Skipping past January…

On By auntyamoIn Health, weight & wellbeing, Writing, Blogging etcLeave a comment

Greetings folks! So the lurgy that went around did not pass by this house without making its mark. We quarantined ourselves, cancelled our week in Ireland and hid out, taking turns putting the kettle on (depending on who had the most energy).

The rest of Jan was catch up time and it’s only now that I’m getting to writing here. I have not been idle though…

I have decided to self publish a second collection of short stories. My audience is not huge, but I am often asked about the next lot of stories. There are lots written, but sitting in files. It’s time to sort that out.

At the same time, I’m starting the editing process of ‘Have mercy upon me O Lord, a a slimmer,’ my NaNoWriMo work from last November. It was painful to write, and I know going back to edit it will not be easy. SO! I’m enlisting the services of an editor friend who will help me kick it into shape, ready to send to some publishers. It’s not a book I plan on self-publishing. I really believe that if it is meant to be ‘out there’, it will be picked up by a publisher. It is in God’s hands 🙂

However if you just can’t wait… I’m delighted that to be part of a couple of anthologies that have just been published. 🙂

The Association of Christian Writers have published a collection, which I wrote a piece for. If you’d like to do some Lent readings with a difference, you’ll enjoy this. There are different styles of writing, devotional pieces, poetry and some creative writing based on the verses. If you’d like to check it out click here.

And I found out that one of my short fiction stories is in an anthology of poetry and prose. It’s called The Write Time Zine. It’s a new project just getting off the ground, and this anthology is also available to buy online if you’d like to support it.

So, although I’ve taken my time getting going this year – I’m now up and running.

Ah yes… running… I’ll come back to you on that one…

A x

Magnify Him!

On By auntyamoIn ChristmasLeave a comment

At this time of year, everything is bigger.

If you’re happy and you love your family, then the wonder of family life is twice, ten, twenty times better. If you’re family life is difficult, it’s twice, ten, twenty times more difficult.

If you are with the one you love, then love is more wondrous.

If you’ve lost the one you love, the grief if more painful.

Whatever our life is like, Christmas puts tinsel and a set of flashing lights around it – whether we want it to or not.

Everything is bigger at Christmas.

26950364729_9c5db6589f_nOn  that first Christmas, God did the opposite. He took the immense expanse of his glory and, as the old hymn says, ‘contracted it to a span.’ The width, breath and depth of heaven’s King, made small enough to fit into the arms of a young mother. From the throne room of heaven, to the smelly mess of an animal feeding trough. Not a bauble in sight.

I heard someone say that maybe the reason why some who don’t normally come to church do come to Carol Services, is because the baby in the manger is no challenge.
The little Lord Jesus, asleep in the hay…

I’m all for tinsel and lights, cards and pressies –  I love it all.  But if everything is bigger at Christmas, then shouldn’t our faith be bigger too? We need to increase our worship, our prayer, our giving (!), our view of God.

We need to magnify him.

Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
    and let us exalt his name together!
Psalm 34:3

Have a fab Christmas; I pray God’s blessing on you lovely readers for 2018. Thanks for your encouragement in 2017. May our view of God be bigger than ever next year.

A x

photo credit: marcoverch Geburt Christi, ein handgefertigtes Puppen-Set via photopin (license)

Half way there and still such a long way to go…

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Health, weight & wellbeing2 Comments

So in my last post I  promise to fill you in on my change of plan for #NaNoWriMo2017.

I was all set to work on my second novel (first one is still in a drawer btw), but changed my mind at the 11th hour and decided to work on a non-fiction book that I’ve been pondering for a while. All about the weight.

We’re at Day 15 of NaNoWriMo, I’m behind par, and a bit stuck. I’m confident that this is a book I’m supposed to write. At the moment it’s called “Have Mercy on me, O Lord, a slimmer.” It was supposed to be fun and funny to write. But actually it’s tough going.

Non-fiction – truth, is so much harder to write that fiction. With fiction you can write a dream, write the impossible. You can make the doorbell ring and have who ever you like in the known universe on the other side of the door. Make the turn of events happen any way you like. You can write the happy ending.

They say the truth will set you free, but it’s a lot harder to craft because – it is what it is. It can be a terrifying thought when you’re used to lying to yourself. I’ve found that I can’t write about losing weight over the last couple of years, without searching why I put it on over the last 30 years.

I’ve been blogging on and off for about 10 years, writing fiction for about 5 years. This is the first thing I’ve felt compelled to write. I’d rather leave it and go back to my novel. Too late now, it’s Day 15 and I’ve another 30,000 words of truth to get out. This struggle to write, coincides with the most difficult diet week in the 18 months. I just want to eat everything.

If you’re a prayer, please pray for me. The battle is on!

This is my song at the moment 🙂

2 weekends of inspiration and encouragement

On By auntyamoIn Random Ramblings, Writing, Blogging etc2 Comments

I had the blessing of scooting off for two weekends, one after the other, on my own!

The first was a weekend in Dublin. I caught up with lots of family, with two dear writing friends, with one of the first Christians ever to make a real impression on me, and I went to a baby shower. It was full to the brim.

I had a bit of a revelation while chatting to my writing friends (neither of whom knew each other – so it was nice to connect them). I consider myself a failed writer – that’s not the revelation bit, I’ve always felt that. BUT, I’ve let it stop me writing. It’s like I’ve been waiting for someone to give me permission to put my heart and soul back into it, as I did in those lovely days before I cared whether anyone read what I wrote.

It was a liberating conversation in the middle of a fab weekend.

The following weekend I was in London, blessed to stay a couple of nights with a good friend, have chats and a hot chocolate with one of my smashing nieces, and join with other Christian writers for the ACW Writers’ Day with Glen and Emma Scrivener. What I took from it, as well as some great books and practical tips, was a confirmation of what my writing pals had told me the previous weekend. Get it writ! 🙂

I asked a question during the panel time. Basically, what if the crushing doubt that writers feel is actually valid in my case? What if I’m just no good?

The answer was like a welcome splash of cold water on my face. Basically it was to stop whinging. Amy Robinson compared my questions and hesitations to Moses when God called him.

But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” He said, “But I will be with you, and this shall be the sign for you, that I have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.” Then Moses said to God, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel: ‘I am has sent me to you.’” God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’ Exodus 3:11-15 

I’m paraphrasing here, but what I heard Amy say was, if God had given me stuff to write, then I should stop finding reasons not to do, and just write it.
Whoosh!!! How refreshing.

So, that’s what I’m going to do. My #NaNoWriMo2017 novel idea has been shelved, and I’m going to write the non-fiction book that’s been forming in me for the last year or so. Will fill you in soon… 🙂

Thank you Amy Robinson! Thanks too, to the other panellists, James Prescott, Glen Scrivener and Emma Scrivener x

A couple of the ACW members have shared their take of the day – well worth a read. You can read them here and here.

Jam & Jerusalem, and Jane

On By auntyamoIn Random Ramblings, Writing, Blogging etcLeave a comment

I’m a total disgrace. This post has been sitting in drafts for ages – time has just been whizzing by and my diary has got way too full too quickly lately. So the writing time has again, been pushed to one side. It is now going in the diary, with all the other things, so at least my stories and blog posts get their share of my attention 🙂

So this post… After 2 weeks on holidays and 2 weeks of being ill, it took me a while to get back into the swing of things.  The hols were lovely; we spent 9 days travelling around the south of England, visiting some fictional places that turned out to be very real indeed.

Our first fictional stop was the village of North Tawton St. Peter. If you are a fan of the British sitcom ‘Jam and Jerusalem’, you’ll know it better as Clatterford St. Mary. If you watched the show, the low set walls that line the pathways around the church building are quite distinctive. The large main entrance door is the setting for a few hilarious moments on the show.

We had a wander around and found a door near the back that was open. We went in and saw the familiar pulpit where the Rev talks about his good friend Alan Titchmarsh, who he hopes to meet one day. The altar where they discuss the Harvest frog and the Harvest man, the organ console where Delilah plays the hymns in such a diabolical manner, it’s perfect! It is a place we’ve watched tons of times and it was brill to BE there.

We heard voices behind us and realised we were not alone. A group of women were sitting in the area just outside the main sanctuary. For a second I hoped it might be Sue Johnston and Jennifer Saunders. But it wasn’t. No disappointment though, these were the real ladies of the real church, in this real town.

It was their fortnightly coffee morning and we were invited to join them. They told us all about when the show was being filmed. Who were the really friendly actors, and who were the ones who kept their distance. Some of the ladies had very briefly been in the show as passers by. We had tea, cake and a great chat with these smashing women. They gave us directions to the house that was used as the home of Sue Johnston’s character, and we had a sneaky peak there too. I’ll never look at the programme in quite the same way again. I think I love it more, now that I’ve met some of its heart.

From there, we went to Bath, to do some Austen spotting. I have been immersing myself in all things Jane Austen. I’ve come to the conclusion that, although I would love to think of myself as Anne Elliot, mature steady woman who stays true to her course and finds contentment in the face of all sorts of adversity. I’m actually more like Elizabeth Bennett’s mother; neurotic, dramatic, never out of arms reach of the smelling salts.

But that’s by the by.

Our few days in Bath were wonderful. Now that I’m able to walk more than 5 mins without needing a rest, I was glad to pound the pavements of Bath and take it all in. I got to see ‘Royal Crescent’. We did the tour of ‘No. 1 Royal Crescent.’ In 2006 it ‘was acquired by the  Brownsword Charitable Foundation specifically with the intention of making it available to the Bath Preservation Trust.’ Click here for more details on its history. It is an amazing house with many artefacts from the Regency period on display. The people that Jane Austen wrote about were the people who lived in these houses. Again I experienced the blend of fact and fiction as I wandered around the house, and the streets.

 

I feel blessed to have experienced some of the reality that frames the ‘fiction’ I love some much. They say that every story is based on something or someone real. Jam & Jerusalem, and Jane’s stories are no exception 🙂

Memories, like the corners of my mind

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Health, weight & wellbeing, Moving from Ireland to Wales1 Comment

I love the Facebook memories function. I enjoy looking back at them; most of the time they are a good laugh. One day last week, some memories popped up that threw me back to what was a very dark time, and I suddenly realised how far I’ve come.

When we moved back to Ireland in 2007 I was in a bad way. I finally let out the sadness that I’d been holding in for a long time. I was on mild medication and going to counselling. I thought that was the beginning of the end; but it turned out to be the beginning of the slow road back to health and strength.

I’m surprised to see myself smiling in the memory photos; inwardly I felt like I was crumbling. Even my hair was awful. I remember coming home from the hairdressers and I cried my eyes out. It didn’t take much to make me cry, but I was so upset by the hatchet job I’d ended up with. Maybe I was too dazed I didn’t communicate properly. I’m sure I showed her a photo, but whatever happened I pretty much ended up with a crew cut. I looked as dreadful as I felt.

The photos are of a holiday we were taking in South East of Ireland in 2008. Friends let us stay in their holiday home. It was a refuge we were grateful for. It was in the middle of nowhere, with no wifi and hardly any phone signal. Just what we needed. Richard was doing a lot of reading and studying for Bible college and sermon prep. I would sit on the floor each day with my guitar, singing and crying to God. It was the lowest I had ever been. I felt sure I’d never recover. I was convinced I was going to die of sadness. It was like I’d saved it up for years; it all came out in one go. Seriously, how I’m smiling in those pics, I don’t know. I remember feeling so empty.

It’s hard to believe the difference. And I suppose that’s the point of this post really. To say that things can change. I didn’t believe God would be ‘the strength of my heart’ – even though I sang it through tears, sitting on that floor.

After my mam died in 2005, God had led to me a beautiful verse which I had taped to my monitor in work. 1 Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. I had been hanging on to that hope. I didn’t just want restoration. I wanted it to be true that “he himself” would restore me, even though I did not believe he would.

Over time though, it has become true for me. I feel stronger, firmer and more steadfast than I ever have. That’s not to say that I don’t have rough days,  just flick through some old posts here and you’ll get the drift.

I just want to encourage anyone who feels overwhelmed with sadness. It can change. God can turn your mourning into dancing. It takes time, and a lot of clinging on. He does it though; I promise.

Better than that… HE promises.

Don’t give up! One day, these sad days will be memories.

A x

Milestones

On By auntyamoIn Health, weight & wellbeing, Writing, Blogging etc2 Comments

So last week I finally hit -5 stone in weight loss.

The first 4 stone were gone in 8 months. It has taken almost 6 months to lose that 5th one. My first big goal is to lose 6 stone so I’m still working towards that. But to finally hit another one down gave me a real sense of triumph.

At the moment I’m taking part in NaNoWriMo’s (National Novel Writing Month, usually in November) mid-year Camp NaNo. You can choose your own word count and tap tap tap away each day for the whole of July, tying to reach that target by the 31st. There’s a daily milestone to reach and I love when I get that wordcount done!

One thing I’ve learned about the journey I’ve been on this last year is that I need to celebrate the small victories. Reaching my first big goal of -6 will be fantastic, but it’s taking some time to get to.  Along the way there have been be disappointments and discouragements – mainly due to my own inconsistency. I’ve taken to cheering myself on to stay motivated. If something stopped working I changed it. If I got bored with a certain food or exercise I swapped it out for something else. Now I could challenge myself to ‘stick with stuff,’ ‘push through,’ ‘go the distance’ etc. My problem is, if I lose the battle in my head it’s game over for me. So I’m doing anything and everything to keep going. Including, celebrating the small triumphs. Down a pound, not being up a pound, walking a little further, walking a little faster, clothes fitting more comfortably, some being too big.

Whatever  counts as a win – I’m taking my place on the podium and I’m gonna cheer.

In 10 days time, please God, I will be taking part in the Cancer Research UK, Relay for Life as part of a team from work. For the whole 24 hours someone from our team has to be walking. This is another huge milestone for me. To be both willing and able to walk long distances is another miracle. It’s the first time I’ve ever done a walk for charity. I’m really excited about it.

I highly recommend celebrating every milestone. Every battle survived, even if not won. Every moment of strength, even if not a complete success. Let’s cheer ourselves on, let’s cheer EACH OTHER on. Celebrate the milestones. Let’s journey on to full victory, one tiny triumph at a time. 🙂

Oh and if you’d like to sponsor me for the Cancer Research Relay for Life, please click here. Thanks xx

photo credit: Shemsu.Hor Former times Milestone via photopin (license)

Walking off the worry

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Health, weight & wellbeingLeave a comment

I’ve had a very unnerving few weeks.

That sounds so much better than, “I’ve been worried sick for the past few weeks.” We’re told so often in the Bible not to worry. I think it might the hardest command to follow.

I had a couple of hospital appointments for tests that were potentially series but ‘just precautionary’. When they were scheduled I was actually fine about them, but too much time can play with the mind. As the days passed I got more anxious (another word for worrying) and struggled to stay calm.

I drove myself to the first one. It was early, so there was very little traffic about. I had left myself plenty of time to park in a multi story and walk the half a mile to the hospital. As I drove, I asked God for a clean bill of health. I’d already spent a several years attending that hospital some time ago. I didn’t want to be a regular there again.

I know the carpark well and its name, but I wasn’t thinking about it. I parked up and walk down the road; the road shares the same name as the carpark.

I continued in my prayers and, as panic set in, my prayers became frantic – a series of what, why and where questions. I took a few deep breaths and calmed down a bit. The calm prayers returned. “As long as I’m on your path for me Lord, I am fine. Help me know that whatever happens, this is part of our journey together.”

And there is was on a street sign ahead of me, the name of the carpark and the very road I was walking along.

Kingsway.

I was on Kingsway.

I must have driven down that road a thousand times and parked there almost as many. I’d never seen it before.

My steps were more confident from then on. What ever was ahead, He was with me. He answered my worrying (there, I said it), with a small gift; a reminder that the road I’m on in life is the King’s way; come what may.

I thank God that the results I received over the next couple of days were all negative. But in that moment of uncertainty I was being held and held up. Walking in the Kings way, with the King Himself.

If you ask me, it’s the only way to travel.

After more hate, there’s more love

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff2 Comments

It’s hard to comprehend what is going on in our world in these days.

Acts of terrorism and tragic events which I was used to thinking about happening ‘over there’ are now happening  less than a couple of hundred miles from me. It shouldn’t make them more terrifying or tragic to me, but it does.

Most people who know me, disagree with me, but I’m loved by many of them. Lots of my nearest and dearest think the opposite to me on most things about faith and social issues, but I thank God (even if they don’t) that we’re able to hug, and laugh and sing and dance together. It is possible! I don’t know how anyone DOUBTS there is a God; but many, if not most, do.

You might be one of those who reckon that love and compassion were invented by John Lennon and the Dalai Lama. I BELIEVE WITH ALL MY HEART they were invented by God – the Bible tells me that and I believe it. But though you may disagree with me about where love comes from, can we at least agree that it is FANTASTIC that it’s still there?! Despite all that’s happened, in vast quantities, in the form of blankets, money, a bag of toiletries from Asda, someone’s spare room, someone’s spare jeans – love really is conquering all.  The stories of the mighty courage of first responders running into danger to do their jobs just blows me away.

There’s that stop-you-in-your-tracks quote flying around at the moment from Maya Angelou, “Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in this world, but it has not solved one yet.” Amazing words, from an inspired woman.

Here are some more amazing words, from Jesus. “You have heard it said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” (Matt 5:43,44)

I’m not saying that no Christian has ever said a hateful thing, but hate is not Christ’s way. I’m sorry for the times I’ve been a bad ambassador for Jesus, or just a bad human being. I believe the world needs His counsel more than ever. Disagree with me if you like, but give us a hug first. If you’re not into hugs, then let me put the kettle on. Cos I love you, and so does HE!

Inspired by Austen (oh and by the way, I’m back!)

On By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff, Writing, Blogging etc3 Comments

Hello there,

after 7 months of being in the writing wilderness, I have returned. An updated look, and a fresh perspective.  I deliberately stopped writing for a while. I felt dry and empty of words, and so concentrated on my health and fitness. Walking, running, gymming (I’m not sure ‘to gym’ is a verb but more here on that one, and it’s -5 stone now). Also spent time working, reading, singing and praying..

I’ve felt for a while that I was making my way back to writing. This week a couple of things happened that sealed the deal. One of them was a trip to hear Lucy Worsley talk about Jane Austen. It was a great event. She was entertaining, engaging, and stylish with it. Had it been the payday and not the day before payday, I’d have bought her book and got her to sign it, but I’ll get my hands on it at some stage.

It was a joy to sit in a room of avid fans. All avid fans of Worsley, if not of Austen. One thing that struck me was that she didn’t dwell on Austen’s books, or even her as a writer, but of Austen as a woman. I kept having to remind myself we weren’t talking about Lizzy Bennett or Emma Woodhouse – we were talking about their creator (small ‘c’ 😀 ). She debunked the myth of the cold and bitter spinster and described a passionate woman, whose writing was fighting talk, in a society that sat women down; with elegance and modesty of course.

It reminded me how much I love Jane Austen’s writing; how much I love to write, and how much I miss it. So here I am, back at the laptop; delighted to see so many of you still around.

More soon x