but I can’t bear silence. But I’ve heard it’s a great thing to do. Hopefully I’ll get to enjoy, hopefully I’ll be able to do more than 15 mins at a time, hopefully my spirit and my mind will learn to be quiet too and hopefully it will lead to some real communication with God!

So day 1….. Let me give you a list of the stupid things that came into my head as I was trying to just think about God…

The cobwebs on the window, Fox’s Glacier Dark, my sister Liz, how much like eternity 15 minutes is, Dysons, the launch of my book entitled something like “It Started With a Fast: how I went from 15 mins of silence a day to utter pertection in 6 weeks”, my job, weight loss, weight gain (I’m yo-yo dieting in my head now!), soup and some other subjects that I’d rather not share.

Quite a lot covered in 15 minutes eh?

Now do you see why this is so hard for me?

Now do you see why abstaining from chocolate would probably be easier?

Oh I better dash, got to make dinner, where does the time go?????