Ten minuets before I was due to sing on Sunday morning I came over all unnecessary! I always feel a bit tired on Sunday mornings. Well every morning actually…. But usually after the practise I’m raring to go.
Just before the service started I felt really unwell. When we sang the first hymn, I didn’t sing a word – didn’t even feel like I could stand up. I was to sing 3 songs and wondered if I’d be able to get to the end of the first one.
The theme of the service was asking the question, Where does your confidence lie? To be honest I was listening but not applying the question to my situation. (Common mistake of mine) As the girl leading the service announced that we were about to sing, in a split second I thought ‘I can’t do this today…’ then I was up off my chair and on the platform.
I looked at the words and saw the first line that I would sing and they were, ‘In Christ alone, my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song.’ I smiled to myself and off I went.
By the time I got to third song (which I had to start on my own as it was new), I felt like I had my mojo back .
My confidence has had a few knocks lately but on Sunday I really felt the strength of God helping me and encouragement to keep my confidence in Him and not myself.
It also reminded me of a blog post from November 2008. I’ve shared a bit below…
“…The other thing that has happened lately is a change in my singing. Well, actually a change in my attitude to my singing. I had this funny feeling after singing a few weeks ago. Didn’t know what it was but it was nice. It happened a couple of times and I probably should have prayed about it but didn’t.
I went into my boss’s office a couple of weeks ago and he has a picture of Eric Lidell on his window ledge. I have seen it loads of times but I picked it up that day and read what was underneath it. It was the (seemingly) famous quote of his. When he runs he feels God’s pleasure. I stopped in my tracks. THAT WAS IT. THAT WAS THE FEELING God’s pleasure.
I couldn’t believe it. I mean I can sing, I know that. But I’m no Kiri Te Kanawa by any means. But sometimes He’s deligted to hear me sing and sometimes lets me know.
And it happended again this evening. What a feeling it is. I am so unworthy of His love, it’s amazing.
My precious Father, help me abide in you and abide in me that I may be better at serving you. I love you Lord!“