Losing my resolve…

On 31/12/201228/02/2013 By auntyamoIn Random Ramblings4 Comments

Not long now... I better hurry up! — Not long now…
I better hurry up!

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I am not ready for the New Year that is almost upon us! Usually I’m gung-ho for it!

Actually that is not true. USUALLY I feel the NEED to be gung-ho and at the very least feel guilty for not being so. But not this year.

I started this post about 6 times and chucked it half way through each time. I’d start something different but kept coming back to this one only to rip it into shreds (or whatever the e-quivelent of that is). I even tried a version of this post in poetry form…

I’ve eaten so much, I feel I could burst
But still I’m not ready for January 1st
I’ve given up all I want to, or can
I’ve nothing to purge on the first day of Jan

I’m quickly coming to the dismal conclusion that tomorrow really is just another day!
I’ve written before about how I love a new notebook and how neat my writing is for about a day; then it’s back to my own version of hieroglyphics. Well my life follows a similar pattern.

I think my question is… what does it matter when by page 2, Amo will be back to her usual illegible scribble and scrawl !?
Why bother to start again with the – (delete as applicable) diet/prayer journal/financial rec./housework organisation/study timetable (nothing to delele there? nah me either!) when I keep making a total pig’s breakfast of the whole thing?
And I don’t have an answer to that question! Which is probably why I’ve not been able to finish the post. Heaven forefend that I should write something without an answer; or even a punchline.

On this New Year’s Eve, for the first time I can remember, I’m not looking to next year with an excited… ‘this could be the year everything changes’ attitude. And maybe that’s actually healthy.
The Bible tells us that the mercies of God are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-24) So if I was to start tomorrow and fail on Thursday, then start again on Saturday and fail again by Monday… well that’s ok cos I can always start again on the Tuesday… and so on. Well it’s what I did last year – so it can’t hurt.

In music (now try to stay with me here) – resolve means ***
“to progress from a dissonance
[a simultaneous combination of tones conventionally accepted as being in a state of unrest and needing completion]
to a consonance
[a simultaneous combination of tones conventionally accepted as being in a state of repose].”

Today I find myself unresolved! I feel like I’m singing a scale and can’t find the last note. Try it…
Doh… Re… Mi… Fah… Soh… Lah… Ti… Ti… Ti… you know there is something that rounds off the scale but I can’t find that note.

Despite my harrumph-esque musings I do wish you all a really great New Year. I intend to celebrate the New Year’s arrival at a family shindig.
But I don’t promise to be any different tomorrow. Or the next day – or even the day after than.

I’ll let you know how Friday turns out 🙂

*** http://dictionary.reference.com/

One more sleep…

On 24/12/201228/02/2013 By auntyamoIn FamilyLeave a comment

I'm just a big baby :) — I’m just a big baby 🙂

I loooooooove Christmas.

I’m trapped in the middle lane of excitement though. I’m an adult. (No, honest I am!) So I have a certain responsibility to behave in a relatively mature manner. But because I’m the baby of the family (and have managed to retain the title, despited numerous nieces and nephews and a few in the next generation), I fully subscribe to all the tinsel, lights & pressies! I still have a childlike excitement at the thought of ripping Christmas paper off stuff tomorrow 🙂

It’s my family’s fault, they forgot to remind me to grow up!

But… I am a bit sad today. LIke all special days, everything is bigger – including the stuff that’s missing. Like time with my mam, or my own kids to pass on the Christmas nonsense too.
I’m so grateful that my family let me insert myself into their Christmases, but I see them making their own new traditions with children and grandchildren. It’s circle of life stuff I know but some times I feel like my circle got a bit bashed up and every so often I come across a little dent…

I know I know… I have so much more than many people this Christmas. Believe me, I do know how fortunate and blessed I am to have so much and so many to share it with.

And of course there’s the Reason for the Season…! The first Christmas had family, but not a straightforward one! There were visitors and gifts, but in the middle of the joy of a newborn there must have been disappointment. I’m sure Mary would have preferred to have her baby in familiar and ‘CLEAN’ surroundings. And both her and Joseph must have been filled with fear and apprehension at what the future would bring. But in the midst of all that mess and uncertainty the Angel declared that it was “news that will cause great joy for all the people.” Luke 2:10

There is joy at Christmas, regardless of our circumstances…. and as they say, it’s not just for Christmas…. 🙂

One of my favourite lines from A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens is “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future.”
I will enjoy my memories of the past, enjoy the season with my family and trust God for the future!

That’s my resolution… what’s yours 🙂

Happy Christmas everyone.
Thanks for reading/liking/following/commenting – much appreciated 🙂 xx

Silent Night, Holy Night

On 12/12/201212/12/2012 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff1 Comment

I wrote and recorded this for UCB Ireland Radio last year. Just stumbled upon it today and thought I’d share it. 🙂

I remember it like it was yesterday! It was Christmas Eve,
I was about 8 yrs old, I was at Midnight Mass and I didn’t want to be there!

I wanted to be at home soaking in the Christmas atmosphere. Getting ready for bed and wondering how I would EVER get to sleep….! I thought Mass was over and was itching to leave when my mammy said no. “Mass IS over but now there’ll be the procession of the infant. They will place the baby in the manger and we will queue up to say a prayer in front of the crib – THEN we can go home.”

Our church crib was amazing. It was life size crib and I was sure they were real people in it…, but I didn’t care.

I was hopping from one foot to the other, when the music changed and I could just about see a procession of people walking toward the front of the church. The choir started to sing Silent Night, Holy Night. I knew it off by heart but this time it was different. Suddenly the excitement of the man who was to come that night & leave presents was replaced with the excitement of the baby who was to be placed in a manger

“Silent Night, Holy Night, all is calm all is bright”, sang the choir. I had to see what was happening so I stood on the pew. “Holy infant so tender and mild”, we all sang then as life size statue of baby Jesus was placed in the manger. We all joined the queue. As I got to the crib and I knelt down the choir sang, “Christ the Saviour is born, Christ the Saviour is born”. I was mesmerised. Right then and right there I knew it was true. I didn’t really know what a Saviour was but I knew Christ was real.

Ever since then, hearing Silent Night brings me back to that moment when Jesus introduced himself to me for the first time. And almost 15 years later I found out what a Saviour really is!

I reckon I have the best of both worlds. I still have a childlike excitement about Christmas. But now I know the true meaning. I love family and presents and celebration. And I think of the little family in Bethlehem that God used to bring the greatest gift of all to the world.

I wish you and yours a wonderful Christmas and New Year. My prayer for you is that, of all the gifts you give and receive this year, the gift of the love of Jesus will bring you great joy.

The Post of Christmas Past…

On 05/12/2012 By auntyamoIn MusicLeave a comment

This post may look short but it’s haunted with stuff from Christmases of yore…
Click those links at your peril 😉 xx

Here’s my Christmas Top Ten from 2 years ago!

And click here to hear me singing number 10!

Talking through my (Santa) hat?

On 03/12/201203/12/2012 By auntyamoIn Getting to grips with God stuff3 Comments

What is the story with the ‘Mystery of the Disappearing November’? (Was that an Enid Blyton book? If not, it should have been!) Every year, we have Halloween and then suddenly it’s the first of December. Oh look there it goes again…

I know my recent posts have been a bit negative or at the very least been dealing with subjects where there has been lots of negative talk. But Christianity (you may be surprised to know) is about much more than our differing views on the hot topics. I’m not sure how it happened but in pop culture, Christianity seems to have been boiled down to horrible priests and moral opinion that equals hating women.

It’s a far cry from “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all the people”! (Luke 2:10) – which is the heart of the message that was given with the arrival of Jesus Christ on the earth!

My dad - Christmas 2009 — This is my Dad and he wants YOU to enjoy Christmas 🙂

Advent has begun and I have a question for you.
Not “What are you doing FOR Christmas?”
My question is … what are you going to do WITH Christmas this year?

Don’t get me wrong now. I’m no religious Scrooge! I’m a mad woman for the presents and the food and the tree and the decs and the food and the cards and did I mention the food? 😉 I’m not adverse to the odd drinky, although I draw the line at eggnog; cos that’s just not right!

So this is not about throwing out the fun and replacing it with the glum. It’s about enjoying ALL the great things about Christmas, including the message of the angels We’re miles and years from the first Christmas, but family and gift giving fit very well with the original story! And if you’re someone who hasn’t really paid much attention to the spiritual side of Christmas, I would encourage you to spend a few minutes in the middle of the madness to give it some thought. If you look carefully you’ll find the original message is still there.

And for those who are alone or grieving or just sick of the whole thing already, there are tidings of comfort and joy. God is with us – Immanuel 🙂